Are you constantly wondering why you’re so fixated on how to stop wanting a relationship and how you can break free from this seemingly unending cycle? Not wrong here, as research has it that girls begin dating as early as 12 and a half years old, and boys start when they are a year older by The American Academy of Pediatrics.

We live in a world where we are being sold fairy tales where love is an enchanting spell that fixes everything, leading to a forever “happily ever after.” 

Yet, there comes a time when we can no longer be fooled by the rose-colored glasses of love and start to wonder whether we want a relationship or are obsessed about being in one. And that is where the discovery of self-love and fulfillment begins. 

Constant longing for a romantic relationship can sometimes turn into a silent obsession, casting a shadow over the many possibilities that singleness offers. Walking a trail with a heavy backpack might make every step arduous and draining. But imagine for a moment, what if you could unload this weight? What if you could enjoy this journey by embracing your singlehood and taking pleasure in your own company? Read along to find your answers.

How To Stop Wanting A Relationship – 15 Effective Tips 

Has your mind been bustling with thoughts of candlelit dinners, cozy movie nights, and laughter shared with a special someone? Do you find your heart yearning for a romantic relationship, for the comfort of being “two,” even when you are complete as “one”? If so, you’re in the right place and not alone. 

Yet, this constant yearning can put you in an unbreakable cage of desperation, self-doubts, and low self-esteem. It can prevent you from embracing freedom, self-discovery, financial independence, and a healthier mindset. 

What if there’s a way to stop wanting affection so badly? Rewire your thoughts, shift your focus, and find happiness to unveil the best version of ‘you.’ Take this blog as a roadmap to a more fulfilling, self-loving life outside the boundaries of romantic partnerships.  Say it with me, ‘single like rocks!’. Read on.

1. Hear yourself loud. What is that you want?

The first step towards addressing any issue is understanding it. Examine why you’re craving a relationship. Is it because of loneliness? Social pressure? Dating apps? Or do you want to share your life with someone?

You should identify where the need of having a relationship is stemming from. Dive in yourself, write down your feelings, and understand the perspective.

These motivations can reveal a lot about your emotional state and underlying needs. An innate desire for companionship might drive some, while others might seek validation or an antidote to loneliness. Believe it; you don’t have to stop wanting love but carry it in your heart with utter pride. Take time to introspect and understand these feelings. It can be a powerful foundation for the journey ahead.

2. Embrace your single status

Acceptance is a crucial step in personal growth and contentment. Be proud of your single status, understanding that it doesn’t lessen your worth in any way. We often fall into societal norms and expectations without even realizing it, believing that being single means we’re somehow lacking.  

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However, acceptance isn’t an overnight process; it requires patience and self-compassion but is a significant step towards contentment. Walk out of your past relationships, and add some life to your existence. Until you’re back in another relationship, use this time to strengthen yourself inside out. 

3. Indulge in self-love and self-care

Your relationship with yourself sets the tone for all other relationships in your life. You don’t have to beg or want more in a relationship. Invest time in nurturing the connection you have with yourself.

Prioritize self-care, ensuring that you care for your physical and emotional health. Engage in activities that make you happy, from exercising and maintaining a balanced diet to treating yourself to your favorite movie or a spa day. 

And even if you feel lonely, don’t feel sorry or frustrated about yourself. Be open to every end of your life. Just love yourself and open gates for people to enter in your life naturally. Start your journey in this way:

  • Set the tone for thriving relationships: By prioritizing self-love and self-care, you create a positive foundation for all your relationships, attracting healthier connections into your life
  • Nurture your well-being: Care for your physical and emotional health. Engage in activities that bring you joy, such as exercise, maintaining a balanced diet, or indulging in your favorite movie or spa day
  • Embrace your own journey: Instead of feeling lonely or frustrated, embrace the opportunities that come with being single. Explore new experiences, challenge your beliefs, and be open to possibilities
  • Love yourself first: Avoid relying on relationships to fill a void in your life. By loving yourself and cultivating your happiness, you create a welcoming space for genuine connections to enter your life naturally

4. Do things you have yet to find time for

One of the best ways to move away from relationship-focused thinking is to engage in new activities. Taking up a hobby or dedicating time to something you’re passionate about can provide a sense of purpose and accomplishment. Step out of your comfort zone and explore something new.

Whether learning a new instrument, painting, hiking, or volunteering, these activities offer a healthy diversion and open doors to new friendships. 

Whether you’re single or not, this day won’t come again. Being happy, or even sometimes faking it, brings more love to you. Relationships or not, people love happy people. You might want a romantic relationship sometime, but first, set the foundation right. 

5. Socializing and strengthening existing relationships

Surround yourself with friends and loved ones who respect your decisions and support you unconditionally. Sometimes, the desire for a relationship arises from loneliness or isolation. Strengthening your current relationships can fill that void and provide emotional support.

When did you last meet your best friend? When was the last time you invited everyone home for drinks and dinner? Go ahead, make the best of your social circle.

While you do put effort in other relationships, you don’t need to stop yourself from wanting a romantic relationship. But this way, you will build a strong emotional support for yourself, and socialize freely. It is not a one less lonely life. Cheer yourself up. Don’t resist yourself to be desired.

Stop depleting your energy chasing anyone, and let people come into your life for every little reason. People tend to be attracted to genuinely happy and strong personalities. Let the magic begin!

6. Limit your exposure to all the drama

The notion that everyone needs to be in a relationship is largely influenced by the media. Movies, TV shows, and social media platforms often portray relationships as the epitome of happiness, which can exacerbate feelings of loneliness or incompleteness. 

These only inspire you to fall into a hopeless relationship, be overdramatic, set high expectations, selflessly give, sacrifice your worth, and leave you in an evermore desperate situation. Happy and serious relationships do not happen as romantic movies may want us to believe.

Take a break from consuming such content, and you might notice a significant shift in your perspective about being single. Instead, invest yourself in life-changing or self-improvement books, and notice a different version of yourself budding.

7. Explore your alone time

Embrace solitude and make it your relationship hero. Being alone doesn’t have to mean being lonely. Enjoy activities like reading, painting, or even solo trips. Exploring alone time allows for self-discovery and personal growth, providing a different sense of fulfillment. Spending time with yourself is nothing less than a luxury.

How good your single life is defines how well your relationships will be. Daunt your fears as you try amazing things to win your single life. Being alone is not a synonym for a boring life, but can be defined as a phase where you still dare to take your chances on love or about any other thing in life. 

Why not download a dating app? Ask yourself, ‘Why do I keep wanting a boyfriend?’ when all you need is a company to have fun with. 

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8. Keeping up with the pace of emotion

Perhaps you just went through a painful breakup. And your ex moved on quickly, as if you were nothing. And that has caused you to be desperate to be in a relationship, again. Sounds more like a rebound craving, something that may not even last.

Remember that emotions are not static; they change over time. Be patient with yourself. Just because you strongly desire a relationship now doesn’t mean you’ll feel the same way in the future or it is right for you at this time.

Being single or in a relationship is a personal choice, and neither is superior.

Each offers its own experiences and learning opportunities. The key is to create a life that you find fulfilling and satisfying, regardless of your relationship status. You are enough, on your own, and the most significant relationship you can have is the one with yourself.

9. Set the tracks of your journey

Having goals provides direction in life. They don’t have to be monumental. Small, achievable personal and professional goals can help shift your focus from your relationship status to your growth and achievements. Set goals, work for them, and achieve these goals to boost self-confidence and provide a sense of purpose.

Not only work goals but define your partner’s personality on paper. What went wrong in a past relationship? What is a loving relationship for you? How can you build a healthy place for yourself? The more you answer, the more you find clarity in your mind. 

Crystal, a 31-year-old business analyst in Dallas, says,” This is a good time to think about what kind of person you’d want to be with and what kind of relationship you would be happy with. Get clear on your deal breakers, red flags, green flags, boundaries, and standards.” 

10. Work on building your confidence

Are you saying that you haven’t looked at yourself in that way? You must realize that desperately wanting a relationship shatters your confidence and breaks down the boundaries of your self-worth. Confront your feelings and do more of what raises your confidence.

Find what you always want to do, which will boost your confidence and change your perception of people and relationships. Improve your self-esteem by acknowledging your accomplishments, strengths, and talents.

A confident person doesn’t seek validation from others, they live in contentment without the need for a partner. That’s the only thing you’ll find attractive in anyone around you. 

being single can give a new perspective

11. Practice gratitude every day

Regularly acknowledge what you already have. Instead of focusing on the lack of a relationship, direct your attention to your achievements, friends, health, or even simple daily joys. Gratitude shifts your mindset from a place of lacking to a space of abundance.

Consciously take time to acknowledge and appreciate the good things in your life. This could be anything from your personal achievements, the friendships you’ve cultivated, your physical and mental health, or even the simple pleasures of everyday life, like a beautiful sunset or a delicious meal.

Train your mind to focus on the positive aspects of your life, which can help you feel more fulfilled and content. This is how you can start with:

  • Start a gratitude journal: Write down three things you’re grateful for each day, no matter how big or small. This routine reinforces positive thinking and creates a physical record of your blessings. Express gratitude to revisit and rebuild yourself during challenging times
  • Express appreciation regularly: Make it a habit to thank people in your life for their kindness and support. Not only does it make others feel appreciated, but it also encourages you to recognize the good in your life actively
  • Savor the small things: Learn to find joy in life’s simple pleasures, such as a nice cup of coffee, a warm hug, or a beautiful sunset. Mindfully enjoying these moments can deepen your sense of gratitude
  • Positive reflection: At the end of each day, reflect on your positive experiences. Whether it’s accomplishing a task, sharing a laugh with a friend, or just appreciating a peaceful moment, this practice can help shift your mindset toward gratitude

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12. Being conscious and self-aware

Paying attention to your mental well-being can substantially alter your sense of fulfilment and life satisfaction. Meditation and mindfulness are powerful tools that help you navigate the emotional landscape when trying to stop wanting a relationship. These practices encourage you to focus on the ‘now’, reducing the tendency to dwell on past relationships or anxiously anticipate future ones. 

By anchoring your thoughts in the present, you can better manage feelings of anxiety or sadness that may arise from the lack of a relationship.

13. Volunteering with all your heart

Helping others can fill the void often left by the absence of a romantic relationship. Romantic relationships can be very demanding and you may be pressed for time. The joy derived from contributing positively to someone else’s life or a cause close to your heart can provide a sense of fulfillment and purpose. Try something like:

  • Lend a paw at your local animal shelter: If you’re an animal lover, this could be a perfect way to contribute. Assist in feeding, grooming, and playing with the animals. Don’t forget to help promote adoption events, fostering, and fundraising activities. Who knows, you might even meet your new furry friend!
  • Share the love with the elderly: Offering elderly your time to chat, read, or even teach them how to use modern technology can make a massive difference in their lives
  • Rekindle the love for nature: Participate in local environmental activities such as tree planting, beach clean-ups, or wildlife protection initiatives 
  • Empower through education: Share your skills and knowledge by tutoring underprivileged children or adults

Through these actions, you’ll find that the act of volunteering not only benefits the recipients but can also bring immense joy and fulfillment to your own life. After all, the heart that gives, gathers.

14. Seek professional help anytime

26 percent of all single Americans are in a committed relationship, according to a study by Pew Research Center.  Although this is less than 1/3rd of the population, still if you spend all your waking moments fantasizing being with a romantic partner, it would be wise to consider professional help.

If feelings of longing for a serious relationship start affecting your mental health, consider speaking to a therapist might bring about some clarity to you. Therapists and counselors are trained to provide strategies to deal with such feelings healthily. They can provide an unbiased perspective and equip you with tools to handle your emotions effectively.

15. Reflect on the perks of being single again!

Living single allows you to focus on understanding and developing yourself. You can explore your interests, passions, and ambitions without having to consider a partner’s preferences or needs. This self-discovery can lead to personal growth and self-fulfillment.

  • Freedom and flexibility: Being single provides the freedom to make decisions based on your desires. Whether it’s spontaneous travel, late-night hangouts, or career choices, you have the flexibility to shape your life as you wish
  • Financial independence: Singles often have more control over their finances. You can prioritize your financial goals without having to compromise on a partner’s needs or wants
  • Self sufficiency: Living single cultivates resilience and self-reliance. You learn to handle challenges independently, which can boost your confidence and self-esteem
  • Quality relationships: Being single doesn’t mean being alone. It gives you the opportunity to build stronger bonds with friends, family, and new acquaintances, enriching your social life
  • Time for new things: Yes, this  is a good time to indulge in a new hobby or learn a new language. People in relationships do not always find time to pursue their interests

Why Do I Feel Desperate For A Relationship?

Human beings are social creatures. To be desired or loved is a fundamental aspect of our nature. It is natural to long for a romantic partnership that brings fulfillment, support, and a deep sense of belonging. You may also want a romantic relationship due to societal pressures, the need to feel accepted and validated. However, when this desire becomes overwhelming and desperate, examining the underlying reasons contributing to such feelings may be helpful. Here are five possible reasons why you might be feeling sad, lonely, or desperate for a relationship:

  1. Fear of being alone: The fear of solitude can often make us feel desperate for a relationship. This fear can stem from societal pressure or personal insecurities. It’s essential to understand that being single is not a negative state. Embrace solitude and use it as an opportunity to understand yourself better. Engage in activities that you enjoy and work on self-improvement
  2. Social pressure: Society often imposes the idea that being in a relationship is a sign of success and happiness. Or maybe you get inspired by your best friend’s relationship status. This can create a sense of urgency to find a partner. Remember that everyone’s journey is unique. Don’t let societal norms dictate your happiness. Focus on your personal growth and happiness first
  3. Lack of self-esteem: Low self-esteem can lead to a desperate need for validation from others, often sought through relationships. It’s important to build self-esteem independently. Engage in activities that make you feel accomplished and confident
  4. Idealization of relationships: Media often portrays relationships as the ultimate source of happiness, leading to unrealistic expectations. Understand that a relationship is not a solution to personal dissatisfaction or unhappiness. Work on finding happiness within yourself first
  5. Fear of missing out (FOMO): Seeing friends or peers in relationships can trigger a fear of missing out. This can lead to a desperate desire for a relationship. Remember, it’s not a race. Finding the right person is more important than rushing into a relationship

The key to stop wanting a relationship desperately is to focus on self-love, personal growth, and understanding that happiness comes from within, not from external sources. The journey to stop wanting a relationship starts from within. 

Key Takeaways

  • It is natural to want a relationship but it’s not something that should pull you out of living a content life
  • The first step to being with someone starts with you- be with yourself and discover your inner-self before you pursue someone 
  • Give your life a sense of purpose and stop wanting a relationship relentlessly, focus on your self-growth and confidence. This will eventually attract people to you

It’s about embracing self-love, independence, and the joy of solitude. It’s not about shunning love but rather, understanding that you are completely on your own. Relationships can add to our lives, but they should never be the sole source of our happiness or self-worth. So, take time to explore yourself, your passions, and your dreams. 

Remember, it’s okay to desire companionship, but it’s equally important to be comfortable in your company. You are enough, just as you are.