You could be anticipating marrying your long-time beau, especially if you have been together for a long time. That is the natural progression of a relationship, you may say. But there is something wrong, and here you are looking for these signs he will never marry you?

Couples in long-term relationships often see themselves together for a lifetime. So if you have been with your Mr. Right for quite some time, it is natural for you to expect him to pop the question. When you love him, you easily set your hopes high, in this case by seeing yourself walking down the aisle with him. 

But, if marriage plans perpetually seem delayed, you might begin to wonder, ‘Will he ever marry me or am I wasting my time?’. Well, while we cannot really ditch this doubt, we can help you see through him. 

There could be certain clear signs he will never marry you. Here, we take you through such common signs and red flags that most women fail to notice in committed relationships. So let’s get started with this one to be more alert to signs he will never pop the question as he does not see you as his future wife. 

17 Harsh But True Signs He Will Never Marry You

Research conducted by the Pew Research Center shows more and more American men are either delaying their wedding plans or are forgoing them entirely. The study found in 2021 that around 25% of 40-year-olds in America have never married.

Though the reasons are varied and beyond control, you can watch out for the indicators he’s not ready for marriage. Instead of getting bogged down by the anxiety about never getting married, see if your guy wants to take things to the next stage in the near future.

1. He downplays the relationship

You could be in a very serious relationship for years, but you would always find him playing it down. He would tell his close friends that he isn’t too serious about the relationship and has no plans for a wedding. He keeps your relationship a secret and is shy about bringing it into the public’s eyes.

It is also one of the big signs that he doesn’t feel too happy or content with the relationship and so tries to negate it. If this is the case, then, girl, you need to run away. Leave alone thinking of a wedding date; it is not even a healthy relationship to be in.

Your seemingly long-term partner is not going to mention marriage anytime soon, for he’d rather trivialize it than take it seriously. 

2. He is not taking things forward

So he has dropped the L-word, proposed to you in the most dreamy way possible, and slipped a dainty ring into your fingers, but he isn’t budging from this step. Your relationship has happily gone through all the stages, yet the most important one, the D-Day, seems elusive.

If you notice any of the following, then certainly he isn’t planning to be your life partner!

  • The moment you mention marriage, he gets tight-lipped 
  • He keeps delaying it further and further or has no concrete answer to your questions about the wedding date
  • He is not asking to move in together
  • You haven’t gone on a vacation together, despite dating for years 
  • His future plans do not feature you or his wedding plans

These might be more subtle than you think, yet, truth be told, they are clear signs that he does not want to marry you.

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3. He is waiting for ‘the right time’

It is never ‘the right time’. He is burdened with work at the office. He is waiting for the overdue big promotion. He is mentally stressed out and wants to take care of his mental well-being first. His friend is going through a breakup, so he cannot celebrate his big moment right now.

The time is never ‘right’ because he doesn’t want it to be!

Blaming it on the time or circumstances is just his way of making excuses. All this hullabaloo is nothing but life. Had marriage been his top priority, he would have gone out of his way to find the right time.

Last month, my friend Stacy got married to her boyfriend of 8 years, Ray, even though he suffered a serious fracture. He decided to go ahead with the wedding because he earnestly wanted to do so, and no injury or mishap could stop him from living their best moment together.

Signs He Will Never Commit to Marriage
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4. You have not met his family members

He will talk about the eccentricities of his family but won’t ever invite you to meet them. You are not a part of the family celebrations, nor have you been to his home to meet his parents or siblings.

Your marriage is probably off the table if you haven’t met each other’s family despite being together for years. Had he been serious about wedding plans, he would have introduced you to his family and other friends. Any guy with serious future plans would have his potential wife meet his family and let her hang out with them. 

He would not even show any interest in meeting your family or even getting to know much about them. He would dodge your plans that involve family gatherings and meetings. Undoubtedly, one of the biggest signs he is never going to marry you. 

5. He suggests a trial move-in

He avoids the conflict of marriage by suggesting to move in together. The move-in will be a part of the trial period where both of you understand how it feels to live together. He claims he is doing it to test compatibility. Anyone who takes marriage seriously will plunge into action to exchange vows rather than move in for a ‘trial’. 

Remember, do not, we repeat, do not fall into the trap of such trials. It will only leave you on a waiting list. Agreeing to a trial period is akin to leaving your relationship on tenterhooks; you keep on hanging there with no definite result.

You May Also Like: Make Him Make The Move: 11 Strategies To Get A Guy To Ask You Out 

6. He blames it all on his ex-girlfriends

He has had some crazy relationships in the past with some really weird mix of ex-girlfriends. If all his previous relationships had failed miserably, then look for the one red flag common in all—that’s him!

Probably, it was his reluctance to get married that brought the relationship to an end, but hey, the blame has to be on the ex. 

Maybe they just wanted him to settle into marriage, but he bailed out before things got ahead. Chances are your relationship is also going to face the same fate, considering how he gets cold feet at the mention of marriage.

7. He has his priorities elsewhere

One of the huge signs he will never marry you is his priority list, where you do not find a mention. A Reddit user enlists this as one of the key reasons to avoid marriage: ‘He doesn’t love her, she’s just a comfortable option for him.’

You are just his backup plan to spend time with when his family or other friends are not available. He keeps you by his side to hang out with when he has no other plans.

You are always somewhere down on his priority list, with his work, friends, personal life goals, and career goals ranking at the top. If a man is invested in you, he will prioritize you for fear of losing you. If you feel you are not being prioritized, listen to your gut, for this person will never pop the question.

8. He seems to be distant

Is he getting increasingly distant? Does he allow you into his emotional space? Is he readily available when you need him the most? He will never propose to you if you have been answering these questions in the negative. 

If your man builds walls around himself to keep you at a distance, then it is one of the signs he will never commit to marriage. A man gets vulnerable and emotional with his potential life partner while sharing his deepest fears and insecurities.

He doesn’t see you as a wife in the future if he is avoiding this and controlling his emotions in front of you. Sorry, but your’s is not a forever kind of relationship.

He is unwilling to express himself openly and acknowledge his emotions. Do you really see your soulmate in him? This looks like a huge indicator he’s not ready for marriage!

Read This: Am I Overthinking Or Is He Losing Interest – 10 Tips To Help

9. He gets unsettled at the mention of marriage

Sharing experience, one of the Quora users talks about her boyfriend denying marriage: ‘He doesn’t have a clear answer of when. He gets squeamish at the conversation about getting married. He proudly states to others that he’s not thinking about marriage.’ The very topic of getting married will unnerve him and give him sweaty palms. So:

  • He tries to avoid the question of marriage
  • He refuses to share his opinion or concern about marrying
  • He will change the topic and try to divert your attention to ‘avoid conflict’

So the elephant in the room is brushed under the carpet. What more of a big sign you need to tell you he does not see you as his future wife or envisions a future with you?

10. You are absent from his social media profiles

Even though you two have been dating for years, you are not connected on social media. Now that is something very uncommon for our present generation, but this is how things are!

He doesn’t tag you anywhere; forget about making it public that you two are seeing each other. He won’t befriend you on social media. There are no special mentions of your birthdays, anniversaries, or relationship milestones. 

We do get that he might not be a social media person at all. But you also have to understand that it is not a good sign for your relationship. It could actually go on to mean that he is hiding his relationship status from other people and, most importantly, other women. He wants to appear single and will never plan to marry you.

will he ever marry me or am i wasting my time
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11. He is indecisive 

He is indecisive. About his readiness to marry. About his sexuality. About his financial conditions. About commitment. About you!

He is not sure if he really wants to marry you and is hence trying to avert the question. He is a nervous wreck, incapable of making a life-altering decision. 

Deciding on marriage is a herculean task for him, so he avoids facing it. If you have been together for years and he is still unable to make up his mind, then it is one of the clear signs he will never marry you. Because if he wanted to, he would! 

12. He continues to live like a single 

Men see marriage as a HUGE responsibility that comes at a price–their singlehood. If your guy enjoys being single and is still living his life as if he were a bachelor, then it clearly means that he has no intentions of marrying you. 

Talking about such people, one of the Quora users points out that they ‘love their personal life too much. Friends, outings, late-night parties, smoking, drinking, flirting, this is the life you love…’.

They are wary of losing out on all this and hence try to escape the marriage mark. If he continues to be a party animal who loves his beer a tad too much and is almost always flirting with other women, know that he is not ready to settle in yet. 

Read This: 13 Types Of Guys Who Stay Single — And Why You Should Avoid Them

13. He is dropping hints of being anti-marriage

If you really want to know about his wedding plans, then pay close attention to everything he says. Maybe, he isn’t a believer of the marriage institution and has been dropping hints to let you know lest you set your hopes high.

It could be his casual comments about how immature or naive you two are or he isn’t willing to rush into serious commitment. 

If he doesn’t believe in getting married and has his opinions firmly established, there is nothing that you can do about it. The most you can do is look for the signs he will never marry you and make your way out!

14. You are reduced to pleading and begging

You could be hinting at marriage for long, bringing it into your conversations now and then, much to his neglect every single time. He will overlook all the clues leading to the wedding, change the topic and eventually bring you to beg and plead.

Even strong and authoritative women find themselves in a situation where they have to request and implore the guy to get married. 

If you notice yourself being reduced to begging, know that it is a huge sign to move on from the relationship. Such men have no plans for getting married and are never going to propose to you.

15. He is unsure about his sexuality 

Sexual orientation is a thing that can drive anyone nuts. It is natural for men and women to be confused about their sexuality at any point in time. If he has been deflecting the talk around wedding, maybe he is still trying to figure out his preferences. Needless to say, before he commits to you, he needs to identify himself. 

If you notice any mannerisms or behavior that signals his swinging the other way, allow him some time to figure it out. Do not rush or pressurize him into marrying, instead watch him closely and then take a call depending on his preferences. 

Indicators He's Not Ready for Marriage
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16. There are no signs of a proposal 

You two have been dating for years. You have been continuously dropping hints about getting married to each other. You have seen most of your mutual friends walk down the aisle and have kids together. But, there are no signs of a proposal! 

He talks about focusing on his personal growth to make more money, achieve his life goals, and reach milestones, but the most important words—”Will you marry me?”—are nowhere to be heard.

You might be wondering, ‘Will he ever marry me, or am I wasting my time? He is not even proposing to me!’, but let’s face it, he will never propose to you. If he wanted to, he would have. 

17. He focuses only on himself in bed

He is selfish and narcissistic when it comes to steaming action between the sheets. His main objective is his orgasm, not yours. If you do, then that’s just a cherry on the cake. He is not concerned about pleasing you, he seeks his own pleasure. Mutual gratification is a concept alien to him. 

How he makes you feel while having sex can tell a lot about him and his intentions. Maybe he is just using you as a tool for self-pleasure; who knows?! That he doesn’t care about you is one of the signs he will never marry you. 

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How Do You Test If He Will Marry You?

You know now how to tell if he doesn’t want to marry you. But, how do you find out if he is totally into you and can’t imagine his future without you? Look for the following signs and you’ll get an idea if he is a guy worth keeping!

  • See how he envisions his future. Is he comfortable talking about his future? Do you find yourself mentioned in his future plans? If yes, then, girl, you’re in for a surprise. The guy is not leaving you anytime soon. He is totally for keeps!
  • Does he take you home to meet his family? You have been casually hanging out with his family and close friends. You know his inner circle inside out and they know you equally well
  • How does he react to your decisions and opinions? He continuously asks for your viewpoints for every decision he makes. He trusts and values your opinions because he sees you as a family
  • Check if he is there for you. A guy who wants to marry you will always have your back, no matter what. He will be there to extend his support and lend you a shoulder to cry upon every time you need one
  • Ask him directly. Nothing can be better than honest and open communication. Walk upto him and ask him straightforwardly where he sees the relationship going

Key Takeaways

  • Understand that it is okay to not want to marry. It is better to let the person go than pressurizing them into yielding
  • Look carefully for signs he will never marry you. They are everywhere to be found–in their behavior, conversations, texts, reactions to the wedding talks, et al
  • Your guy could be living like a single bachelor, focusing only on his sexual pleasure, and reducing you to begging
  • He could be indecisive and uncertain of his sexuality which will show in his nervousness at the mention of marriage
  • You can test him to know his intentions or ask him upfront and have an open conversation about it

Whether someone is ready to marry or not is a personal choice and needs to be respected. If you notice any such signs he will not marry you, then it is time for you to rethink your choice of man. It might not be worth investing your time and effort. It is pointless to wait for a change of heart when you know they would propose if they wanted to. Instead of ruminating over what could have been, move on and find someone who you can settle with. And remember, love is always around the corner waiting to bring you joy and happiness!

FAQs

1. Can a man love you but not want to marry you?

Yes, a man can love you without wanting to settle in a marriage. He might be more comfortable dating you than shouldering the responsibilities that come in tow with marriage. He might not be financially and mentally prepared to take the plunge and would rather love you from a distance.

2. How do you know he is not the one to marry?

Look for the red flags. They always show up subtly–be it in their behavior, their approach to life, their lifestyle, or the way they treat you–everywhere. Remember, a healthy relationship is built on the foundation of love, respect, trust and communication. You find one missing, and you have to go find the next Mr. Right.