Looking up for the signs he will leave his wife for you comes from a place of uncertainty and insecurity. Love is anything but easy, and often, matters of heart aren’t black or white. You are in love with a married man, and while we are not here judging you, we understand it is not a very happy place to be in.

Loving a man who already has a woman in his life can become quite complicated. Even if you did not think much of it, or were wooed by his charms and impressive demeanor, and you now want to know where this is headed. 

You have felt an intense connection with this man, and you feel incredibly cared for. But is this all just so you stay a mistress or holds a deeper meaning than that? Is he going to leave his wife for you, fulfilling all his claims of being genuinely in love with you? Let’s try to figure out.

What Are The Chances Of A Married Man Leaving His Wife

If research is to be believed, and for the right reasons, only 5% of people who cheat end up marrying their affair partner. Now, that does not mean marriages just keep on surviving infidelity. Infact, the same research concludes that as many as 57% of marriages where one or both partners have been unfaithful end in divorces. 

Yes, statistics corroborate the fact that men are more likely to cheat than women.

So, if you are in love with someone who has cheated on their spouse with you, you are very right being concerned with whether you are just a side-chick, a mistress, or hold a genuine place in his life.

But what are the chances that he will marry his mistress and leave his wife? The numbers may not be encouraging, but if you do notice the below signs he will leave his wife for you, you might as well be that lucky woman who will become the wife.

You May Also Like: He Cheated On His Girlfriend With Me — Does He Love Me?

11 Signs He Will Leave His Wife For You

Do not let the numbers dampen your spirits. Not all extramarital affairs are just physical and leading to nowhere. Not all married men leave their wives, but also, not all affairs with single men also culminate into “I dos”, either.

True love can also happen in extramarital affairs, and if your affair is more than 2 years old, you might be in for a longer association as well. Let’s look at the signs that indicate your affair partner will marry you. 

1. He has been open about your relationship

He is not hiding you. Your number on his phone is not saved like ‘Mike New’. His friends and many family members know about you.

Perhaps you have also met his wife a couple of times, within a formal setting. You don’t always meet behind closed doors, but also frequent popular coffee shops and ice-cream parlors.

Bottom line is- he is open about you being in his life. And that is a great sign of his strong feelings for you. He is not worried about his wife finding out about you. The fact that he is not keeping you a secret is a huge sign he will leave his wife in the coming future.

However, if the wife too has been in a relationship with someone else, or you have come to know that they have an open marriage, this sign may not be read as that strongly.

2. You frequent his social gatherings

A business meeting. A weekend conference. That annual fundraiser. The new charity event. A friend’s wedding. His promotion party. You are there in all his social gatherings. He is not shy to introduce you to his business partners, clients, close friends and colleagues. You are usually his plus-one at the social events he is a part of. 

If this is how you identify your relationship, then you can leave the ‘will he leave his wife if he loves me’ question here and focus more on simply making him see you for your love and devotion toward him.

A man who is in a relationship with you just for physical gratification will never let you be seen with him beyond the bedroom walls.

3. He talks about a future with you

Love without a future may not be very appealing to many people, while love that promises a future fills the heart with gratitude, joy and satisfaction.

Discussing a future with someone comes from a place of security and happiness, and people who have short-term relationship plans rarely talk about what life will be with their SO in a few years from now.

If your questions like “What does our future look like” are answered by your man with conviction and assurance, it speaks volumes of his genuine feelings for you. Your affair partner knows the affair has to end in permanence, like a marriage and does not shy away from talking about it. It is a sign he loves you more than his wife and leaving her is definitely on the cards.

You are usually his plus one
Image by Freepik

4. His availability is not conditional

Most extramarital affairs have set conditions, especially by the married partner. Sailing in two boats is never easy, so the affair partner who is married lays down a lot of conditions such as-

  • Only he can call you
  • You cannot message him when he is home
  • You cannot call him when he is with his family
  • His wife and family always come before you

And so on and so forth.

But if your affair partner has not laid any restrictions on you, and is reachable to you when you want and need him, it is a good sign that indicates you are more special to him than his wife.

It is not only him who chooses when to contact you or where to meet him, but you also get to have a say. He may not be living physically with you, but he will call or text you even when his wife is around. This is a clear sign he may be thinking of ending his marriage soon.

You May Also Like: How He Treats You Is How He Feels About You — Unveiling His True Emotions

5. He spends more time with you than her

Research has proven that couples who spend more time together experience greater relationship satisfaction and greater closeness. 

It has also been observed that spending time with someone you are romantically interested in boosts your mental health and makes you healthy. Such relationships boost the emotional health of the people involved.

Does your married man spend more time with you than with his wife? When he is free, say during weekends or after work, who does he hang with more? If it is you, then be assured your affair partner is serious about you and the chances he will leave his wife for you are quite high.

6. He is always eager to make plans and meet you

You’ve just reached home after a beautiful candle-light romantic dinner and your phone buzzes with a text with him trying to make a plan for the next date.

And no, it’s not a hotel room rendezvous. He simply suggests he will pick you up after work on Tuesday and you both could catch up for some coffee at the new place that recently made the headlines for being the best in town.

There is a sign of a man who would do anything to keep you in his life. And that includes leaving his wife so he can have you without any conditions. 

On the other hand, a man who loves you only for your body, will rarely take you out like this. All he would want is to get the business done and approach you again when the desire strikes.

7. He stays in touch with you even when he is on family duties

Extramarital affairs are usually kept secretive because they break families. A man devoted to his family and committed to his reputation as a ‘family man’ would never risk contacting his muse when he is on family duties.

If your man calls you on and off and keeps you updated about where he is and till when he is away, or what he is doing even when attending to his family duties, be assured he sees you as someone very special.

He thinks about you all the time and feels like it is his moral responsibility to keep you updated. He may be dealing with a medical emergency, or in the middle of a family function, but he never fails to inform you.

Your affair is not ethically acceptable, sure, but it seems that he intends to make you his wife and this shows up in these small acts where he includes you in his happiness, misfortunes and misery.

You May Also Like: 15 Early Signs Of A Good Relationship 

8. He is there for you

You are sick? He shows up with a hot soup takeaway at your door.

You are feeling off because that long-due promotion still did not happen? He sends you flowers and encourages you.

Feeling lost when he is away? A care package with your favorite goodies lands on your door.

All these instances show his genuine love for you, and are signs he is there with you through all your lows. The physical aspect is always there in an extramarital relationship, but if there is also emotional support that you get from this relationship, then surely it is a good sign.

You may be a mistress now, but this man’s concern for you shows you have a good chance to be his wife soon.

9. He has hinted he is in an unhappy marriage

What is the main reason men leave their wives? A study mentions conflict and frequent arguments as one of the main reasons for a divorce. Many women project their own securities and flaws onto their husband by questioning their commitment to them.

When a man does not feel loved, appreciated and cared for, he tends to look for these qualities outside his marriage. 

Have you also felt that your affair partner and his wife get into frequent fights out of nowhere? Do you often feel like their marriage is on the rocks already and the communication has almost broken down? Does he often mention how his wife has made his life miserable?

If your affair partner often shares how his wife keeps nagging or insulting him, it is a sign he is unhappy in his marriage. And if you can sense he wants to do something about it, it might be a good sign he will leave his wife soon.

On the other hand, a man who complains about his wife but does not tolerate anyone else speaking ill about her shows he still loves his wife and you are someone he is using both for physical and emotional support.

10. He is proceeding with his divorce

One of the most promising signs he will leave his wife for you is when he starts to gather information on how to proceed with the divorce, litigation, costs involved, lawyers etc. Initiating a divorce is a decisive action that should cement his love and commitment toward you.

It seems like he is moving forward with his separation and wants to marry you after divorcing his wife. If you find him busy talking about alimony, child support, maintenance etc. to his lawyers or is gathering information on the subjects, he’ll leave his wife soon.

He will leave his wife if he has initiated divorce
Image by Freepik

11. Your gut feeling says he loves you genuinely

All the above signs point to true love, even though in an extramarital affair. Matters of the heart are linked to your instinct- if your gut feeling says he is committed to you and in you he sees the one, then that must be true. 

Real love cannot be hidden, so if your affair partner showers you with not just physical love but also tries to make an emotional connection with you, is vulnerable with and fears losing you, then he will surely leave his wife for you.

The path may not be easy, there will be moments of self-doubt and uncertainties, but if your love is true, it will triumph over all odds.

While we hope your dreams turn to reality and you find someone who loves with all his heart and soul, we have also compiled a list that indicates the signs he loves his wife more than you. In such a case, it is very likely that you will remain a mistress and, only till the time his carnal desires are not satisfied.Go through the below signs carefully to figure out your place in his life.

9 Signs He Will Not Leave His Wife For You

While the above section makes it clear that your married man will leave his wife for you, we have also made a list of signs that indicate he is just using you and has no intention of marrying you at all.

In case these signs characterize your relationship, it is time you think about what you want and proceed accordingly.

If commitment is what you are looking for from this relationship, you will not get it. However, if you are okay with being the mistress and are yourself not wanting to commit, but you do feel loved and cared for, this relationship might work for you. 

Remember, the below signs are indicative of a married man’s lack of commitment to you, not necessarily lack of love.

1. He has many lovers

One of the prime signs you are just another mistress for him is if he has many more ‘interesting’  friends like you. You spot him flirting with women, you can sense he always gets attracted to young women and befriends them. You can feel you are not the only ‘other woman’ in his life. 

In such a case, we strongly advise you to run away from this man and cut off all ties immediately. You surely deserve much, much better.

This May Also Help: Red Flags Revealed: 14 Clear Indications Your Partner Is Seeing Someone Else

2. You meet according to his convenience 

His wife is out of town, so he decides to spend the night with you.

He tells you he has an hour free between his meetings and so will come over to your place. Or he will meet you when his entire family is busy somewhere else.

A man who loves you truly will not meet you only when it is convenient for him. Love does not come with conditions. If it does, it is not true. He does not care for your feelings or needs, and is selfish in nature.

3. He bad mouths about his wife, but never talks about leaving her

If your affair partner often complains about his wife to you or bad mouths about her, but never talks about leaving her, it is a sign he still has feelings for his wife. Their marriage may have hit a rough patch or they may have some issues, but he is only looking for temporary comfort in you, not a lifelong partnership.

Why won’t he leave his wife if he is unhappy? Because it is complicated. There are years of companionship, assets that have been built together, children that have been raised, social standards and that society pressure. He is still invested in his wife, he is still sleeping with her and when he gets bored, he contacts you. 

In affairs such as this, married men use women as a dumping ground for their emotions. They play the victim card, get to your bed, and vroom. This is not something you should get into unless you are also someone who is only looking for temporary hookups.

will he choose his wife over me
Image by Freepik

4. He rarely makes efforts to meet you

A married man using you for your body will not make any effort to meet you, or plan anything for the two of you. He may show up at your door in the middle of the night, in an inebriated state but that is just for sex. 

Your relationship will feel like a one-sided relationship where only you plan dates and meetings, and a majority of them will not make it beyond the watsapp chats because he is always too busy for you.

A man who has no intention of marrying you will not invest his hard-earned money or valuable time on you once he has got what he wanted. Moreover, he will treat you like a tissue paper when he realizes you have developed feelings for him.

5. He has had affairs in the past

You know, or have come to know that you are not his first extramarital affair. He has cheated on his wife in the past as well, and will continue to do so with whoever catches his fancy.

Your affair partner isn’t known to resist temptations! Infact, Infidelity Statistics from Hackspirit state that cheaters have a 350% higher chance of cheating again. That should ring an alarm. 

6. You are his ‘dirty’ secret

Another probable sign you will always remain a mistress to him is when he refuses to be seen with you in public. He never takes you out, and whatever time he spends with you is in some hotel rooms that keep on changing or your home.

Your phone number is saved with an alias, you have rules when you can call him, there are set scripts should your call be received by his wife or other family members.

Being the other woman, you are just his little ‘dirty’ secrets, who has no place in his rather respectable, affluent life. There is no sugarcoating this harsh fact.

Honestly, you deserve genuine love and happiness, and not humiliation and loss of respect. I hope you see your worth soon.

You May Also Like: How To Stop Wanting A Relationship: 15 Strategies For Finding Contentment

7. His wife is always the priority

Your affair may have started on a high note, some flirty exchanges, some passionate nights. He may have even fallen for you, just a little. But, you are always second in line.

One of the clear signs he loves his wife more than you is when you can see how his wife is always the priority for him. We are not saying he does not have feelings for you, perhaps he does, but they are not as strong as for his wife. 

Why make someone a priority in your life when they treat you like a second option? Make the right call.

8. He never seems to take you seriously

Men who have affairs do not think highly of their mistresses’ characters. They tend to downplay women who are having affairs with them, as that is what patriarchy is all about.

And because he does not think highly of you, he will never take you seriously. Your needs and wants will mostly go unnoticed, unless he wants a break from his boring sex life.

Your questions on his intentions will not be answered or dismissed with cross-questions. He does not think you are worth taking seriously.

9. He has told you so

Not once, but he will choose his wife over you every time because he has already told you. You made a fool of yourself thinking you could change his mind, but marriage is not so easy to end.

He will go back to his wife, even though he has just slept with you. He is just having a good time with you, and he has already told you not to expect anything more than that.

He may buy you occasional gifts or pay for your salon treatments, but leaving his wife for you has never been the subject matter. 

Whatever the circumstances that made you fall in love with him, it is time to view your situationship objectively. A wife brings stability, is the mother of his children, is invested in his family and social circles, and it is not easy to leave a spouse even though your affair partner is not completely happy with her. He aims to fill in the gaps by using you, but replacing her is not on the cards. 

Love can come in the most inconvenient situations, but you have to take a call on what you want. If your connection is genuine, love is real and intentions are pure, you may live to be his wife, else, it is best to find someone who can happily flaunt you as the love of his life. Or, if you want to embrace living single, you can do that happily as well.

signs a married man is genuinely in love with you
Image by teksomolika on Freepik

How Long To Wait For A Married Man To Leave His Wife 

The answer is not in definite numbers, but if you have noticed the signs he will leave his wife for you then be a little patient and watch the progress from a little distance.

Give him space, shower him with love and support and keep away from his wife, kids and the rest of his family. 

If he is leaving his wife for you then your support will be paramount for him. If you see things progressing in your favor, then you can give him some due time. Do not give him ultimatums as they usually backfire, creating a lot of pressure for all parties involved.

This May Also Help: 17 Harsh But True Signs He Will Never Marry You

Basis how things are progressive and whether any concrete steps have been taken you can decide on how much time you should give your affair partner to leave his wife. 

It will not be easy, there will be situations when you will feel like “he won’t leave his wife but won’t let me go, either”, and in such times you will need to look at your situation objectively. The ‘will he leave his wife, will he not’ game has to eventually come to a close.

Choose the best that you can for yourself, and while your heart may pull you in one direction, steer yourself in the direction that helps you live better. You deserve to be happy, and owe that much to yourself.

Matters such as these are not in anyone’s control, and if your affair partner loves you truly, he will come to you wherever you are.