21 Soul-Crushing Signs Your Crush Doesn’t Like You Back

I had a crush on someone for the longest time. Whenever we would meet, I would stare at him as if it was the end of the world. All sunshine and rainbows, the world would seem a better place the instant I would see my crush.

My eyes would dart toward him in an attempt to find out if he thinks of me the same way. All I wanted to know if if my crush liked me back as much as I adored him.

I tried to decode his demeanor, behavior, and gestures. I am sure you’ve done this too. In my quest, sadly, I ended up discovering all the excruciating signs your crush doesn’t like you back. 

The pain can be too much to bear but it’s okay. Philosophers and writers have always called the pain of unrequited love as “a source of growth”. It’s beautiful and painful at the same time. It’s time you stop with all the romantic idealization of your crush and take a look at the signs your crush is not interested in you. 

How Do You Know That Your Crush Doesn’t Like You 

Joey from the cult-classic show FRIENDS experienced unrequited love. He had a huge crush on Rachel who didn’t like him back that way. Of course, they remained friends and it didn’t hinder their friendship.

He took this rejection positively and moved on in his life. But first, let’s analyze if you have spotted all the below-mentioned signs your crush does not feel the same way as you:

1. They won’t be enthusiastic around you

One of the first and most obvious signs your crush doesn’t like you is when they don’t seem to enjoy your presence. They will be in their own world talking to their friends. They will barely talk to you and the moment the conversation ends, they will be thankful. They won’t be interested in reviving your little tête-á-tête! 

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2. They don’t open up 

You just know their basic details like their name, where they grew up, and what they do for a living. That’s it. Besides that, you are clueless.

Are they a single child? How many healthy relationships have they been in? What was their childhood like? Are you having meaningful conversations with them?

They won’t share personal stuff with you because they don’t feel the need to be vulnerable with you. Even if they are having a bad day, they won’t vent about it to you, but will look for someone else to actually talk with. This is one of the common signs your crush is not interested in you. 

3. They don’t follow you on social media 

You can know your crush doesn’t like you even without talking to them. How? By monitoring their social media behavior.

Do they follow you anywhere? If yes, then are they liking or commenting on your pictures and Instagram stories?

No? Then it’s clear that they don’t like you and don’t really care about what’s going on in your personal life. Simply put, they do not find you interesting enough to follow or comment on your pictures or posts.

Any typical person who likes you would be all over your social media platforms trying to find out clues about your love life. 

4. They take longer than ever to reply 

You messaged them in the morning and you got a reply late in the night. Nobody is that busy. It is just a matter of priorities. You don’t matter to them much and that’s why the late response.

This is a clear example of how they treat you is how they feel about you. They see you as just a friend and there is little to no chance of you having a romantic relationship with them down the lane. This is one of the obvious signs your crush doesn’t like you over text. 

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5. Their body language says so

You drop subtle hints through your body language that you like them. What do you get in return? Their negative body language like:

• Crossed arms 
• Rolling their eyes
• Sighing when you speak 
• Looking at their watch frequently 
• Avoiding eye contact 
• Tightly clenched fists 
• Friendly physical touch 

Even if they subtly touch you, it’s not out of affection, desire, or lust. It could be because of a long-standing friendship or any kind of acquaintance with them.

These are some of the body language signs your crush doesn’t like you back. You will soon start feeling it in your gut that this person doesn’t like you and that’s okay. That’s their choice. 

6. You are in the friend zone 

The second most dangerous “F” word, right? The “friend zone” refers to a situation where your crush just refers to you as a friend. That’s it. Nothing more than friends. This is one of the signs your romantic interest doesn’t want a relationship with you. 

Here are some signs that your crush has friend-zoned you:

• They take you for granted 
• They never do what you want to do 
• You’re the only one compromising 
• They try to set you up with their friend 
• They try to deflect your romantic feelings 

“The first step is to accept it – not superficially but accept it really deeply into your heart. I know it sounds cliche, but it’s true. Then, focus on other things in your life”, writes a Quora user for those who are stuck in the friend zone. 

7. They snooze off when you’re talking 

They aren’t paying attention to a word you are saying. In fact, they don’t care what your boss said or why you chose to stay in last weekend. It’s quite evident that your crush ignores you and doesn’t care about anything that’s happening in your life.

They don’t want to have an emotional connection or build a romantic friendship with you. This shows how much you matter to him. It’s one of the clear signs your crush doesn’t like you back. 

8. They don’t like spending time with you 

If they actively avoid spending time with you, it’s because they don’t want to. Their intentions convey their feelings. Why would they spend time with someone they don’t want to pursue a romantic relationship with?

Of course, they will spend time with you along with mutual friends. However, when it comes to spending alone time with you, they won’t like it. They will avoid it as much as they can. 

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9. They are dating someone else 

This is a biggie! The most gut-wrenching thing has happened to you. You like someone but they like someone else. They could also be going on multiple dates seeking a romantic partner.

This shows that they don’t have any deeper emotions toward you. You can date whoever you want and they won’t bat an eye. 

10. They forget your special days 

They won’t remember your birthdays and other special events. When you like someone, you put an effort into remembering such tiny details to make them happy. That’s how to tell if someone likes you.

But if your crush isn’t doing that, it’s because they are not on the same page as you. On the contrary, you will remember every little detail about their private life. 

11. They treat you the same as everyone else

Your crush acts like they do in front of everyone else. No special treatment whatsoever. Here are some ways to determine if you are just another person in their life:

• They talk to you the way they talk to their friends
• They don’t drop any subtle hints that they like you in a romantic way
• They won’t entertain you when you try to talk about their love life
• They will draw a boundary with you just like they’ve drawn with all their friends

12. They don’t care about you 

I mean.. of course, they will care about your emotional and physical well-being but they won’t show genuine concern about other things like:

• Who you date
• What you post on social media
• What you want to do with your life
• Which food you like 
• What kind of shows you like to watch 

They won’t be interested in finding out what you like in a partner or if you are already seeing someone else. They will show a general lack of interest in your life. 

13. They don’t buy you presents

When you like someone, you want to make them feel special. You buy memorable gifts for them, you try to crack jokes to make them laugh, and sometimes you even go to the extent of cooking for them.

But your crush who doesn’t like you back won’t do any of these things for you. They won’t try to make you feel loved, special or valued. This is one of the important signs your crush doesn’t like you back. 

14. They won’t touch you romantically 

Forget about warm embraces and hand-holding, a crush who doesn’t like you back won’t even romantically touch you. They will touch you accidentally but it will never be intentional. It will just be a fleeting touch and it won’t instill any feelings inside him.

Sense their lack of curiosity toward you and walk away from them. If they realize that they have made a mistake in ignoring your feelings, then they will reach out to you. Till then, focus on self-love. 

15. They are not jealous when you mention dating other people 

Healthy jealousy is normal in romantic dynamics. You get jealous when someone you like shows interest in other people.

However, if your crush turns a blind eye to your dating life, it’s because they have better things to do in life. They don’t have romantic feelings for you. In fact, they will maintain physical and emotional distance from you. 

Related Reading: What Does It Mean If A Girl Calls You Bro – 11 Possible Meanings And What To Do

16. You’re the one planning all the meet-ups 

According to relationship experts, when you have a crush on someone, you want to hang out with them all the time. You want to ask them personal questions about their love life while trying to ignite strong romantic feelings for you. This won’t happen because your crush avoids you daily.

They are showing very little interest in you. You are the one texting them first and asking them to hang out with you. There is a possibility of you looking desperate in this situation. So, take a step back and don’t force them to meet you. 

17. They don’t compliment you 

When I have a crush on someone, I become very poetic and use words like mesmerizing, magnetic, and charming to describe their personality and physical appearance.

On the contrary, if your crush never compliments you, it’s one of the signs they want to maintain a healthy friendship with you. They don’t want to give you any mixed signals that will make you think that they like you. 

“They don’t pay attention to you or compliment you. They don’t notice when you change your hairstyle, wear a new outfit, or do something awesome. They don’t say anything nice about you or your personality”, writes a Quora user on one of the most important signs your crush doesn’t like you back. 

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18. They call you only when they need you 

Some would say this is selfish and yes. This is true in this case. They won’t think about you otherwise. They will hit you up when they want something from you. For example, you are good at math and they have a project coming up.

They are weak in this subject so they ask you for help. This is friendship based on convenience. If you are falling head over heels in love with this person, you need to stop it right now. They are using you for their benefit.

19. They ask you to set them up on dates 

Heartbreaking, isn’t it? But this happens a lot.

Read about this Quora user’s story, “I had a huge crush on a guy for a very long time and he even knew about it but owing to the circumstances we couldn’t really date or anything so once, while we were on a call, he did ask me to set him up with a mutual friend who was one of my best friends. it did feel weird and unsettling.

“I just made him understand that it’s best if we save our friendship.” Similarly, if your crush also asks you to set them up on dates, it’s one of the other signs they don’t like you back. 

20. They don’t notice your absence 

Both of you have a good social life. You party often and you have a lot of friends. You miss your crush when they aren’t around. But is it the same for them? If they don’t even ask around why you weren’t at the party last night, it shows their lack of interest in you and it’s not a good sign. It won’t work even if you try to pull away to make them want you.

21. They are cold toward you 

Some people are rude to others but extremely sweet to their partners. So, if your crush is mean and gives you that devilish smile, it is one of the obvious signs they don’t want you in their life.

If your crush likes you, they would have told you so by now. Their cold nature is a sign of their disinterest. Avoid them just like they avoid you.  

Here are some crucial signs your crush is being cold toward you:

• They aren’t empathetic 
• They are emotionally unavailable 
• They avoid any kind of commitment 
• They rarely apologize when they hurt you
• They keep you at an arm’s length 

These are all the signs your crush doesn’t like you back. But don’t worry. It may seem like a big deal but your life doesn’t stop there. Don’t let this affect your self-worth. Read along and find out what you can do about it.

What Can You Do If Your Crush Doesn’t Like You Back 

You have spotted all the bad signs your crush doesn’t have feelings for you. It’s the worst feeling in the world. You have wishful thinking that they will have a change of heart soon but that’s probably never going to happen. Here’s what you can do to get over your crush:

• Acceptance: The first step is accepting the reality that your crush doesn’t share the same romantic feelings. They are entitled to their feelings and you can’t force them to like you back. Don’t keep thinking about your crush’s eyes and think about moving forward 
• Maintain friendship: Try to value the friendship and maintain it without expecting it to evolve romantically. You can do so by focusing on the positive aspects of the relationship and cherishing the bond you share
• Create space: If being around your crush becomes emotionally challenging, it’s okay to create some space. This doesn’t mean completely cutting ties, but allowing yourself time and distance to heal and gain perspective
• Explore other connections: Keep an open mind to meeting new people and exploring other romantic possibilities. Don’t think that just because one person said no doesn’t mean all doors are closed for you. The right person is still seeking you out. Learn some Tinder icebreakers and explore the world of online dating
• Self-reflection: Take this time for self-reflection and self-care. Understand your own desires and priorities. Also, use this experience as an opportunity for personal growth and discovering more about yourself

Just because a person doesn’t feel the way you want them to, doesn’t mean you will lose hope in love. Meanwhile, don’t start hating your crush. They are entitled to their feelings just as you are. Stay positive and you will find the one you are looking for.  

Human relationships are complex and you can’t expect other people to share the same feelings as you do. Talk to your friends about your heartbreak or confide in someone you trust about your feelings. Lastly, believe in the power of time. As days pass by, the intensity of your feelings will lessen. You won’t feel so strongly about them as you do now. Have faith in yourself and stay strong.