If you suspect a woman is testing you, there’s a good chance your hunch is correct. There is no foolproof way to tell if a girl likes you, but if she seems to be interested at times and suddenly shuts you off, you are left confused. You can assume there is more than what you can see, and you are trying to read between the lines.

And here you are, looking for the signs she is testing your patience to determine if you’re genuinely boyfriend material in her eyes.

As a woman, I sometimes catch myself testing men I’m interested in. It’s my way of peeking beneath the surface to see if a promising connection can withstand stress. I may poke at his self-assurance or push his limits just enough to reveal his true colors. My friend Natalia will pretend to ignore texts from new suitors, act uninterested, and play hard, checking that they still persevere in pursuing her.

These “tests” intend no ill will. Rather, they help us gauge if a man will remain secure and unflappable when the sailing gets rough. I once dated Evan, who kept his cool no matter what despite my mixed signals, proving his inner strength. He happens to tell me that he reads this Reddit thread to understand these tests “Insights into the nature of women’s tests”

You see, when I test a man, it means I’m considering him more than a casual fling. I’m evaluating whether he could be a rock through life’s challenges if we got serious down the road. 

So if you feel you’re being tested, recognize that interest, and underneath, she sees you as relationship material and wants to be sure before advancing further. As one Reddit thread put it, “When women test you, they are providing you with an opportunity for you to prove yourself.”

I have listed some signs she is testing your patience in this post. Check them out! But first, let’s figure why, us, women, tend to test the men we like. 

Why Do Girls Test Their Men?

Research shows that most women often employ various “tests” on their romantic or potential partners, especially after an initial period of building intimacy and trust in a healthy relationship (P Sorokowski, 2019). There are several key reasons women test men:

  • Assessing commitment: By creating scenarios to gauge their partner’s level of investment and dedication to a serious relationship. This provides reassurance about the relationship’s future
  • Evaluating protectiveness: Tests may evaluate how protective, caring, and willing they are to “be there” for their partner in challenging situations
  • Judging values: Testing compatibility around important values like honesty, integrity, and faithfulness. Ensuring alignment on values reduces the chances of future conflicts
  • Confirming confidence: Tests allow an evaluation of how a partner handles pressure, criticism, and difficult emotions. Self-assured handling demonstrates attractive confidence

Whether it’s her past relationship(s) gone wrong, or her fear of getting heartbroken, a woman testing a man is a positive sign of her interest in him. She wants to gain an insight into your overall personality and determine if you are right for her. Caution has never been a bad thing, has it?

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13 Sly Signs She Is Testing Your Patience

When considering how many women evaluate prospective partners, it is important to distinguish between a woman who is testing a man’s attributes versus a woman who is simply not interested. 

Recognizing the difference is vital because most guys misinterpret disinterest as an opportunity and consequently waste their effort. Provided this distinction is clear, if a woman is genuinely interested, the signs she is testing your patience include:

1. Replying late to your texts

It’s quite common for a woman to delay responding to texts or calls as a means of testing her partner’s reaction. It’s one of the common signs she’s testing you through text. When she spends a long time replying or incoming communication goes unanswered, it is often a purposeful ploy.

If you are wondering if she’s ignoring your texts by not texting back, she probably is. Wondering, ‘is she testing me by not calling’, affirmative. She likely has already seen the message or missed the call but is biding her time when firing back a reply. She might say that she’s busy, but if you see this happening often, know that she’s testing you by ignoring you. 

Why go through the trouble? By not jumping to instantly respond, she can simulate what it would be like if she were less available or eager to talk. It gives her clues as to whether you would perceive her as desperate or clingy if she were to reply right away whenever you reached out.

So, hold onto your text messages if she has not responded and stay calm, giving her a reason to take you seriously.

2. Gauging your thoughtfulness

Most girls and women have a keen eye for detail and observe niceties closely, whether you pick them up or not. Something as trivial as holding open doors, giving up your seat, or lending a coat when she gets cold does not go unnoticed or unappreciated.

Testing your manners serves as a barometer of how thoughtful and selfless you can be in a committed relationship.

She will intentionally orchestrate scenarios to monitor you for consistency between claims and actions when it comes to chivalry or etiquette. Do you actually follow through on gentlemanly gestures, or were your promises to treat her well nothing more than empty words?

Paying attention is a litmus test to compare her expectations to reality when evaluating your sincerity and consideration as a partner.

3. She checks to see if you’ll take her for granted

What seems like an innocent offer to pay her share, such as splitting the dinner bill, may conceal crafty intentions to survey your level of commitment. Especially on a first date, she makes this proposal genuinely out of fairness and equality. In some instances, there are ulterior motives at play to test the relationship dynamic.

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This innocent gesture is one of the signs she’s testing if you will readily accept her subsidizing dating expenses every time or if you double down on covering costs yourself. 

The fear is that over time you may take her monetary contributions for granted, comfortably splitting everything 50-50. Your reaction reveals whether you are firmly rooted in traditionally courting her or if you passively ease into a co-pay arrangement. She learns a lot about your intentions based on whether you take the bait or insist that the gentleman always pays on the first few dates.

Signs she is testing you by pulling away
Image by bearfotos on Freepik

4. Testing your persistence and sincerity

When a woman plays hard to get, it often leaves her partner frustrated and confused. You may be wondering why you cannot seem to break through barriers and convince her of your true feelings.

What lies behind this evasive manoeuvre? She retreats and puts up walls in order to observe just how far you will go to pursue her and if you are truly boyfriend material for her.

How much effort will you pour into the courtship dance before either throwing in the towel or considering her a lost cause? She wants to find that limit – sorting the half-hearted suitors who soon give up from those willing to demonstrate serious long-term interest. 

It assures her that words of affection are more than lip service and flow from genuine care for who she is, not merely attraction. Your reaction helps clarify if emotional maturity is there ad whether you think of a future with her.

In a way, she is also testing whether she’ll meet your passions and interests. It provides certainty that love will stand up to life’s inevitable challenges once the honeymoon phase passes. Only when sufficient time and intentionality confirm your commitment will she be ready to lower those barriers for good and make you a huge part of her life.

5. She will check if she’s a priority

Even the most independent women have moments of physical or emotional need. If she openly asks for your support, seizing on vulnerabilities like sickness or extra burdens at work, it often doubles as an evaluation of reliability in the relationship.

It’s one of the signs she’s testing if you meet her request to cook special foods when ill, fill prescriptions, handle chores if she’s swamped at work, or lend whatever help paves the smoothest road to recovery.

It reveals whether or not she receives higher priority than your other commitments. How quickly do you set personal affairs aside when she leans on your shoulder? Your reaction helps clarify if she comes first when the chips are down.

6. Testing if you understand her interests

Has she been hauling out the same conversational topic ad nauseam lately, seemingly oblivious to boring you with repetition? 

When a woman continues circling back to the same subject again and again, it often constitutes a veiled test to see if you are truly listening and understanding her passions below the surface.

Rather than declaring something explicitly as a request or desire, she drops regular hints to observe if you will pick up on the cues. Frequently emphasizing her need for creative outlets plants seeds to gift art supplies or a painting class membership. 

Paying attention to these patterns demonstrates genuine interest in knowing the real her – not just playing a dating role.

7. Seeing if you’ll stray

Few scenarios prompt greater insecurity than when your girlfriend wants to spend time in tempting surroundings, like a party filled with other gorgeous women. Why would she put herself through such an emotional gauntlet? Believe it or not, she wants to observe you when irresistibly alluring prospects surround you on all sides.

It serves as a test of loyalty under fire—she gets to witness firsthand if your eyes and attention remain centered solely on her or if the head turns when other girls in bikinis strut past. 

Do you gawk in their direction when you think she’s not paying attention? What about body language? Do you position yourself closer to her protectively or drift away subconsciously? The outing reveals whether you project faithfulness, no matter how alluring the eye candy prancing through the vicinity.

She wants assurance that you stand out as a trustworthy life partner able to exercise discretion around sensual temptation. Your conduct, like your posting pictures with her, communicates volumes about whether you take the relationship seriously.

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8. Testing your commitment

When a girlfriend unexpectedly pulls the rug out from under-established plans without a reasonable explanation, it understandably fuels feelings of confusion, hurt, or even outrage. It’s one of the common signs she’s testing you by pulling away

But before expressing indignation, recognize that a cancelled dinner reservation or called-off vacation may constitute a cleverly cloaked opportunity.

Namely, she is testing your devotion and resilience by shaking the foundation to better analyze your response. How far will you go to reschedule missed connections? Do grand but empty gestures like spontaneously purchased bouquets follow or radio silence? Your reaction helps demonstrate commitment and willingness to keep romantic fires kindled no matter disruptions in routine.

With no sensible rationale provided for fractured or future plans, it likely signifies an experiment gauging resilience and creativity and getting a coveted couple’s time back on the calendar. Lean into the challenge for points if your commitment holds steady.

9. She introduces you to her close friends and family

It’s completely understandable to grow nervous upon meeting your significant other’s close friends and family members. After all, these individuals represent prime critics who can make or break momentum in a budding romance based on their first impressions of compatibility.

But rather than fixating on securing their approval, recognize the introduction’s significance runs much deeper. It’s when she is testing your confidence.

She allows this access because her trusted circle’s opinions carry tremendous weight in her decision-making. Beyond just qualifying you as an individual, she is granting them evaluating power over the viability of “us” in the long run.

It represents a testing ground, revealing whether or not she will receive support or pressure when it comes time to escalate commitment after assessing their judgments down the road.

Treat time spent around these VIPs as an open-book test of your sincerity when it comes to demonstrating care and understanding of her needs.

Dig deeper into her values, dreams, and quirks so conversations reflect what is captured in her heart, not just surface-level observations. Displaying initiative to woo her inner circle demonstrates prioritization of her best interests.

she is testing you testing you by ignoring you
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10. Pushes you to the limit

At some point, every romantic partner discovers that behind the cool, fun-loving exterior lurks a hidden agenda and a chaotic force once relationship pressures reach a boiling point.

Unreasonable demands pile up, text message fights ensue over nothing, or threats get made in the heat of the moment that leave both partners questioning if the flame still flickers.

When she unleashes these dysfunctional behaviors, recognize the scenarios have likely been carefully orchestrated to provide glimpses into your resilience, problem-solving skills, and values when harmony gives way to friction. 

How you argue comes under the microscope—can common ground get found or does everything cascade into personal attacks? Do your emotional intelligence and conflict resolution tactics validate her feelings?

She consciously applies these stress tests to evoke reactions revealing maturity levels that support a long and happy relationship together.

11. Discerning serious intent beyond physicality

Physical intimacy can blind partners from evaluating whether a deeper connection exists once that aspect kicks into high gear. Of course, having patience in a new relationship is important.

When your girlfriend refuses to be intimate altogether or pumps the breaks to slow momentum, recognize the likely motives that run deeper than face value and take it as a good sign.

She may be applying the wait-and-see approach intentionally to better analyze your behavior when physical intimacy gets taken off the table. How do conversation qualities, attention to her needs, and displays of selfless caring hold up once sexual activity no longer fuels the fires? 

Partners focused solely on conquests rather than meaningful bonds often bounce at the slightest obstacles between needs being met. Or they may openly display frustration once their physical appetites go unfulfilled. But sincere interest in her well-being ahead of your own cravings will organically cultivate meaningful intimacy when the timing proves right.

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12. Qualifying long-term compatibility

When girlfriends inquire about your life vision, including future goals, deal breakers, and ambitions, it may seem nosy or controlling without proper context. 

However, questions probing your desired career path, financial philosophies, family planning goals, etc. serve important diagnostic purposes for romantic evaluation. This is one of the signs she’s testing long-term compatibility if paths merge into decades and forever commitment.

Can aligned priorities be established around home locations, parenting styles, and recreational habits? Do visions for retirement savings, medical outlooks, and dream home ownership mesh?

Even topics like inheritance wishes, division of household duties, or whether pets join the family all constitute relevant data points. Think deeply about each dimension and respond with transparency.

13. Vetting threats from past relationships

As intimacy emotionally and physically develops, it’s common for women to probe their partner’s romantic histories, seeking any red flags that could undermine present or future happiness.

Have modules of personal growth been developed when past relationships crumbled? For example, did a stubborn streak fuel arguments that remained unaddressed? Alternatively, do unresolved grief stages over ex-girlfriends threaten to resurface and divert energy and emotional channels away from her needs?

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One of the signs she’s testing is to qualitatively evaluate if remnants from your journey to this point, both good and bad, will emerge as threats down the road. Past romantic baggage left unpacked has the potential to trigger unnecessary friction that sinks healthy relationships. 

So she listens closely to understand where healing occurred and hazards got addressed to confidently proceed with an expectation of smooth travels ahead. If you sense landmines that require deeper self-reflection to resolve, honestly communicate efforts underway to strengthen your ability to uphold future commitments.

Signs a woman is attracted to you
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How To Win Her In These Tests?

Now, you might be wondering what to do when someone is testing your patience or when she is testing you. Well, first of all, don’t put undue pressure on yourself in relationships. 

Enjoy the journey of getting to know your partner without unrealistic expectations. Focus on listening and learning about who she is authentically instead of trying to be who you think she wants.

Open communication builds healthy connections. When challenges emerge, meet them with patience and care instead of games or tests. Consider her perspective and speak your truth kindly. Meet discomfort with courage and lead with your heart.

Here are some ways to win her in these tests:

  1. Focus on communication and understanding, not “winning”: Rather than viewing a relationship as a game you need to “win,” focus on open communication, trust, and mutual understanding
  2. Remain patient and calm when challenges arise: When challenges or “tests” arise, remain calm and patiently seek clarification through active listening. Ask thoughtful questions to understand her perspective and empathize with her feelings
  3. Express yourself honestly but respectfully: Express your own thoughts and emotions honestly but respectfully. If certain behaviors make you feel uncomfortable, set boundaries while reassuring her of your care for the relationship
  4. Offer support in vulnerable moments: Support her during vulnerable moments by offering compassion. Be reliable and consistent in your words and actions to build confidence in the relationship over time
  5. Focus on the relationship’s growth: Stay focused on understanding each other better, not proving yourself. With openness, compassion and commitment to the relationship’s growth, you can healthily navigate challenges

Key Takeaways

  • Women often test the men they are dating multiple times to evaluate compatibility and relationship potential before getting more serious. Tests assess commitment, values alignment, protectiveness, and other attributes
  • Recognize that tests are coming from a place of interest; if she’s interested, she sees relationship material in you. Use them as chances to demonstrate positive qualities.
  • Patience, empathy, open communication, and consistency in words and actions are key to building trust and “passing” tests. The goal is growing mutual understanding, not “winning” a game
  • When challenges or tests emerge, remain calm, actively listen, understand her perspective, express yourself respectfully, and reassure her of your care for the relationship. Support her in her vulnerable moments

When women test the men they are dating, it stems from interest and intrigue, evaluating compatibility before advancing the relationship. Are you wondering “Is she testing me by ignoring me”? These subtle signs can help you know the signs she’s testing your patience. By responding with patience, empathy, and commitment to understanding each other, these tests become opportunities to grow in mutual trust and care.