My friend started dating a cute guy a few years ago. He is polite, funny, and chivalrous. One thing about him that bothers me is that she is always grunting, “He never texts me first but always replies whenever I text him”.

It’s not just one word answers but they have a good conversation whenever she messages him first. I don’t understand why he would never initiate contact with her. If you feel like you are stuck in a similar situation as my friend, you’re at the right place.

We are here to tell you why a man never texts but first but replies instantly. The thing is that men can sometimes have a hard time expressing their emotions because they aren’t articulate with words.

Research has found that they like to display their feelings through actions rather than using words. Perhaps that’s why he chooses to spend physical time with you rather than talking to you through a device.

13 Reasons He Never Texts You First But Always Replies 

If you are texting someone who never texts first, you will have tons of questions in your head. You are always wondering, “Why he texts back immediately but doesn’t initiate?”

And you are right to wonder about his intentions and behavior. Scroll down and find out the exact reason behind your guy’s weird characteristics:

1. He has a shy personality 

If you are wondering why does he reply fast but not text first, it could be because of his introverted and shy personality. because he has a shy personality. 

Some people are naturally introverted and don’t like sending the first text. That’s how their nature is. If you genuinely like him, then don’t stop texting. Make him comfortable in your presence both online and offline. 

If you are confused whether a shy guy likes you or not, here are some clear signs:

  • He won’t give you one-word answers and will talk to you with enthusiasm 
  • Subtly complimenting you through texts
  • Sending you memes as a signal that he is missing you 
  • He will enjoy spending time with you 

The more you make him comfortable, the better he will feel around you and his shyness will wear off. So, try to be patient with him. 

2. Your personality intimidates him 

If you are saying, “My boyfriend never texts me first”, it could be because of your intimidating personality. Do you speak loudly or aggressively? If yes, then there’s your answer.

Perhaps your boyfriend likes and enjoys silence and talking to you will just intimidate him further. 

He could also think that you keep invading his personal space and often display a dominating nature which could be annoying for a man who just wants to enjoy your company.

Your intimidating personality is exactly why he thinks twice before sending you any text message. 

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3. He isn’t over his previous breakup yet

What does it mean if a guy never texts you first? It could mean that he is still in love with his ex-girlfriend and he isn’t able to move on. He is still heartbroken over her.

Perhaps he is using you as a means to get over her. If you think you will lose interest if he continues to behave this way, then let him know that this is not cool. 

Julia, my friend from college tells me, “I like a guy but he never texts me first. I always initiate conversations with him. I know that he is still in love with his ex because he is still following her on Instagram. I don’t know what to do about it.” 

4. He is scared he will annoy you 

Some people always think that they are being a burden or bothering someone when they are not.

Maybe your guy is also thinking that he will annoy you by texting you often. Well.. girls do hate clingy guys and that’s what he is afraid of too. He is afraid of coming across as clingy and needy. 

5. He is a busy man or he just doesn’t like texting 

If you are always initiating text conversations with someone, it could indicate that he is super busy. He could be stuck at work, have an important family emergency, or have any other priority that he can’t get out of.

In addition to that, it could also mean that he hates texting. There are many people who would rather meet in person and talk than have hour-long chatting sessions. He could be one of those people. 

6. He finds you boring

When you are texting someone who never texts first, it could be because he thinks you are boring or that your personalities don’t match. 

He thinks the two of you are incompatible and that’s leading to his disinterest in you. Even if he replies quickly but his replies are short, which shows he does not have feelings for you.

He will give you short answers to prevent the text conversations from becoming lengthy. He didn’t have a good time with you and you need to hit the brake on those messages. Ignore him for a few days and see how he reacts. 

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7. He has commitment issues 

What a shocker! A man with commitment issues. That’s hard to find..NOT! It’s as clear as crystal that he has commitment issues and doesn’t know how to keep you interested without telling you that he won’t commit to you.

He doesn’t want romantic relationships yet but he will talk to girls just to keep himself entertained. 

He is not initiating contact because he has commitment issues

My friend, Natalie, is also facing a similar issue. She texted me recently, “I feel like the guy I am talking to has serious commitment issues. He likes me but never initiates contact.

“Plus, he acts like he likes me in person but never texts me. We even after our first date but no message from him after that. I am meeting him tonight and I am going to tell him it won’t work out without any solid commitment.” 

8. He thinks you don’t like him 

Why is he liking my posts but not texting me? Maybe because he thinks you don’t like him. Did you forget to make it clear that you are into him or are you still teasing him by being hot and cold?

If yes, then there’s your answer to the question, “Why does he reply fast but not text me first?” He likes you but he is not so sure that you like him back. This is why he never texts you first but always replies in a heartbeat. 

9. He is playing hard to get 

What does it mean if a guy never texts you first? He is definitely playing hard to get. This is a classic dating strategy where he will create an impression that he likes you and is interested in you.

However, he will also be inconsistent while communicating and will act like you are the one chasing him. 

Here are some more signs your guy is playing hard to get:

  • He has a hot and cold behavior 
  • He will purposely delay his responses to texts or calls or he won’t text you unless you text him first
  • Acting mysterious about his feelings 
  • He won’t be vulnerable with you 

There shouldn’t be any mind games in romantic relationships. Have an open conversation and find out why he is playing hard to get. Tell him you genuinely like him and if he does too, then you can build something meaningful without having to push and pull one another. 

10. You are just being clingy 

Why is he not texting me? Girls can be clingy too and that can be off-putting for many guys. It doesn’t matter whether you are an introvert dating an extrovert or vice versa.

A clingy person is disliked by everyone equally. This could be one of the reasons why he avoids texting you first. Don’t double-text him and make him think that you are a needy person. 

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11. He isn’t into you romantically 

Does he always wait for me to text him first? In this case, no. He doesn’t, otherwise he will be texting you first. This shows that he isn’t charmed by you and it’s best if you maintain space. 

Avoid texting him all the time and don’t let this affect your self-esteem. He is just playing games to see if you will bend over backward to gain his attention. 

12. He is breadcrumbing and stringing you along 

Breadcrumbing is when someone gives you just enough attention or communication to keep you interested.

He will reply enthusiastically to your texts but he won’t text you first. It’s evident that he doesn’t want a relationship with you.

If he genuinely likes you, his behavior would have told you that in the first place. He doesn’t and he is just leading you on. He’ll be texting you first if he cares about you and wants to pursue this relationship. 

13. You aren’t the only woman in his life

Surprise, surprise! There are others and you are just one among them. He is a serial dater and won’t take you seriously unless he falls in love with you.

If you are asking, “I always text him first, should I stop?” Yes. Stop it. He is busy with other women. Stop wasting your time and get on with your life. 

These are some of the reasons he never texts you first but always replies. I know it’s bothering you and that’s normal. Scroll down and find out what you can do about it.

what does it mean if a guy never texts you first

5 Steps To Take If Always Texting Him First Bothers You

If you are feeling bothered by always being the one to initiate texts with him, here are five steps you can take:

1. Reflect on your feelings

The first thing you need to do is take some time to understand why this is bothering you. Are you feeling undervalued or unappreciated? Are you in love with him and the thought of him taking you for granted breaks your heart?

Understand which aspect of this is bothering you so you have your emotions under control. This will also help you in communicating strongly and effectively.  

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2. Communicate your feelings

Once you know what exactly is the problem, have an open and honest conversation with him about how you feel.

The next time you talk to him, express your desire for more reciprocity in communication and explain why it is important to you. Use “I” sentences to avoid any blame game. 

3. Set some rules 

If he accepts his mistakes and apologizes for hurting you, then you can set firm boundaries regarding communication.

Let him know that you would like him to initiate texts sometimes too, so it feels more balanced and mutual.

Tell him you want a more balanced equation where neither of you has to feel neglected or ignored. 

4. Give him space to respond

After expressing your feelings, give him the opportunity to change his behavior. Be patient and observe if he makes an effort to initiate conversations more frequently.

Don’t expect positive results overnight. You need to give him some time to rectify his errors. 

5. Reevaluate the situation

If despite your efforts, he continues to show little initiative in texting, think about what you want to do about this.

Ask yourself if this dynamic is aligning with your needs or if it is disrupting your mental health. If this is what you want, then give him another chance.

But if this is really taking a toll on your emotional well-being, then walk away from such unhealthy dynamics. 

Key Takeaways 

  • Men and their emotions can be confusing at times. They will be ready to move the earth to impress you one moment and will act like you don’t exist the other 
  • When he never texts you first but always replies, it could be because of various reasons like having a busy schedule, not being into you, or just playing hard to get 
  • If this is bothering you, set clear boundaries and reevaluate the situation 

The zestfulness of one person constantly texting first, whereas the other just replying can be a difficult one to navigate. But each person has their own style and preferred mode of communication.

Don’t jump into conclusion and think the worst of a person. First, talk to him and understand why he never texts first.

If his answer is satisfactory, you can continue talking to him.

If you feel like he is just making excuses and leading you on, sever ties with him and move on.


1. Is it okay to text a guy first all the time?

Texting a guy first all the time is okay as long as you are comfortable with it. However, if you find yourself constantly initiating conversations without receiving a similar vibe in return, you need to reflect on whether the relationship is balanced, mutually rewarding, and fulfilling. 

2. What is the psychology behind not replying to texts?

The psychology behind not replying to texts can differ from person to person. Some people just forget to reply to texts as they are busy. Some hate texting and some hate having difficult conversations through text messages.