Are you at a complete loss of words, not knowing how to react and what to say when a guy says I love you over text? Yes, we get it. You’ve been seeing this guy for a couple of months and have just been getting to know each other better. Texts go back and forth throughout the day as both of you are still unsure if you have entered the dating phase yet.

And suddenly, the guy decides to drop a bombshell of a text—he utters those three little words that make your head spin and the world go round: ‘I love you’! You are baffled; you have no idea what his intentions are. Especially, if he has said ‘I love you’ for the first time.

You want to know what did he mean when he said I love you for the first time over text? Is he serious about his strong feelings? Is it a sign of a new relationship blooming or is he just playing games to have some fun and maybe sex?  Is he sincere and serious about you? Or he has just dropped these words to manipulate you?

This could be any of us. In the present digital era, text messages and emojis have become the modern equivalent of love letters. In this age of dating apps and instant messages as the most popular modes of communication, dropping the L-word can really be a big deal.

Sit back as we proceed to explore all this and more. Let’s try to understand what really is the meaning behind the love you text and how can you respond when a guy says I love you over text. 

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What Does It Mean When A Guy Texts I Love You?

You are casually going about your day when your phone beeps and the notification shows you a text message. You open the text to realize your boyfriend has randomly texted ‘I love you’! It’s like a plot twist in your own romantic movie. But, what is its meaning? Let’s try to crack the code!

1. He loves you!

Take the written words for their face value–he is deeply in love with you and his message expresses his genuine emotion. You have known him for a while now, and he has felt a strong connection with you. Your relationship so far has all the green flags checked in.

He is genuinely head over heels for you and is unable to contain his feelings any longer. He is surely attracted to you and wants you to know how much you mean to him.

2. He takes the L-word casually

He belongs to the age of Netflix-and-chill and isn’t too serious about committing. When a guy says I love you over text, it suggests his interest in you. But not necessarily romantically. He likes you and cares for you, but his ‘I Love You’ does not really hold any deep meaning.

It could also mean that either he is unsure of his true feelings or he loves you the same way he loves his friends.

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3. He is one of those drunk dialers!

Truth be told, we’ve all been there and done that. It just happens! Sometimes, alcohol gives us the boldness and courage to say and admit things that we otherwise wouldn’t in our sobriety. So, if you find a person texting ‘I love you’ way past midnight, you might have to figure out if he really loves you through text or if it is just a result of one too many shots!

It can also mean he is an eager beaver who is impulsive. His text is an outcome of an on-the-spur-of-the-moment action/reaction to something. Wait for a couple of months to see if he really means what he says.

4. He is shy and afraid of rejection

This guy you are dating is too shy to confess his love for you. He has been smitten by you, but he wants to test the waters first before acknowledging his feelings for you in-person. He is not sure how you would react, and unless he gains a sense of it, he would not take the risk of sharing his true feelings with you.

Other signs a guy likes you over text include-

  • Him checking on you every few hours
  • Him sending you relatable memes
  • Sending you good morning and good night texts
  • Sending you thinking of you messages often
  • Being the first one to comment on your status
  • Often complimenting you

A guy saying I love you through text can also mean he cannot muster enough courage to face rejection. He wants to express his feelings but is also scared. He wants to communicate and convey his feelings via text rather than talking face-to-face.

Notwithstanding his fear, the most important thing is his affection for you and his willingness to enter into a relationship with you.

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5. He wants to take things further

He sees his future with you, having found in you his soulmate. He sees you as ‘the one’ He wants to take the relationship to the next level and is suggesting a move forward. For instance, if you have just started dating, he may want to get exclusive with you.

If you are already an exclusive couple, maybe he wants to introduce you to his inner circle or is considering living with you. You feature in his future, and that is a big positive, isn’t it?

6. He wants to get physical with you

Yes, that’s true. A study found that men can often use the three words ‘I love you’ just to get you to bed. Bowling you over by saying these 3 words, he just wants to get into your pants and use you for sex.

It is merely lust or infatuation on his part, and all he wants is to get physical. He is trying to gain your trust to convince you to have sex and emotionally manipulate you into giving in by saying what you want to hear.

7. It is a platonic love

He deeply loves you but on a platonic level. A platonic relationship is when you love and care for a person without being sexual. He simply adores you as a friend and wants you to know that. 

How to respond to I love you text
Image by Freepik

What To Say When A Guy Says I Love You Over Text?

So, you find your boyfriend saying I love you over text for the first time, and you are all confused. There is a volcano of emotions heating and rising up in you with an eclectic mix of surprise, (maybe joyful) confusion, and indecision.

It is all good when a guy texts you goodnight and good morning or keeps texting you all through the day, but confessing love over text?! That’s a huge deal!

While you are still wondering, ‘Is it weird to say I love you over text?’ The next doubt that hits you is even bigger: How do you respond to his I love you text without saying it back?

You are still unsure about the certainty of his feelings, and you definitely don’t want to jump to conclusions but rather take things slowly. Even bigger is the problem when someone says I love you but you don’t love them back!

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How are you supposed to respond? We understand all this can make you run like a headless chicken. So here we are with a few responses to ‘I love you’ texts that you can rely on to save your skin.

1. Pause and think

When a guy says I love you over text, take your time before hitting the reply button. Understand that you are under no obligation or pressure to send an immediate response. Introspect, reflect on your feelings, and then respond accordingly.

2. Confess if you too, love him

Although you need to double-check your feelings before replying, you can be straightforward in your approach if you have a thing for him. If you are too shy, then you can just drop a hint by saying ‘I like you’ before you graduate to say ‘I love you’. There are many beautiful ways to tell a guy you like him!

Or, you can consider calling him up to set the love ball rolling. Love is too beautiful a feeling to be brushed aside by playing hard to get.

3. Talk face-to-face

Take the conversation beyond the phone screen. You can suggest meeting in person for a more open and honest conversation. He might have been too shy for the confrontation, but with your genial and friendly demeanor, he might overcome the awkwardness and be transparent about his feelings. Plan a meetup, talk openly, make him comfortable, and try to understand each other better.

4. Let him down gently

Things can get really tricky when someone says I love you, but you don’t love them back. Tread cautiously since the situation demands a gentle yet firm approach. The person might have resorted to texting because they fear rejection. Do not delay the response if you do not feel for them. This might lead them to believe otherwise. Instead, you can opt for any of the following responses:

  • ‘I am not ready to commit yet. I need some time to process this. Can we please stay in touch till then?’
  • ‘I like you, but as a friend. Let’s stay each other’s best bud as we have always been!’
  • ‘I do love being with you but I do not see us together in a romantic relationship. I value our relationship and would love to stick around, nonetheless.’
  • ‘I’m sorry, but I do not feel the same for you. I hope you understand. We can still stay in touch if you are comfortable. However, I understand if you aren’t.’

When a guy says I love you over text, express your gratitude for them. Even if you do not feel for him, be courteous and acknowledge their honesty. It takes a lot to express oneself. Graciously appreciate him for his courage and express your gratitude for having them in your life, even if you cannot reciprocate their feelings. 

5. Seek some time

If you are unsure about your feelings and are yet to make up your mind, ask for some time. Similarly, if you are not certain about his intentions and feelings, ask for some clarity. Talk it out and ask him directly to gain insight into his emotions.

This will also help you come to a conclusion about your own feelings. Until then, you can continue being friends and getting to know each other better.

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6. Reply with a question

If you find it difficult to understand the meaning behind his seemingly cryptic text, you can reply with a question. When a guy says I love you over text and you are caught off-guard, you can simply text them back, saying, ‘Whoa! That’s a really big statement. What brought this on?’.

His reply to your question can help you know his intentions. On the flip side, if it is just an impulsive text on his part, he might keep a check on himself then. 

6. Use the power of emojis

Take the safe yet mysterious route of emojis. In case you don’t want to be too clear-cut with your words, use emojis. is it weird to say I love you over text? Yes, it is! Send them a confused emoji. Want to be affectionate without committing to a relationship? Send them a hug emoji. Tease him with the one that merely hints at your dilemma and leave the rest for him to decode!

With handwritten love letters being replaced by text and emojis, decoding a text can get bewildering. When a guy says I love you over text, it can mean different things to different people, depending on their equation and camaraderie.

Whether you wish to dive headfirst into the sea of love or test the water before taking the plunge, know that open and honest communication holds the key. Listen to what your heart says and take it further only one text at a time. Who knows there could be a love story awaiting you in your inbox!