Relationships can be a delicate dance of emotions; they make you go head over heels for a person whom you were rolling your eyes at till yesterday! When I was boggled with my BAE’s behavior after a few months of dating, the relationship advice I got was to pull away, create some distance, and make him crave and pursue me. But what I didn’t know was how to pull away to make him want me?

More often than not, after the initial honeymoon phase wears out, couples tend to take each other for granted. Suddenly, there are flaws you never saw before. There are apprehensions, and egos come into play.

Who is texting first? Who is planning date-nights? Who is making the first move?

If its you, there will be times when you feel that innate feminine energy in you that wants you to pull away from a man, understanding your importance, teasing him and making him want to more!

Sometimes, creating a little distance can bring you closer to your man. Yes, if you pull away with the intent of getting back together with renewed energy, your relationship will flourish and thrive. There will always be that newness in your relationship.

Do you want to know how to pull away to make him want you more? Read on!

When To Pull Away From A Man

The first step before you actually pull away from a man to make him miss you and pursue you to to understand when to do it. Do it too soon, and he will lose his interest in you. Pull away for too long, and he will get over you.

And the whole exercise will give you no result if your pulling away was so short that he barely noticed it. If you are taking a step back from him, you need to make sure that it is done in ways he’ll notice. Distance and absence make the heart grow fonder, but only when done rightly.

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The act of pulling away, when timed perfectly, can help create a sense of longing and desire, making him yearn for your presence even more. Let’s first know when to pull away from a man, along with a few (or fifteen!) effective steps that will surely make him want you. If you are thinking about how to pull back from someone you like, then this article is just for you!

Backing off from a guy makes sense:

1. When the relationship becomes a tad too comfortable

Every relationship goes through a phase when the couple gets too smug and stops making efforts. Couples in serious relationships often start taking each other for granted; the love gradually fizzes out, and the spark of love seems fading.

Amanda and Ron, despite their committed relationships with deep emotional attraction, fell prey to the mundane daily routine, they went to a dating coach.

The relationship expert suggested Amanda pull away at this stage to reignite the relationship and enliven it with a spark.

You might have been wondering of late, ‘I want to pull away from him to get his attention and make him want me. But, how and where do I start?’. Here are a few pointers to lead you on:

2. When the communication is dying

If you notice that your relationship is lacking in communication, then, girl, it is time for you to seek some more attention from your guy. Go cold turkey or pick up the silent treatment when:

  • There aren’t any more conversations/discussions
  • Both of you do not know what’s happening in each other’s lives
  • Either/both of you prefer to stay glued to their mobile screens instead of talking to each other or agreeing on the same thing

3. When you feel undervalued

A healthy relationship is based on mutual respect. Pulling away gives him an opportunity to realize your true worth and the effort you put into the relationship. Pull away from him to get his attention if:

  • You are compromising on self-respect
  • Your thoughts and opinions are not valued enough
  • You constantly find yourself doing all the work and not receiving the appreciation you deserve.

4. When there is no balance in the relationship

You feel like you’re investing more time and energy into the relationship than he is. Pulling away allows him to recognize the importance of reciprocity and the need to put effort into the relationship.

5. When you need to focus on yourself

There may be times when you feel you have been overlooking yourself for the sake of the relationship. 

  • You’ve neglected your own needs and passions to prioritize the relationship. 
  • Not getting your me-time.
  • When self-love seems to be lost

Pulling away allows you to reclaim your identity, pursue personal growth, and become even more desirable.

When to pull away from a man

How To Pull Away to Make Him Want You? 15 Steps That Won’t Let You Down!

The prime step in making a guy want you by pulling away from him is to PULL AWAY. So the idea is to create some distance between you and your man. You can do that by being physically unavailable, digitally unapproachable, and emotionally withdrawn. You want to make your guy realize your importance.

Once you have identified you need to do something to stop being taken for granted, make your mind and pull away. Yes, precisely that.

Once you are there, the below steps will help you attain your desire further.

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Step 1. Get busy

Create a busy schedule for yourself and fill it up with activities and commitments that you find important. By demonstrating that you have a fulfilling life beyond the relationship, you become more intriguing and desirable.

  • Pick up new hobbies
  • Pursue your passions and interests
  • Maintain an active social life
  • Hang out with your friends or family

Jane, a 27-year-old teacher, had always been passionate about painting but had put her artistic pursuits on hold since she started dating Mark. However, she realized that she needed to reclaim her identity and reignite her passion.

She joined a local art class and dedicated specific days to her painting. As Mark saw her enthusiasm and how her creativity blossomed, he became more captivated by her presence.

Step 2: Focus on your personal growth

No more wondering how to pull away to make him want you! Girl, you have a foolproof way to do this efficiently. Not only does this make you more desirable, but it also enriches your own life. 

  1. Explore new hobbies and passions that make you more intriguing and multi-dimensional
  2. Find activities that genuinely excite you and pursue them with enthusiasm. Having diverse interests will make you a fascinating and engaging partner for anyone
  3. Invest time in developing yourself and enhancing your knowledge and skills
  4. Pursue personal growth opportunities that align with your interests

Ryan was drawn to Sarah’s vivaciousness and love for life. However, Sarah had started to lose touch with her passions due to relationship commitments. Sensing her need for self-discovery, Ryan encouraged her to join a local theatre group. As Sarah delved into acting, her confidence soared, and Ryan found himself captivated by her newfound passion and energy.

This is the best way to make him realise that you value yourself and so should he! Moreover, seeing the feisty you reaching out to her dreams, he won’t be able to resist coming closer to you!

Step 3: Stop being easily approachable and available on social media

While social media can be a great way to connect, avoid making yourself constantly available and accessible. Avoid posting updates or commenting on every single thing. Instead, maintain a level of intrigue by not revealing everything about your life online.

Instead of being too transparent on social media, cloak yourself in a mysterious aura that will leave him spellbound. Using covert profile pictures that do not disclose much and playing hard to get will make your partner more curious and eager to spend time together in person.

You want him to chase you, so give him the opportunity! Sit back and let him come to you, playing your cards right. Perhaps the hardest thing to do is to temporarily cut off contact with him, but it comes with great rewards!

Step 4: Flirt with other guys

Let your guy miss you. No, we are not hinting at serious flirting or having an affair outside your love relationship; you just need to show him that you are a high-value woman! So, do make a note of the following:

  • Indulge in flirtatious banter and healthy flirting 
  • Casually interact with other people 
  • Maintain a friendly and approachable demeanour 
  • Be wary of crossing any boundaries or leading anyone on

You just have to pull away from him to get his attention and let him see that others find you desirable. As he feels insecure, he’ll realise your value and have a sense of competition. Your popularity with other guys will also make you more attractive to him.

Step 5: Subtly flirt with him

Now this is the exact opposite – you flirt with your guy instead of others. Be the feminine woman that you are. Build a deep sense of emotional attraction that he’ll love, tease him a little and then retract, suddenly. 

  • Maintain an air of mystery and charm whenever spending time together
  • Let it be subtle and sensuous
  • The most important step is to feel powerful and create a sense of desire with playful teasing, eye contact, and light touches

This simply means you bring him closer only to sit back or pull away, creating distance and playing mind games.

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Step 6: Take care of yourself

Physical, emotional and mental well-being is something you cannot and should not compromise on. Make yourself your top-most priority and invest your time in self-care.

Wear makeup, indulge in relaxing spas, practice yoga or meditation, or workout – when you take charge of your well-being, you radiate confidence. Plan that solo-trip you have been postponing for so long now.

Michelle had been neglecting her well-being, constantly putting her partner’s needs before her own. Realizing the importance of self-care, she found her own solutions and rediscovered her personal powers with self-care. As she oozed self-confidence and contentment, her partner couldn’t help but feel drawn to her positive feminine energy.

Step 7: Assert your independence 

While being in a relationship, it’s crucial to maintain your individuality. Pursue your own goals and interests, and give your partner space to pursue theirs. This independence keeps the relationship dynamic and prevents it from becoming stagnant.

Sure, you want him, you want the relationship, but is it worth it if you are lost? You are your biggest strength, and your relationship should help you grow, not bring you down where you are just a submissive puppet..

Show your adventurous side to your partner. Let him know that you are a strong-headed woman capable of doing everything independently, which will rekindle his admiration for you. 

Step 8: Spend more time with your friends and family

How to pull away to make him want you? By making your guy realize that there is more to your life than him. 

  • Find ways to reconnect with your near and dear ones
  • Call and catch up with that long-lost college friend
  • Nurture your relationships with friends and family
  • Engage in social activities outside the relationship to show that your world extends beyond just the two of you

What happens when you back off from a guy? Your man feels like responding immediately to your absence. He misses you and wants to be with you all the more!

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Step 9: Embrace your individuality with confidence

Confidence is undeniably attractive. Project self-assurance and demonstrate that you don’t rely solely on his validation for your happiness. Accept your individuality, showcase your strength, and pursue your dreams with determination.

Celebrate your unique qualities and embrace what makes you special. Don’t lose yourself in the relationship; instead, let your individuality shine.

By staying true to who you are, you become an intriguing and captivating person, making him want to explore and discover more about you. This will make him undeniably attracted to you.

Step 10: Allow him some breathing space

Most women leave their partners with no breathing pace in their love life, making it stagnant and suffocating. This can cause men to lose interest and eventually lead them to pull away. Before this happens, give him space to follow his dreams and desires.

Let him explore his own interests and invest his time in the many things he has not had the opportunity to experience. Allow him the opportunity to miss you by occasionally stepping back and not always initiating contact. 

Understand that healthy relationships involve maintaining a balance between togetherness and individuality. Give him space to allow him to appreciate and miss your presence, which will intensify his desire for you.

Step 11: Closely observe him

What happens when you back off from a guy? He either comes back with more interest or he is on the verge of losing interest in you. The one thing that you want, obviously, is to pull away from a guy to make him want you. 

Observe him closely and gauge his reactions to the romantic tension that you are trying to build up. Read between the lines to understand his level of interest and investment in the relationship.

If your guy pulls away too, then this might just backfire spectacularly! You need to cautiously tread on this line. So pay attention to how he responds to the space you give him and the changes you’ve made.

pull away from a guy to make him want you. 
Image by Freepik

Step 12: Limit your availability 

If you’ve been wondering, ‘How to pull back from someone you like? You can’t keep yourself aloof from them!’ then this is exactly what you are wanting in. You need to detach yourself from them and be a little less available for them. Let them notice your absence, and appreciate your presence.

We know relationships are about being there with and for each other. But, girl, when you are being taken for granted, you need to show your partner you are still the boss!

  • One way to bring him closer is to limit your availability
  • The first thing you would want to do here is to see how much time you spend together and then gradually cut it down to make him notice the change
  • Stop being for them every hour of the day. We don’t suggest that you completely cut yourself off, or do something that makes you feel guilty
  • Avoid the temptation to constantly check on him or seek validation

Make him realize he messed up and may lose a good woman like you if he does not mend his ways.

Step 13: Don’t be afraid to say ‘No’

Setting boundaries and asserting yourself is important in any relationship. Make sure you voice your needs and that they are met. If he wants to try some new things in bed butt you are nnot comfortable, say it directly. This assertiveness makes you more desirable and respected.

Don’t be afraid to say no when needed. It shows that you have your own principles and values, and you won’t compromise your well-being or personal boundaries. You are not with him just to do as he pleases.

It’s also essential to maintain self-discipline when pulling away. This self-control will demonstrate your emotional maturity and make him value your presence even more.

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Step 14: Stop making efforts to please him

If you often do things to please him in order to make him like you more, stop doing that right away. Not only is this exhausting for you, it is also unattractive. Your guy will eventually take you for granted because you are too focussed on getting his attention by all means.

Instead, make yourself irresistable by nurturing your own soul, radiating self-confidence and belief. Value yourself, stay positive and avoid exhausting yourself mentally and physically for his approval.

By taking time to engage with yourself on a deeper level, you will exude a deep feminine energy that will make you more attractive than ever. And it will in-turn make him notice you

Step 15: Stay true to yourself

Above all, be genuine and authentic in your interactions with your partner. Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not or play games. You would certainly not want to come across as someone you are not! 

Embrace your true self and let your unique qualities shine. When you are true to yourself, it creates a strong foundation for a genuine and lasting connection. 

Pulling away to make him want you is all about finding the right balance between creating space and maintaining a connection. Remember to be genuine, embrace your individuality, and focus on creating a healthy and fulfilling life both within and outside the relationship. By following these 20 steps, you can create a sense of longing and desire, making him want you more while nurturing a strong and balanced relationship.