The inevitable has happened. You’ve broken up with someone you thought was the love of your life and now you can’t seem to forget about them. Are you noticing some signs you are wasting your time trying to get your ex back but still turning a blind eye because you can’t let them go? If you are going through the same issues, you are going to have a very difficult time to heal from this breakup.

Honestly, I understand your dilemma. I once waited three years for my ex to come back only to be met with disappointment in the end. It did nothing good. In fact, it only made the healing process slower and more agonizing.

And truth be told, I hate my ex for wasting my time as that person was never clear about his feelings. That’s why I am here to tell you about all the signs your ex is taking advantage of you by keeping you hanging. 

11 Signs You Should Stop Wasting Your Time Trying To Get Your Ex Back 

When you go through a breakup, it’s always the good things that you reminisce about and this can really affect your emotional well-being. You must come to terms with the fact that your relationship is over and move on for your own betterment.

Your ex is just keeping you as an option just in case they don’t find anyone better than you. Yes, humans can be vicious like that. Here are some concrete signs your ex is gone forever:

1. They strictly adhere to the no-contact rule 

One of the biggest signs your ex never loved you is when there is radio silence from their end. Not even a curtsy, “Hope you’re doing well” message.

This shows that they are busy in their own life and don’t care about how you are processing the breakup. They don’t want to fix things and they certainly don’t want to do anything with you. 

It’s even more heartbreaking when they don’t respond to your messages even after knowing how much you hate being ignored. When you are in such a situation, it is bound to take a toll on your mental health. 

Here’s what you can do about it:

  • If there is a no-contact rule established, follow it just as religiously as your ex is following 
  • Don’t text more than once. If they reply after a day or two, take your own time to respond  
  • Don’t plead or beg them to talk to you
  • Don’t send abusive or hurtful text messages when your ex ignores your text messages 

Many people type offensive messages when they are angry and send them to their exes just to hurt them. You are better than that. So, don’t waste your time on someone who doesn’t value you. 

You May Also Like: How To Stop Thinking About Your Ex — 13 Practical Tips

2. They reject your friendship proposal 

“Let’s remain friends” is the most common way to make a breakup amicable. You can’t immediately cut ties off with someone you’ve spent so much time with. So, you offer your friendship. In most cases, exes accept to be friend-zoned.

But when they don’t, it’s one of the clear signs you will never get back together. Don’t waste time waiting for them to come back.

They have outgrown their romantic feelings for you and they don’t want you wasting time when you can focus on better things like your career and work life. Even your ex wants to see you moving forward in life. 

Here’s what you can do about it:

If your ex rejected your friendship offer, don’t let it affect your self-esteem. It’s good that they aren’t giving you any false hopes of getting back together.

At least they aren’t promising you things that they can’t give you. That’s mature behavior on their part. So, respect their decision and know they aren’t worth waiting for. You deserve someone better. 

3. You’re blocked from everywhere 

Instagram, Facebook, Snapchat, WhatsApp, and every other app that exists. It’s like they have blocked you from every source of communication. This is when you should give up trying to get your ex back because they don’t want you to see what’s happening in their life.

Plus, it’s not just you who has been blocked but also your close friends and family members who have been removed from your ex’s social media accounts. This is not a positive sign.

You are no longer in a committed relationship and your ex can do whatever they want. This is one of the signs you should not get back with your ex. 

Here’s what you can do about it:

First things first, do not stalk them by creating a fake account. Understand that there’s a reason why you are blocked from everywhere.

Perhaps they are living a good life which they don’t want you to know about and feel bad for. It’s time you have some self-respect and give up trying to get your back. 

You May Also Like: 18 Devastating Signs He Will Never Come Back And What To Do 

4. Your ex isn’t putting any effort into reconciling 

It takes two people’s effort, love, and a sincere intention to clear up misunderstandings to get back together.

When you are the only one texting your ex, calling them up in the middle of the night to sort out the problems, and giving justifications for your behavior, it’s among the evident signs your ex is gone forever.

They have lost all interest in you. That’s why they aren’t putting in any effort to reconcile. That’s not what happens in healthy relationships. You need someone who values and respects you. 

Here’s what you can do about it: 

Realize that you can’t control your ex’s actions or feelings. If they don’t want to be with you, that’s their choice. You can either accept it and move on or be a rebel about it and create problems in their life.

Any sane person would choose the first option because who wants to be with a person who won’t lift a finger to make their partner feel loved? That’s right. Nobody. 

signs he wants you but is holding back

5. They have different life and relationship goals

You are nowhere in their life now and they see a better future without you. Your ex is saying they want to change their career and a girlfriend will just distract them.

This wasn’t their goal before but now they are quite serious about it. This is one of the obvious signs you are wasting your time trying to get your ex back. 

And even if you get back together, it will be one of the most toxic relationships of your life as you aren’t compatible anymore as they want different things from life. 

Jenny, a 34-year-old nutritionist from New York, writes, “I hate my ex for wasting my time. He never talked about moving to a different city when we started dating.

After three years of being in a relationship, he suddenly decided he wanted to move away from the hustle and bustle of the city. He broke up with me because I have different life goals.” 

Here’s what you can do about it:

You tried to find a common ground between the two of you but you couldn’t. So your ex decided to part ways. It’s okay. This happens in many relationships. Here’s what you can do in such situations: 

  • Focus on having a better future 
  • Work hard to achieve all your dreams and goals 
  • Spend time with yourself and enjoy your own company 
  • Practice self-love, self-care, and self-improvement  

It can be hard to resist thinking about the old memories but that’s one of the mistakes you need to avoid. Try making progress by letting go of the hurt and bitter feelings. 

6. You hear gossip that they are in a new relationship 

When should you give up trying to get your ex back? When the gossip train arrives and it carries some juicy news about your ex. You suddenly find out that your ex is already in a rebound relationship.

Don’t waste your time on someone who doesn’t love you. One of the signs your ex is gone forever is when they’ve lost feelings for you and they’ve taken all the steps to move on from this breakup. If they still had feelings for you, it’s getting replaced by new feelings for someone else now. 

Here’s what you can do about it:

  • When you find out your ex is with someone else now, it can give rise to a lot of unwanted emotions like anger, betrayal, and fear of missing out. Allow yourself to feel all the emotions 
  • Just don’t sulk in them. Don’t let these emotions walk all over you 
  • Maintain your self-respect and avoid the urge to compare yourself with their new partner 
  • Seek support from friends and family members 

Don’t care about what’s going on in your ex’s mind and why they made a hasty decision to move forward so quickly. Instead, try spending time alone before you jump into a new relationship. This will give you time to fall in love with yourself first.

You May Also Like: 17 Signs Your Ex Is Leaving The Door Open For Reconciliation

7. Your mutual friends ask you to move on 

One of the clear signs you are wasting your time trying to get your ex back is when your mutual friends ask you to move on. They’ve heard something and that’s why they are asking you to move on.

Of course, they would want the best for you and hence their concern is clear. Perhaps they’ve seen how close your ex-boyfriend or girlfriend is getting to their new partner.

Maybe they are already in an exclusive relationship and are introducing each other to their family. They must have noticed something and that’s why they are worried about you being stuck in the same position. 

Here’s what you can do about it:

  • Don’t hate your friends for saying something that’s against your wishes. Trust them as they mean well
  • Try meditation or other mindfulness techniques to help you heal from this 
  • View your situation from a third person’s point of view and you will understand why they are so worried about you

If your friends have repeatedly mentioned that you deserve better or need to move on, it’s because they know something that you don’t. Trust them. 

he texted me everyday then stopped
Image by shurkin_son on Freepik

8. Your personal growth is stunted 

One of the signs you should not get back with your ex is when you notice how weak you’ve become since the inception of this relationship. It’s like you aren’t doing anything to get out of this situation and your personal growth has ceased.

The fact that you are ready to embrace a toxic relationship says a lot about your growth.

Would you let something like this happen to your best friend? Would you be okay if they were in this crazy on-off relationship with someone?

I am sure you wouldn’t because it’s not appropriate. It’s heartbreaking. Think of yourself as your best friend and give up trying to connect with your ex

Here’s what you can do about it:

  • Stop liking sad social media posts and get back on your feet 
  • You deserve to be with someone who won’t play push-and-pull games with you 
  • They are enjoying life. You should too 

Draw clear boundaries with your ex. Don’t even text or call them on special occasions. Let them think that you’ve moved on. 

9. You are more in love with the past than the present 

It’s not your ex that you are in love with. It’s the happy times the two of you shared. You are experiencing feelings of nostalgia and attachment toward the past. This is one of the signs it’s too late to get her back. 

Your ex-partner meant a lot to you and there’s nothing strange about it. But you can’t keep dwelling on the past as it will affect your future relationships. This can hinder your ability to move forward and embrace new love. 

Here’s what you can do about it:

Once you’ve healed post-breakup, meet new people. You can also sign up on dating apps or ask your friends to set you up with someone. This is the best idea anyone can ever give you. If your ex can move on, you can too. 

You May Also Like: 13 Obvious Yet Subtle Signs He Wants You To Stop Texting Him

10. They refuse to accept their past mistakes 

Did they cheat on you? Did your ex fail to make you feel like a priority in their life? If they are the reason for the breakup, then they must accept their mistakes so you can have closure and move on.

The fact that they are blind about it says a lot about their emotional maturity and it’s one among the signs your ex is taking advantage of you. 

Here’s what you can do about it:

  • Try to communicate why they need to accept their mistakes. Use “I” statements to express your feelings 
  • If they don’t want to give you closure, don’t beg them. You can seek it on your own by reflecting on your feelings and experiences 
  • Take this as a learning opportunity 

Understand that you cannot control your ex’s actions. You can’t force them to accept their mistakes. You can apologize for hurting them if that’s what will help you move on. There’s no harm in that. You are just going to show that you are a bigger person. 

11. You still aren’t able to trust them 

If you still cannot trust your partner after an incidence of emotional or physical infidelity, it’s one of the signs you will never get back together. Trust is an important component of healthy relationships.

You feel comfortable and safe with a partner only when mutual trust is present. That’s when you gain confidence that they won’t break your heart. 

It will be difficult for you to establish a healthy relationship with someone you don’t trust. You cannot be a couple, but you may stay friends.

Also, your sanity will be lost owing to your constant suspicion. Despite being in a romantic relationship, all you will experience in the end is depression and loneliness.

Here’s what you can do about it:

  • Ask your ex-partner if they are giving you false hopes by promises of getting back together 
  • Don’t trust their response. Go with your intuition
  • Take a step back if your strong gut feeling says they are not going to stick to their words

It’s always a bad sign to get back together after betrayal. That’s why you must learn to trust yourself more than anyone else. You are strong enough to heal and move on.

Key Takeaways 

  • Breakups can be painful and they can make you want to crawl back to your ex
  • Avoid doing this as it will undermine your self-respect 
  • The fact that your ex is already in a happy rebound relationship speaks volumes about where you stand in their life
  • Some more signs you are wasting your time trying to get your ex back include your ex-partner ignoring you, his disregard for you, and his way of badmouthing you

You need to accept that your ex doesn’t love you anymore if you want to move on and have healthy relationships in the future.

Once you accept that this partnership is no more, focus on healing and letting go of grudges.

Lastly, don’t ever forget that you deserve to be with someone who loves, values, and respects you for who you are and that moving on from a past relationship opens the door to new opportunities for growth and love.