You cannot decide who you fall in love with, whether it is a guy who is already committed or married. And then, when he too shows signs he likes you, you yearn to know if he really loves you. You want to know if you have a future with him. And so you want to know the signs that he will leave his girlfriend for you.

The situation can surely be challenging. There is that nagging feeling if you are just a ‘side-chick’ for him. Add to the equation is the social stigma attached to dating a man who is already committed. Surely, this is a recipe for a disaster.

Or is it?

What if you two are soulmates, but he hasn’t realized this? You do not want to be ‘the other woman’ but what if you are meant to be together? Is he destined to break up with his girlfriend to be with you? So many questions on your mind!

  • What makes a guy leave his girlfriend?
  • Will a guy leave his girlfriend for me?
  • Am I good enough for him so he leaves his girlfriend to be with me?

Recent studies suggest our instincts about relationship dynamics often have a basis in fact. The signs are often there if we know where to look. And we will help you look at the right signs at the right time so you can make a decision.

Let’s explore if he genuinely cares for you, so you know he will make the next move in matter of time.

How Do You Know If He Loves You Even If He Has A Current Relationship? 

The guy you are crushing on already has someone in his life. And he is also showing signs he likes you over text, or otherwise. There are subtle hints, but because he is already in a relationship, the signs are not very loud.

And then, you start to wonder about the signs he doesn’t love his girlfriend or the signs he will leave his girlfriend soon. Does he see you as an important person in his life or just another girl? The mystery can be maddening. Here’s a concise breakdown:

1. Takes cues from his current relationship

What are his current relationship dynamics like? When looking for signs he will leave his girlfriend for you, this one is the foremost place to start from.

Does he often compare his current girlfriend unfavorably against you? That could be a red flag indicating he just wants to use you.

However, if he wants to know you thoroughly, and keeps asking you personal questions, it is indicative of his growing interest in you.

If the guy in question shares his problems like you are his most trusted confidant, it is indicative of his strong feelings for you. Men do not share their emotions so easily, so when they do, it is usually with someone very important.

If he’s asking personal questions or you’ve become his best friend and most trusted confidant, then there’s more between you two than just a casual fling. Some other signs that his relationship is not thriving include:

  • He often talks badly about his girlfriend, indicating he’s not content in his relationship
  • A telltale sign of his deepest feelings is when he tells you how he would have done anything to be with you
  • When he spends more quality time with you than with his girlfriend, it is an obvious sign he prefers your company to hers

2. The signs in his body language and communication

Body language never lies. It is the non-verbal communication, including postural components, that dominates the communication1. According to a study, body language clearly indicates a person’s feelings, even if he does not express them verbally.

When a man is attracted to you, there will be some subtle and some pronounced body language signs of attraction2. To be assured your love interest is equally into you, look for these signs:

  • He does not shy away from making eye-contact with you. Is generally very attentive toward you and maintains a physical proximity with you
  • A man who finds you attractive will lean in to talk to you
  • Does he seem to nod at everything you say?
  • Does he make space for you if you walk in a crowded place?
  • While speaking to you, does he maintain eye-contact, laughs often and often maintains open body posture?
  • Look for clear signs of his behavior, Does he sit closer to you, like the two chairs in a room drawing you both in?

The above signs are indicative of his interest in you. If these feelings are genuine, there is a very good chance he will breakup with his girlfriend to be with you.

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3. His actions speak for him

Say, he is catching up with you over a cup of coffee when his girlfriend’s number buzzes on his phone. He quickly disconnects the call.

Or, he just tells her he is busy. This is a huge sign of his waning interest in her and his inclination to spend time with you.

If he often tells you about the frequent fights between the two of them, all is not well in their paradise. It may even come to the point where he keeps suggesting they take a break.

He tells you how hard this relationship is on him and he is considering ending the chapter. Because he is himself torn in two, he will seem confused. It is not easy for him as well, sailing in two boats, but if the tides are in your favor, happy days are in store for you.

That’s a positive sign when he treats you as his best friend and confides in you more than anyone else.

If you really like him, it may be time to tell him the truth.

4. You are more than ‘just friends’

Friends do not get jealous if they see you with another guy. Lovers do.

He is not your boyfriend (yet) but he is sure about having you as his partner soon. For this reason, he discourages you to go out with other guys and insists you spend all your free time with him.

He has feelings for you and is gravitating toward you. You are almost unofficially dating if he starts to spend most of his time with you, and does not find any guy worthy of dating you. You are more than just friends if :

  • He asks for your opinions on his personal and professional life, despite having a girlfriend
  • He does not mind calling you ‘love’ or ‘babe’ or displaying his physical love for you
  • He is romantically interested in you if you more than in his girlfriend if he texts you in the middle of a date with her
  • He does not mind staying over at your place for the night, and practically has his stuff over at your place

If he’s thinking about leaving his girlfriend for you, he’ll make an effort to take things slow, ensuring he’s not being abrupt in his decision.

Additionally, he will not look worried even though he knows he is cheating on his girlfriend. He knows getting caught will invite trouble, but for you he is willing to take the risk.

Do not, under any circumstances, get involved with his girlfriend in any capacity. Let him handle her, all you can do is stay out of it and give the girl the respect she deserves.

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5. He tells you why its not working out for him

You know he has a girlfriend and have tried to keep your feelings from him. But here he is, telling you why his relationship is not working, without you probing or asking any questions. Isn’t this one of the obvious signs he will leave his girlfriend for you?

A study highlighted human beings’ tendency to search for assurance in relationships is a characteristic of emotional stability. His emotions are everywhere and he is struggling with his feelings for her and you.

He feels he needs to share openly with you, you can sense this inherent need to express in him. He wants you to listen, empathize and reassure him; because he feels safe with you.

In such a case:

  • If you are okay to process so much information, listen out to him and be his comforter
  • If this is TMI for you to process and you feel disturbed or being used as a dumping pillow, express your feeling clearly and tell him not to overshare. Personal boundaries should be drawn and respected
  • It is extremely important not to get carried away with his issues and offer advice. At the end of the day, its his girlfriend and his relationship and his messy feelings
  • It is difficult to decode whether all the whining is because he is considering a shift in his relationship or he is some crybaby. Leave it on time, if he really loves you, he will be able to sort this mess and make way for happier things in his life

Additionally, notice if he ever says “I am going to break up with my girlfriend soon.”

If he said he will break up with his girlfriend, maybe in a weak moment, rest assured, it will be for you.

He has been sleeping around
Image by user15285612 on Freepik

6. You seem to get all the brownie points

Does he often compare you favorably against his girlfriend? Do you often hear how you are just ‘so much better than her’ in practically everything you do?

Remarks such as:

  • “This red dress looked awful the other night when Shanaya wore it. It is suiting you perfectly!”
  • “How do you always guess what I want to eat? Amy is always pushing me to eat whatever is cooked at home.”
  • “I knew you would crack this interview in the first go. Beth could have never cleared even the first round.”

In his eyes, you and your perception score high than his girlfriend. She is always lagging behind in all the qualities he notices in you. The way you look, the things you know, the way conduct yourself- you seem to be better in everything.

Are these just compliments or signs he views you as his future mate? Don’t these sound like signs he wants you to be his girlfriend?

Yet, it is absolutely imperative to exercise caution in the tricky business of relationships and where you are presumably being ‘the other woman’.

These remarks could make you feel flattered, sure, but it could just be genuine admiration as well. Try to priortize open communication and honesty to know his true intentions for you.

Great relationships do not happen because someone is better at things because of someone else, the bench marks of a healthy relationship remain mutual respect, understanding, love and loyalty.

7. You become his emotional support system

Who does he lean on for emotional support when he is in a soup? If the answer is you, then he looks at you as his confidante and trusts you blindly.

  • His seeking emotional support from you instead of his girlfriend indicates the troublesome underlying dynamics in his relationship
  • His emotional vulnerability with you signals his deep level of trust and comfort with you
  • He thinks of you as his safe person where he can be vulnerable without the fear of getting hurt or judged. It is also a sign there is a lack of emotional depth between him and his current girlfriend
  • He may be looking at you for a long-term partnership and is trying to gauge your feelings by showing you how much he trusts you
  • He is not worried about maintaining a particular image in front of you, he is ready to bare his heart and let you in

This is an obvious sign that there is an emotional connection developing between you two. And a strong indicator that he will eventually leave his girlfriend to be with you.

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8. You notice he’s distancing himself from his girlfriend

Does it seem like he is pulling away from his girlfriend? Have you noticed:

  • He is less affectionate to her now
  • There is not that much texting and calling
  • They are not posting pictures of themselves on social media
  • He does not seem to be so expressive in his comments on social media as he was before
  • Instead of sitting close, there’s now a noticeable gap on the couch
  • He does not mind sitting away from her when in a large group
  • The inside jokes have ceased

Every relationship goes through turbulences, there are periods of no-contact and breaks. However, a couple in love usually makes up after sometime. But if the distance between him and his girlfriend is only getting worse everyday, there is a good chance their relationship is not going to last.

And if your gut feeling tells you you have a role to play here, well, we cannot deny it. It’s important, though, not to jump to conclusions just because they seem to have hit a rough patch.

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9. He chooses you over his girlfriend again and again

You over her. Every time. Again and again.

Why? Because he sees you long term and imagines his future with you. It is a good sign for you because it shows he is serious about you and is probably considering breaking up with his girlfriend. Look for the below signs;

  • He’d hang out with you rather than with her, indicating he enjoys your company more
  • He is by your side should you face any challenge or problem, at the cost of spending time with his girlfriend
  • He checks on you numerous times during the day
  • He always tells you when he is going on a date and where is he
  • Your shared interests compel him to do certain activities with you only
  • He does not include his girlfriend when he makes plans with you
  • You are the first one he shares his triumphs and disappointments with

If you are also considering a relationship with him, this could make you feel special as this tells you how significant you are in his life. However, if you do not feel about him the same way, you could feel uneasy and should draw some clear boundaries with him.

The takeaway is you are not just an afterthought or a second choice for him. In his eyes, the moments with you are moments well-spent. So yes, he may break up with his girlfriend to be with you.

10. He feels valued and understood by you

Does he often confide in you his deepest fears? Are you the one who helps him calm down when he is feeling insecure? Is there that palpable chemistry between the two of you? You yourself hold the answer to these questions.

If he looks calmer and enveloped in a profound sense of being understood and valued, he shares a deep, emotional bond with you.

Just as much as a glance from you or a smile can make him feel better. And that is why he is drawn to you, because with you, he not only feels heard but also feels understood.

You are not someone who judges or mocks him, instead, you make him feel unique and cherished. You do not hesitate to give the validation he needs, boosting his self-confidence and making him feel hopeful.

The way you make him validated and assured, makes your bond extraordinary draws him toward you. These feelings could make him feel you are who he should be with, eventually making him part ways with his girlfriend.

11. He mentions how he wishes his girlfriend treated him the same way you do

The way you care for him, understand him and respect him makes him feel undervalued when he is with his girlfriend. He wants his girlfriend to treat him the way you do, be available to him the way you are and make him feel cherished the way you do.

For this reason, he has started to feel the void in his relationship. He yearns to be treated the way you treat him, and one fine day he expresses this deep sentiment toward you. The romantic relationship he already has is not what he craves for, it is your affection that makes him feel complete and whole.
Your bond with him is special, and he realizes it. The warmth and love you offer hasn’t gone unnoticed and he may soon want it all for himself, exclusively. That is a huge sign you two are compatible and make a great match.

will he leave his girlfriend for you
Image by Freepik

12. He genuinely cares about your well-being

One of the signs he cares for you more than his girlfriend is when he consistently shows concern for your happiness, health and well-being. It’s not just a formal check on you, but actions that show genuine care for you.

  • He wouldn’t hesitate to be with with you if you are going through a challenging time. Infact, he’d offer his support, attention and all his time to help you overcome it
  • In your successes, he is more excited and celebrates them with you
  • He will be the one bringing over flowers and some hot soup for you when you are sick, even if he was supposed to be at the movies with his girlfriend
  • He will be visibly flustered, rushing about, attending to you and managing the (rightful) tantrums of his girlfriend, but his conscious attempts are all directed at your care
  • Your safety is paramount to him, every time he knows you are out partying, he checks on you when you get home

These are not just random empty gestures or fleeting moments, but a consistent pattern of caring deeply for your welfare. When he prioritizes your well-being, it’s evident that you’re not just another person in his life but someone truly special to him. He surely wants to be with you.

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13. He’s distant with his girlfriend in public (and more into you)

You are in love with him, but knowing that he has a girlfriend you haven’t confessed your feelings for him. However, your love for him is evident in your actions, in the warmth and affection you shower on him.

He notices them, all. And that is when , at the crossroads, he starts to show signs that he is drifting away from his girlfriend. Subtle behavioral cues of gaps in their relationship would include:

  • They both seem to sit apart in group settings
  • PDA has decreased considerably
  • He is free most of the times, when he should be out grabbing a coffee of a couple of drinks with his girlfriend
  • The social media activity indicates signs of disconnect with his girlfriend

Even if they have not broken up (yet), these actions are huge signs he is considering moving on from this relationship. If he has shown signs like above of his budding interest in you, decide how you want to handle the situation, ensuring respect for all involved. 

14. You’ve caught him saying he wishes he had met you before her

They say alcohol is the truth serum. Infact, a research quoted in https://rehabs.com/ , says that “drunk words are sober words”.

So if he drunk-called you one fine night and says how he wishes he had met you before her, believe that he has developed strong feelings for you. It is a huge thing to come from someone who is already in a relationship, but he has fallen for you.

Sure, it took you by surprise, but now that you know how he feels about you, you can be happy and rest assured as he is going to come to you. This is one of the most promising signs he will leave his girlfriend for you.

Such an incident can also make you feel confused and leave you wondering ‘what could have been”. But that is not important, because the only direction life moves is forward, and forward seems to be favoring you

While it’s touching to know you hold a special place in his heart, don’t judge anything too soon because of his past. Cherish the present and the connection you share now. It’s not about who came first, but who lasts.

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15. He’s thinking of a serious relationship change

Have you noticed him showing signs as if he is re-evaluating his current relationship? Does he consistently seem doubtful if he is with the right person? Does it feel like he is torn in two, as if he’s at a crossroad.

He would have felt something for his girlfriend as well, but now his growing fondness for you coupled with insincere efforts by his girlfriend have pushed him to weigh his feelings, wondering if he is at the right place in his relationship.

He compares the bond he shares with his girlfriend against the one he feels growing with you. 

Has he indicated at a breakup soon? Did he mention to you how he is considering taking a bold step: ending his present relationship to start a lasting one with you?

Pay attention to his moves; maybe he’s hinting at his desire to build a life with you. It’s essential to approach the situation with understanding and caution, but know he’s thinking of a “forever” with you.

16. His close friends mention he might be thinking of moving on

He has confided with his inner circle and someone close to him suggests he is considering moving on from his current relationship. His close friends also tell you he is thinking of approaching you after ending things with his girlfriend.

It can be intriguing, but the signs were there from the start. It is best to exercise caution and not let your yet-to-be-partner know about your feelings. Just ensure you support him, and stay away from the girl as it must be equally hard on her as well. Empathy goes a long way.

The next chapter in both of your lives could be unfolding soon. Whatever happens, prioritize mutual respect and understanding.

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17.  Openly discusses the tricky thing of navigating his feelings for two people (his current girlfriend and you)

“Do you think I can be in love with two women at the same time?”

When a man is torn between two women, he will be confused. He understands the implications but he is caught between a huge, messy web of emotions. He can’t stop thinking about you and he has observed signs you like him too.

His feelings cannot be hidden anymore and he decides to approach you, telling you what he is thinking about, in all honesty. He understands this is unfair to the other girl as well, but he wants you to know how much you mean to him. There is a huge conflict inside of him, this utter confusion, blurred lines of right and wrong.

Honestly, this is not going to be easy, yet, it is important that you let him know about your feelings as well. The guilt of hurting the girlfriend will persist, and may hit both of you hard. However, if you both are sure of taking this forward, you should support each other in this difficult and emotionally challenging time.

If you are unsure, it is best not to lead him on and give him false hopes There is still time to step back, and the choice is yours.

How Long Should I Wait For Him To Leave His Girlfriend

You don’t fall in love by choice, it is by chance. And your heart has found a man, who is already taken. You have fallen head over heels for him and he has seen how your loving light and presence makes life so much easier for him. Yet, there is the woman he is dating in the equation.

The conflict is real, and so is the guilt. This is not a happy, healthy situation to be in. Your best bet is to act thoughtfully, considering your well-being and mental health. And then, you look for signs he will leave his girlfriend for you.

If you have seen the signs he feels for you yet there is no step taken to end the current relationship, there is no point to wait till the end of time and make yourself unavailable to someone who may just be waiting for you. He may not be ready to leave his girlfriend and it is best to leave it at that.

However, if he finally decides to let go of his girlfriend, do not BLAME YOURSELF for the breakup- their relationship just wasn’t strong enough.

Moreover, understand the complexity of emotions involved. Endings are tough, and rebound connections are often unfair. If he chooses you, ensure both of you are truly ready.

Prioritize self-growth and happiness. You deserve someone who unreservedly picks you.

Key Takeaways

  • If you are in love with a committed man, start with building a genuine friendship with him
  • Always be mindful of his relationship status, be respectable to it and his girlfriend
  • If you see the signs of his growing admiration for you, let the Universe do its work.
  • Make room for honest and open communication if the need arises
  • If you feel being taken for granted, do not hesitate to move on. Work on yourself and heal yourself heartbreak


We hope this article helped you to ascertain this man in question, gauge his feelings and take a rain check as well. In essence, while there’s no clear path, always remember that you should be a priority, not a mere victim in any relationship.