Just because you are married to the love of your life doesn’t mean they will love you forever. Unfortunately, long-term partners start taking each other for granted, and the romance fades away. And then one day, you start noticing many signs your wife likes another man.
Desperate and distraught, this can hit you unexpectedly. It can be devastating, but it’s necessary to not turn a blind eye to these warning signs.
Can a married woman like another man? Of course. According to research professor Nicholas Wolfinger, 10 to 15 percent of married women cheat on their husbands. The reasons for deception can be many, though.
Even though she hasn’t said it out loud, you may notice signs she is interested in someone else. That could break your heart, nevertheless, you must implore and reason as to why is this happening and figure out what should you do. We are here to help with the same.
However, unless you have solid proofs of her cheating on you, you must not accuse her. Do not just rely on your gut feeling and do not jump to conclusions without concrete proof.
Be mindful of the fact that she is still your wife. She may have lost interest in you now, yet, she is your spouse. And she deserves all the respect.
What Attracts A Married Woman To Another Man?
My cousin, in a presumably happy marriage, started to develop feelings for her neighbor. They would drop the kids together to school and sometimes pick them up together as well. As neighbors, the families often hung out together during weekends over drinks.
She didn’t realize when she started gravitating toward him. When she found herself thinking of him all the time, she decided to seek help.
My cousin’s marriage was fine on the surface, to outsiders they looked like a happy couple.
However, they had differences that time had only made hard to resolve. And they pulley away from each other, succumbing to a room-mate marriage system.
Married women seek love outside their marriage for various reasons. There is no one-size-fits-all answer to this question. There are several factors that may contribute to a committed woman develop feelings for someone who is not their spouse:
- Lack of emotional connection: If your wife thinks she is stuck in a surface-level marriage where your connection lacks depth, it could be one of the reasons why your wife likes someone else. She could be involved in emotional infidelity because she isn’t getting this intimacy from you
- Aesthetic & physical attraction: If you have stopped maintaining yourself and she meets someone who looks better than you, then this could have drawn her toward the new man. You can just nip this attraction in the bud by giving more attention to your grooming and styling
- Attention & validation: It isn’t a happy marriage if your wife feels like she isn’t getting the appreciation, acknowledgment, and validation she deserves. You are either too busy or do not value spending time with her. Hence, she seeks these things from elsewhere – where she gets them
- She fell out of love: If your wife is obsessed with another man, it’s clear that she has outgrown the love she once had for you. She does not love you anymore and that’s it. You can sense indifference creeping in your marriage. She is unhappy with you and wants to be with someone who makes her happy
- You aren’t satisfying her in bed: Physical intimacy is important in having a blissful marital experience. Perhaps she thinks there is something missing in your sex life and that could be one of the reasons your wife is attracted to another man. A study backs the fact that sexual dissatisfaction can be a reason for infidelity
- Unresolved issues: Unresolved issues in a marriage can make partners drift apart, gradually making space for a third person. Your wife may have started to feel attracted to someone else because you keep pushing the problems under the rug
There are times when we all fall for the trap of “the grass is greener on the other side”. While it’s nothing wrong to think so and feel like there is something lacking in your marriage, however, it’s morally wrong when you act on these feelings and head toward the wrong course of infidelity.
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15 Tell-Tale Signs Your Wife Likes Another Man
You can’t have a marriage without fights, difficult conversations and wives hating their husbands at times. It’s during such difficult love situations when her loyalty gets tested. And we are not talking about when your wife is just vying for the attention of other men,
To find out whether or not your wife has given away to her hidden desires, take a look at the glaring signs your wife may like someone else.
Infographic: Your Wife Likes Someone Else
1. She is always zoned out
When you are married and still in love with your partner, you are always mentally present with them.
However, if your wife has suddenly withdrawn from your usual conversations and seems all distant, it’s one of the signs wife likes another man.
How can you tell if your wife is seeing someone else? Just pay attention to how she behaves and conducts herself when she is with you. Is she seemingly lost, confused and zoned out?
If your wife is interested in another man, her attention span will dramatically decrease. She will always seem lost in her thoughts and won’t be able to follow your conversations.
Perhaps she is thinking about her new boyfriend or planning in her head how and where to meet him without her husband (you) finding out.
This is one of the common signs that indicate something is brewing inside your wife’s head (and heart). The sooner you act, the better it will be for your marriage.
2. She avoids spending time with you
If your wife is seeing another man, then she will also avoid spending time with you. She will say she wants some alone time. She will keep herself busy on her phone or with her friends or some other chores.
You plan a dinner with her but she backs out saying she is not feeling well. She feigns a headache if she notices you are advancing toward her. She will not be even in the same room as you.
You will often find her talking gleefully on the phone or smiling when with others, but when she is with you, nothing seems to interest her. Eventually, you will find her avoiding every opportunity to spend time with you.
This is one of the glaring signs you should never ignore if you suspect your wife is attracted to another man.
3. Her bad mood says it all
Generally when married women are in a bad mood, it’s because the husband did something to offend or hurt them.
However, if you did nothing and you’ve only been polite and respectful toward her, it means this bad mood has nothing to do with you.
She is playing a bit of a mind-game, showing that she is mad on you she can get excused from talking to you – something she wants. It is the easiest way to avoid talking to you.
Or perhaps she’s mad at someone else and is showing it out on you or she just doesn’t see the point of being nice to you anymore because she has found someone else. She may also be feeling guilty and wants to avoid (any) conversation with you.
If this is how you feel, it surely is one of the warning signs you need to sit down and communicate with her. Talk to her about what is going on, without being accusatory or blaming.
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4. She dresses up way more than usual
A classic sign of a woman in love with another man is her newfound love to look good all the time. An extra attention to her grooming, more shopping and sudden interest in maintaining herself will catch your attention if you observe.
If your wife is interested in another man, she will dress up a lot more than she used to because she wants to impress him.
Do you remember how you used to take extra care of your appearance when you were trying to woo her? Same principle applies, the zeal to look great generally shows the need to impress someone.
If she has changed her dressing sense, wears a lot of revealing clothes, got a new haircut recently, and has suddenly started going out a lot, then all these are signs your wife could be having an affair with someone else.
And let me break some sad news. She won’t dress up when she is going out with you.
This shows her little to no effort in trying to look good for her husband. You don’t have to feel guilty for bringing this up with her. Only when you communicate regarding this, will you be able to move on from this rough patch.
5. She makes you feel insecure
For lasting, happy and supportive relationships, a belief in each other’s attachment seccurity is a must1.
People who love their partners always make sure that their spouse feels secure and safe in the marriage. They deliberately take steps to enhance relationship viability and satisfaction.
Positive enforcements, encouragement during tough times, compliments etc. all encourage relationship satisfaction.
But when your wife is obsessed with another man, she will deliberately make you feel insecure by pointing out your weaknesses and vulnerabilities. She will keep comparing you to other men who look better than you or earn more than you.
Insecurity is one of the most important reasons why most married couples fight. If not controlled right away, it may lead to greater problems like trust issues, resentment, and developing hatred toward your partner.
On the other hand, if your wife compares you to some other guy who she is secretly having an affair with, you need to stand up and confront her about this.
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6. She has made new friends
Earlier you and your wife used to have mutual friends. But things have changed now. Your wife suddenly has made new friends and she loves to hangout with them regularly.
If you have never met these new friends, then ask her if you can tag along with her for an outing.
If she refuses to introduce you to them, it’s one of the glaring signs your wife may leave you for another man.
Jake, a 37-year-old mechanical engineer, shares a story with us, “I knew my wife was having an affair when she suddenly started meeting her “old friends” from her hometown. I waited 3 months for this nonsense to continue just to see how far she can push this drama. I didn’t want to waste my time anymore so I ditched her.”
As a couple, you do not just share a life together but also friends. A partner who is seeing someone out of the relationship will eventually have someone in their life you know nothing about.
Whether its that colleague from her office, or a distant relative suddenly in the picture, your exclusion should be a cause of worry.
7. She has stopped saying ‘I love you’
If your wife has stopped saying those magic words, it’s because she genuinely has fallen out of love or that love has disappeared somewhere and needs to be revived.
If your wife has stopped using love languages to make you feel loved, that’s also one of the warning signs she is in love with someone else. A happily married woman in love with her husband will make sure she gives all her love to the love of her life.
When asked on Reddit what are the signs your wife has stopped loving you, a user replied, “She stopped saying ‘I love you.’ She’d only say it as a kind of joke, like if I messed something up, ‘I love you, but look at how you made the bed.’ She started exploring things that had nothing to do with me. She started saying ‘you’ or ‘me’ instead of ‘us.’ I found out later that she was in contact with her ex again.”
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8. The wedding ring is missing
It’s seriously a concern if your wife has suddenly stopped wedding her wedding ring because they symbolize your union, love, and commitment toward each other.
Her decision to remove the wedding ring itself is symbolic. It is a representation of her love slowly dying for her husband and it is one of the warning signs wife likes another man.
When someone shared on Reddit that their wife has stopped wearing her wedding ring, a user replied, “If she wears other rings but not her wedding ring, that is cause for concern. Going out and not wearing the ring is cause for concern. The best answer is direct communication. Taking your own ring off doesn’t help. And by direct communication, I don’t mean just asking why or trying to tell her what to do. Tell her straight up that it hurts you that she doesn’t wear it. Ask if she’ll consider something else.”
9. She avoids eye contact
It is either intentional or unintentional. If it has happened just a couple of times, then you have nothing to worry about. But if your wife constantly avoids eye contact, it’s one of the sad truths that your relationship is doomed.
Research has it that eye contact makes a relationship stronger and deeper. But if your wife consciously does not look at you even during a conversation, it simply means she is not interested in you anymore. She has lost i
You have to move heaven and earth to fix things. Don’t just assume you have done nothing wrong. It is possible she has felt neglected by you and now fulfils her emotional needs from someone else. An open and honest conversation is the need of the moment.
There are other body language signs that indicate your marriage is in trouble. The signs include:
- Your wife doesn’t hug you anymore
- Her eyebrows furrow whenever you are trying to explain something
- She rolls her eyes at everything you say
- She smirks at you in a condescending manner
10. The phone is all that is important
How a person takes care of their cell phone reveals a lot about their situation. Has she been spending too much time in the bathroom lately?
Is the phone your wife’s most prized possession as of now? Is your wife’s phone always out of bounds for you? See if you have noticed the below signs-
- Speaking in muffled voices
- Leaving the room when she gets a call
- Her phone is always on silent mode
- She receives text messages at odd hours
- You often notice her taking the phone in the bathroom
- The phone is never left in general view
- She always keeps her phone screen down
Married couples don’t really have a problem sharing their passcodes with each other. On the contrary, if your wife is texting another guy and hiding it, she will make sure she keeps everything locked. She surely has something on her phone that she is hiding from you.
From her gallery to her instant messengers, all her apps will be password protected. This is one of the signs your wife is not being loyal.
11. She looks happy when she sees a certain person
If there is a specific coworker she went on a business trip with or a mutual friend she seems to be becoming close with, then her mood will instantly lighten when she sees them.
She will act differently around a specific person, she will try to make him laugh, and most importantly, she will blush in front of him. She may just be showering too much attention on someone specific.
The vibe of infidelity is always strong. It’s as if you can smell your spouse’s attraction for someone else.
So don’t turn a blind eye to these signs and think that your wife is just being friendly with another man. She could be on the verge of cheating on you with him.
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12. She isn’t interested in sex
Sex is an important aspect of a relationship. A married woman likes to satisfy her husband and vice versa. A married woman in love will want to be physically intimate with her partner because it helps in strengthening the marriage.
It’s sort of a bonding factor that fosters trust between couples. Even research has found that sexual satisfaction is directly proportional to having a healthy married life.
If you are engaging in sexual activities regularly, then you have nothing to worry about (mostly).
But if your wife is obsessed with another man, she may not be sexually attracted to you sexually/ She fantasizes him and will try to avoid sexual intimacy with you as much as she can. She will give all sorts of excuses to not spend the night together.
13. There is no emotional intimacy anymore
Studies have even found that emotional accessibility of a partner could be more important than sexual intimacy for long-term relationships. When either partner does not feel validated or finds it hard to open up about how they feel, trouble starts to brew in their relationship.
Marriage is a series of peaks and valleys. You are not always going to feel close and connected. You may get bored of each other once in a while.
You may even feel like your partner doesn’t understand you anymore. This is where married women and men need to come out of their stagnancy and make the marriage work by reviving their romance.
When a married woman is interested in someone else, she will be emotionally vulnerable with them. When your wife confides in another man, she does not see much value in investing time with you.
Signs of emotional detachment will start to surface in your marriage, with your wife just carrying her daily duties and chores without as much as sharing a meme with you.
She feels seen and heard by this special person, and finds in him a meaningful connect where she can discuss her fears. It is this vulnerability with the other man that further creates scope of physical intimacy if the affair continues.
14. The more you ask, the more she lies
One of the signs your partner is falling for someone else is when lies start to characterize your relationship.
You notice that she wasn’t home this afternoon and when you ask, she says she was out on lunch with a friend. But you know from somewhere that ‘friend’ isn’t even in town. You just don’t know why is your wife, who love(d) you, is lying to you.
If you probe further, she lies more and a simple conversation becomes a huge conflict. Lying in a relationship is always a problem.
How do you know if your wife is interested in another man? It starts from white lies that seem trivial at first, assuming the role of bigger, blatant lies. We all lie to our partners at some point, but when the lies get bigger, they lead to lower relationship satisfaction, as per this research.
Eventually, your relationship is just a lie with minimal trust. And trust us, trust issues are the first breaking points of any relationship or a marriage.
Not just that, it keeps on getting complicated with each lie.. Furthermore, she will get defensive and she will try to prove her lies and try to manipulate you by crying, yelling, or stonewalling you.
Don’t fall for all this. If your wife loves you, she will never lie to you about anything except silly things that don’t threaten the foundations of a marriage.
Additionally, if the lie is as big as a mountain, you need to start considering marriage counseling. If even that doesn’t work, you need to prioritize your mental well-being and walk away from the marriage.
15. Contrarily, she will accuse you of having an affair
What does a cheater do when they are confronted? They resort to false accusations.
She probably does not distrust you or suspect you of cheating, but still accuses you of being unfaithful in the marriage. The particular reason is this: she wants to turn it around on you.
- You were not investing emotionally in her, that is why she strayed
- You were not having enough sex because you were getting it somewhere else, so she’s decided to fulfil her needs as well
- Because you were spending so much time with Lynn talking about the new project, so she also sought someone in her life
She is feeling guilty about her own actions and is projecting her guilt onto you. Even highly trained relationship coaches have confirmed that by doing so she is just projecting her own guilt and shame onto you.
When asked on Reddit why some people accuse their partner of infidelity, a user replied, “Usually, when someone accuses the other of cheating out of nowhere, it’s because they are probably cheating. Just because she apparently abhors infidelity doesn’t mean that she can’t succumb to it either.”
Key Takeaways
- A married woman can get attracted to another man, it is common and reasons can be many
- A woman interested in another man will always give out subtle cues
- Changes in her behavior, in how she treats you and other family members are often the first signs of a woman who likes a man outside her marriage
- Though she and her phone would seem inseparable, your calls and texts would mostly be answered with monosyllables or not at all
- If you suspect she likes someone else, the best course of action would be to communicate with her
These are all the major signs of a woman in love with another man.. Either get out while the damage is low or work it out as a couple.
Continuing on this path will do more harm than good because you can’t be the only one trying to fix things by putting in all the effort and trying to keep her happy. She has to do her share of work to make the marriage survive. Otherwise, you have reached a dead-end.