A man will tell you he loves you one moment and the next he will act like you are the one who has been chasing him since day one. Perplexing, right? But it could be one of the signs he is testing your loyalty by playing mind games with you. This is what makes human relationships difficult to decode. 

I used to date a man who liked to play mind games a lot. His behavior wasn’t easy to crack at first but later I could sense that he wasn’t being his real self. He would use psychological manipulation tactics to test my loyalty.

He did crazy things and that’s one of the reasons we stopped talking. I realized it much later and that bothered me a lot. Stay with us till the end and find out if your guy is also playing this cruel game. 

11 Signs He Is Testing Your Loyalty — Mind Games Men Play 

Just because you are dating a shy, reserved, or an introverted guy, doesn’t mean he won’t test you. Most men do this consciously or unconsciously with the exception of a few.

They will always leave you feeling confused after a test. That’s why you need to be armed with all the information on when someone is testing your patience, jealousy, loyalty, and your ability to be a good girlfriend so you can win at this game and his heart. 

1. Hot and cold behavior

The hot and cold game is quite common among people who just started dating each other. He will be all over you one minute and act like you don’t even exist the next. Here are some signs of hot and cold behavior from a man:

  • He will frequently text and call you when he feels like it sometimes and other times he’ll take longer than ever to get back to you
  • He will be physically affectionate with you when he is being hot and ignore you when he is cold 
  • He will have serious conversations with you and will be vulnerable when he feels like it but he won’t let out any secrets or insecurities when he doesn’t feel like it

These are some of the signs he’s testing your feelings. If you continue to seek him out without letting his hot and cold game affect you, he’ll know that you are serious about this relationship. 

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2. He will test your patience

In today’s times, our patience has shrunken so much that we can’t even stand slow internet. Imagine the pressure you will be in if a man tests your patience.

It can be frustrating but if you want him in your life, then you have to be patient. Some of the signs he is testing your patience include:

  • Letting you wait by arriving for the date late
  • He’ll use various excuses to cancel plans last minute and act like a flaky person to see how you will react. He will do a loyalty test over text. For example, he will text you that he is busy and can’t make it to dinner. If you block him or abuse him, it’s over from his side 
  • He will ignore your preferences and will try to push you out of your comfort zone
  • He will create unnecessary drama in your life just to see if you are mature enough to handle it

It can be a tricky game to play when someone is testing your patience, especially if you are an impatient person. On the contrary, if this behavior bothers you, call him out right away and put him in his place. 

3. He will ghost you more than once

“Is he testing me by not texting and calling?” Yes. 

The disappearing act will become more frequent when a man is testing your loyalty. It is a tactic to see if you see other men behind his back when he is gone or do you wait for him to come back. 

This is how a guarded man tests you. You will be ghosted often. And if you are already seeing someone when he is ghosting you, he’ll think you aren’t loyal enough. It’s not okay to test the loyalty of your partner this way. 

So, when he ghosts you and comes back again, communicate openly that you don’t like this behavior. 

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4. He will see if you are a gold digger 

When the two of you go on a date, he will wait for you to pay or at least make an offer to split the bill. That’s because he wants to see whether the woman is here for a free meal or for something serious.

He may not pay for dinner all the time and may also not buy you gifts, even if he can afford them. Perhaps his past experience has taught him it’s better to find out beforehand if a woman is in it for the money. 

how a guarded man tests you

5. He will compare you with other women

Another heartbreaking way a man tests a woman is when he compares you to any of ex-girlfriends, friends, or even his mother sometimes.

This mind game helps men to see if a woman will change her ways for them. It can get very difficult to be with a man like that during such situations. Stand your ground and don’t let him treat you like this. 

In fact, this happened to me once. My ex-boyfriend kept comparing me to one of his female friends. That was an emotionally damaging experience. It severely affected my self-esteem.

Therefore, leave him if such behavior is taking a toll on your mental health. Nothing is more important than your peace. 

6. Self-love and confidence test 

How does a man test a woman? He will see if you are a woman who loves herself and is confident enough.

Are you brave enough to draw boundaries around how others treat you? Men gauge women by their self-assurance and resilience.

Men admire women who stand their ground, no matter the circumstances. So, when faced with disrespect, they are testing whether you value yourself enough not to be taken for granted. 

7. He will do an anger management test

He will purposely start a fight just to see if it rubs you the wrong way. In these moments of conflict, he will even resort to emotional theatrics and show fake aggression to see how you respond. He will even resort to calling you strange nicknames.

This is one of the ways a man tests you to see how you respond to his wicked treatment. He will see how much you are willing to endure for the sake of his affection.

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8. He will test your ability to be vulnerable

Men sometimes like real women who are bold enough to accept themselves for who they are. Throw off your mask and show him your weaknesses and insecurities.

You become vulnerable with someone only if you have real feelings for them. This is one of the signs he is testing your feelings because you won’t open your heart to someone you aren’t serious about. 

9. The jealousy game 

A man purposely trying to make you jealous is one of the clear signs he is testing you. Do you love him enough to feel jealous? If yes, then you are on the right path. 

But are you jealous enough to make a big deal about it? That’s not what he is looking for. A little jealousy is fine but becoming possessive is what a man dislikes. Here are some signs a man is playing games with you:

  • He will frequently bring up other women or past relationships to gauge your reaction
  • He may flirt with others in your presence or talk about his interactions with other women to observe how you respond
  • He will still keep his dating profile active to see how you react to all this

Talk to your friends about it and see what advice they have to offer. Then, have an open communication with him if this behavior bothers you. 

He will test if you get jealous

10. The reverse psychology game 

When a man utters sentences like, “You know what? I don’t think I am good enough for you or I don’t think I deserve you”, that’s your cue to know that he is manipulating you. That’s classic reverse psychology. 

But why is he doing this, you ask? He is testing your devotion by prompting you to reaffirm your commitment. He may even act rude to ensure you are in this as much as he is.

It is a subtle way of boosting his own ego. He is expecting answers like, “No. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me”.

This is often done by people with low self-esteem or someone with an extreme fear of abandonment. 

11. He will see if commitment freaks you out 

Another common mind game men play when they are serious about a woman is testing if she is a commitment-phobe.

Some guys play this game to see if you are genuinely committed to them and the relationship. Some signs that a man may be testing your commitment in a relationship include:

  • Being inconsistent. He will act distant one moment and will be behind you the next 
  • He will express doubt about the relationship to seek reassurance 
  • He will purposely initiate serious conversations to see if you will participate 
  • He will try to play mind games with you by saying that he has a fear of commitment to see whether it scares you or amuses you  

If you hate these cruel commitment-phobe games, don’t stay silent about them. Speak up when you spot the signs he is testing your loyalty. Use “I” sentences to let him know how you feel about it.

Key Takeaways

  • A man will play gaslighting game, blame game, testing boundaries game, and all sorts of game to test a woman 
  • Some more signs he is testing your loyalty include comparing you to other women to see how much it affects you
  • No woman will let a man walk over her like this. Don’t let him treat you like this and confront him immediately 

Understanding the mind games men play when testing your loyalty will help you figure out whether or not you want to pursue the relationship. These common mind games will impact your self-esteem. Hence, you need to be prepared and foster open communication, setting boundaries, and prioritizing mutual respect. Lastly, always remember that loyalty can’t be affirmed through such tests. It can only be confirmed, felt, understood, and respected through words and actions. 


1. Why do guys test a girl they like?

Guys sometimes test a girl they like because they want to see if they have genuine feelings for them. Sometimes women mislead men and break their hearts. To prevent any emotional damage, they test a woman by checking her loyalty, patience, and vulnerability. 

2. How do you know if a guy is testing you?

You can clearly see a guy is testing you if he indulges in a lot of push and pull behavior or if he constantly tries to make you feel jealous.

3. Do guys test you by ignoring you?

Yes. Many men test a woman by ghosting and ignoring them to see if they remain faithful till the time they decide to come back.