Sometimes love stories don’t have a happy ending. They are met with heartbreak, pain, and unrequited love. You fell in love but she is rolling her eyes at you when you say sweet things. You can certainly sense you aren’t important in her life. These are some of the signs she doesn’t like you and certainly, she doesn’t want a relationship with you. We get it. It hurts.

Studies have found that men are more likely to experience unrequited love as a result of romantic pursuit. They also end up blaming themselves for being unworthy of someone’s love.

However, you can’t jump to a conclusion right away and confirm that she isn’t interested in you.

You need to be sure about her emotions before making a big decision. It can be exhausting but fret not! We are here with all the tips that will give you the bigger picture of her true feelings. Let’s help you get out of this “She loves me.. she loves me not” situation. 

17 Painful Yet Clear Signs She Doesn’t Like You 

A loving and healthy relationship is built on equality, trust, loyalty, compromise, and effort from both sides. But when one person suddenly withdraws from the relationship, things go haywire. Fights, misunderstandings, and resentment ensue.

If you are stuck in a similar situation where you’re the one giving all the love and getting nothing in return, it’s good to read all the pointers below that highlight a woman’s real feelings for you:

1. She barely talks to you anymore

You guys used to talk a lot when you met but your conversations have fizzled out suddenly. What went wrong? She wasn’t like this before. She used to tell you everything about her day, her aspirations, and her goals.

But now, she is trying to avoid talking to you as much as she can and when she can’t ignore you, she will give you half-hearted and one-word responses. This is one of the obvious signs she despises you.

When you like someone, you want to talk to them and get to know them better. But that’s not the case with your special person.

She has suddenly decided that she is just not into you anymore. Her response is just “yeah”, “right”, or “okay”. These monosyllabic answers are not a good sign, especially if you’ve fallen in love with her. 

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2. She doesn’t text back 

You text her all the time, you send her memes, and you even ask her to reply when she reads your message. All in vain.

She is not into you so she chooses to ignore your text messages. And if she doesn’t want to look rude, she will drop a subtle “ok” or “whatever” just to make herself look good. This is one of the clear signs she doesn’t want you to approach her. It is more like you are in a one-sided relationship with her.

“It’s obvious that she wants you to leave her alone. If she wanted to have a conversation with you in any way, she would be responding to your texts. Stop texting her and move on. Don’t call, email, or write a letter either. She doesn’t want to talk to you. Find someone who wants to talk to you”, writes a Quora user on women’s feelings when they don’t text back. 

ghosted after kissing on first date
Image by Freepik

3. She reluctantly listens to you 

You are yapping about the things you like, your childhood, the shows you enjoy watching, and whatnot! But is she listening to you? Not really.

Her mind is elsewhere and she is just acting like she’s interested in this conversation. Moreover, this girl is not interested in you if she never asks for your opinion.

Of course, she is under no obligation to ask for your thoughts but that’s what happens in a conversation. Both people share their opinions regardless of whether they accept it or not.

Along with ignoring your opinions, she will also talk aggressively. Her tone will be high-pitched and she will raise her voice now and then to let you know that she is annoyed. 

4. She doesn’t care about you 

When you like someone and want to spend time with them, you usually check up on them. You want to know if they’ve eaten well, had a good day at work, and other things like that.

But when she starts to lose interest in you, she won’t bother asking how your day went or if your family back home is doing okay. She won’t care about the big or small things going on in your life. 

Some more obvious signs she has stopped caring about you include:

  • She doesn’t pay attention to you anymore 
  • She is always making excuses for not meeting you 
  • She quickly forgets the things you said 
  • She prefers to spend time with her friends rather than spending time with you
  • She belittles your hobbies and interests 
  • She makes decisions without informing you 

Most guys tend to ignore these signs because they are blind in love. But the sooner you recognize that she does not find you attractive anymore, the better it is for your mental health.

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5. She points out all your flaws

  • “You earn less than Peter.”
  • “You don’t know how to drive.”
  • “You are so short.”
  • “You are always anxious.”
  • “You are not masculine enough”.

A girl who pays attention to all your drawbacks and points out your weaknesses as a way to attack you is a toxic one af. Love is loving a person the way they are, without judgment or conditions1.

Each person has blemishes and imperfections but to draw attention to those errors just to ridicule that person is insensitive and unacceptable.

Someone who genuinely likes you will embrace you as you are. In fact, she will love you despite your flaws and weaknesses the same way you love everything about her. This is one of the subtle signs she doesn’t like you after the first date itself. 

6. She doesn’t do anything special for you 

When you are in love, you do memorable things for your romantic interest. You cook for them, buy fresh flowers, and sometimes even write poetry honoring their beauty.

These little things make a person happy and sustain a romantic relationship in the long run. 

On the contrary, if a girl is not interested in you, she won’t do anything special for you even though you are unofficially dating.

As someone who is not interested in you, she won’t appreciate the things you do for her. She will overlook all the romantic things and will display apathy. 

you can know your crush doesn't like you even without talking to them

7. She retracts herself when you touch her 

Physical contact is an important aspect of a loving relationship. It’s one of the love languages that many people prioritize.

You hold her hands, touch her waist, or give a peck on her cheek. That’s a good sign of a healthy relationship early on.

When she withdraws herself from your touch, it’s because she isn’t attracted to you anymore. She’s uncomfortable and it’s best you ask for her content before initiating any kind of physical contact. 

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8. She hesitates to be alone with you

She’s busy when you ask her to go on a coffee date with you. She has work when you want to meet her for a quick lunch.

She is out of town when you want to take her to a family event. It’s one of the red flags that represent her disinterest in you.

You are not her romantic or sexual interest and that’s why she is hesitating to be alone with you.

Perhaps she does not like you more than a friend and that’s why she would rather be with you in a group setting than spend alone time with you. 

9. She talks about being interested in other men

How do you know if a girl is not serious about you?

She talks about all the guys she’s been with and she will talk about being interested in other men. She will talk about her crushes, the men she matched with on dating apps, and the hot men in her office who keep hitting on her. 

She is not trying to make you jealous but she is telling you that she has many options she could choose from and that you don’t stand a chance against them.

She is trying to make you compete with them when she knows you won’t win. It’s best to stay away from her in such cases to prevent heartbreak. 

10. She often cancels plans with you 

She says she will meet you but she will cancel at the last minute. Don’t think she’s shy to meet you. She is not. She just doesn’t want to meet you.

She is probably talking to her friends about you and laughing about your desperation. This is one of the clear signs she doesn’t want a relationship with you.

A Quora user explains why some people keep canceling plans, “You are just a backup plan. When she has no one to hang out with, she’ll come to you. The only way to deal with this situation is to not expect anything. If you wish to date this person, DON’T. Don’t think about her too much now. You clearly aren’t the first one in her mind.” 

11. She doesn’t flirt back 

When you like someone, you start flirting with them. You catch her gaze and if she holds it, she is flirting back. But if she doesn’t, it’s because she is not interested in you. You can flirt with her to see her reaction:

  • Did she get offended and walk away? 
  • Did she subtly tell you she isn’t interested in you romantically? 
  • Did she ignore your flirting and stick to formal conversations? 

If you answered yes to any of these questions, it’s a classic sign your crush doesn’t like you anymore. You may think that she’s excited to be with you but she definitely doesn’t think that she could be in a relationship with you. 

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12. She has a negative body language 

Negative body language refers to the non-verbal gestures that can be intentional or involuntary, basically conveying q feeling of disinterest or lack of confidence2.

She will convey her discomfort, disinterest, and defensiveness when you try to get too close. She won’t like it and it will be clearly visible through her gestures and behavior. For example:

  • She won’t make eye contact with you, indicating she is not interested in listening to anything you say3
  • Her smile won’t be genuine. You can feel that it’s a forced smile 
  • She will lean away from you and will prefer to maintain physical distance in between 
  • She won’t be interested in taking the conversation to a deeper level 
  • She will have pursed lips and a tensed jaw 

These are some of the body language signs she doesn’t like you and that’s the bitter truth. Don’t think that her feelings will change if you are persistent. That will only make her feel suffocated. 

Negative body language signs she does not like you
Image by drobotdean on Freepik

13. She doesn’t introduce you to her inner circle 

You have known each other for a while and there is an evident tension between the two of you. She knows you like her but she is still sending mixed signals.

Perhaps she is confused about you or she completely dislikes you and doesn’t know how to break this news to you. 

That’s one of the reasons she hasn’t introduced you to her friends and family members.

Moreover, she doesn’t let you post her pictures on your social media accounts and she won’t post pictures either. It’s like she is hiding you from the rest of the world. It’s sad but that pill you need to swallow as soon as possible. 

14. She is rude and disrespectful toward you

There’s a thin line between being honest and being rude. She can’t just insult you and then pass statements like “Oh, I was just being sarcastic”. That’s not funny.

Disrespect in any kind of relationship is not acceptable. It is toxic and it can diminish the person’s self-worth and self-confidence. This proves that she definitely doesn’t like you. 

Here are some more classic signs of disrespect from a person you like:

  • She tries to hurt your feelings by making you the butt of all jokes 
  • She doesn’t mince her words and she is a hypocrite 
  • She doesn’t respect your emotional boundaries 
  • She badmouths you to her friends 
  • She doesn’t recognize all the efforts you are putting into this relationship 
  • She gives you the silent treatment when she is mad at you

You have many amazing qualities to offer. Just because a girl is putting you down doesn’t mean you should cry and sulk about it. Tell her she can find someone else if she won’t stop with the disrespect. 

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15. She doesn’t get personal with you 

She doesn’t want a relationship with you if she refuses to share anything about her personal life.

She went from texting every day to nothing at the flick of the wrist and you don’t know much about her childhood, her past relationships, and about her insecurities. She will clearly draw a line and will refuse to be vulnerable with you.

It’s clear that she’s faking her interest in you because she is keeping things on a surface level. If she wanted to be in a romantic relationship with you, she would have opened her heart to you and would have told you about her fears and shortcomings. 

16. She friend-zones you 

“Oh, you’re just a good friend”, that’s what she will say when you ask her where you stand in her life.

When you are in social dynamics, she will even introduce her as a friend to her loved ones. Are you really just a friend?

Well.. You’ve been on a few dates. You’ve stayed up late chatting about random things and you’ve even expressed your romantic feelings toward her.

But all of a sudden she friend-zones you and acts like she was never into you. That’s one of the surefire signs she is not attracted to you anymore. These things happen.

People fall out of love when they see something off-putting about you or when they find someone better than you. Don’t ever think there’s anything lacking in you. Each person is entitled to their feelings and perspectives.  

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17. She flirts with other guys 

You are with her and she openly flirts with other guys. She doesn’t care about your feelings. She will talk about how handsome the guy sitting at the bar is.

That’s quite hurtful and that should tell you about her intentions. She is just passing away her time and doesn’t have any future plans with you.

“You can’t flirt unintentionally, which means that she is purposefully doing this. She enjoys the attention of several others. This will not change and will only result in a continuing source of irritation. Find someone else and learn from this experience”, writes a Quora user on girls flirting with other guys in the presence of the person who is in love with her. 

These are some of the signs a girl doesn’t like you. It can be heartbreaking but you just can’t sit in your room and cry about it. So what can you do? Read along and find out.

pull away from a guy to make him want you
Image by drobotdean on Freepik

What To Do If The Girl You Like Doesn’t Like You Back? 

One of the worst feelings in the world is to love someone who doesn’t share the same feelings for you. You start questioning your self-worth and your self-esteem begins to diminish. Maybe she liked you before but she has outgrown her feelings for you.

Now, she’s telling people you’re just a good friend, whereas you are telling others how much you love her. Listed below are some helpful tips that will help you tackle this situation in a better way:

1. Respect her feelings

You tried to prove your love but she couldn’t see it. So, accept her decision and respect her feelings.

You like her but that’s not how she feels about you. Not a big deal. You need to accept the fact that you’ve been rejected. But that shouldn’t affect your self-worth.

So, don’t have to force her to love you. You can’t change her mind or feelings. That has to come from within. 

Pressuring or trying to change her mind will only create discomfort and can even damage whatever existing relationship you share with her.

If she despises you, then it’s best to cut ties with her completely. If she wants to have a platonic relationship, then you can think about it and decide whether you want to be friends with her or not. 

2. Give yourself time to heal 

There’s a popular belief that women are more emotional than men. That’s not true. Research states that both men and women are equally emotional.

Life throws bad things at you and you ought to feel sad about it. Hormones have nothing to do with the intensity of anyone’s emotions. 

So, allow yourself to feel your emotions, whether it is sadness, disappointment, feelings of betrayal, loneliness, or frustration. It is natural to feel hurt but don’t dwell on such negative thoughts for a long time.

This will negatively impact your mental health and you will go down a rabbit hole. It will be difficult to come out of it. 

Here are some ways you can practice self-healing:

  • Don’t hold grudges in your heart 
  • Be compassionate toward yourself 
  • Shower yourself with positive self-talk
  • Be grateful for the highs and lows 
  • Practice mindfulness 

When you start healing on your own, you will find it easier to control your anxiety and other negative feelings. 

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3. Focus on improving yourself 

Dating coaches say that rejection can cause anxiety. That’s why you need to divert all your energy into yourself. Use this experience as an opportunity for personal growth. Invest time in your hobbies, interests, and activities that bring you contentment, joy, and happiness.

This will help you build your self-confidence and self-esteem. Write down all the negative thoughts in your journal and vent it out. Read good books, eat healthy, and exercise regularly. These are some of the things you can do to improve yourself. 

4. Stay positive and seek support 

Have a positive outlook and keep an open mind about future possibilities. Just because one person didn’t reciprocate your feelings doesn’t mean you will never find love and happiness anywhere else.

There are many more women out there. Go ahead and sign yourself up on dating apps. Enjoy the single life till you fall in love again. 

Meanwhile, lean on your friends, family, or a trusted confidant for support when things get rough. Talk about your feelings to gain perspective and move forward. You can’t bottle your feelings and expect everything to be alright. 

5. Maintain your distance 

If being around the person you like becomes too difficult, it’s okay to take a step back and create some space for yourself.

Avoid contacting her and tell her that you can’t be friends as it’s taking a toll on your mental health, which should be your number one priority at the moment. 

This will help you focus on healing and moving on. Everything can’t go according to her convenience. So, keep your distance and walk away from her when you feel overwhelmed by her presence. 

Key Takeaways 

  • Sometimes you fall in love with someone who doesn’t love you back and that’s absolutely okay 
  • Some of the signs she doesn’t like you are ignoring your messages, ditching you to meet her friends, and not caring about your mental or physical health 
  • You need to accept this rejection and give yourself some time to heal on your own

A woman’s rejection doesn’t define your worth. Some girls may love you for who you are but other girls may despise you. That’s just how life is. You can’t fight it. Also, don’t think that you are losing out on anything just because she isn’t romantically interested in you. This was never meant to be and you are better off without her. Go ahead and meet other women who will feel like they are lucky to have you. Good luck! 

FAQs

1. Do girls avoid guys they like?

Girls sometimes avoid guys they like because they want to be chased. They want them to send text messages all the time and call them when they don’t reply. It’s like they want their guy’s attention all the time. She will also do this if she’s shy and doesn’t know how to express her feelings. 

2. Can a girl change her mind about liking you?

Yes. This happens more often than you would like to think. Girls change their perception of a man they like when they see a side that presents a more negative image of him. On the contrary, she will also change her mind when she sees some positive traits in you.