You can’t compel someone to have feelings for you. Such things cannot be forced. They cannot be coaxed and teased. Love comes out of heaven, unasked, unexpected, and unsought. That’s what makes falling and staying in love beautiful. On the other hand, it’s heartbreaking when you sense a few signs he is forcing himself to love you. It can make you question the very existence of feelings and emotions related to love, belonging, warmth, and devotion. 

Perhaps he did fall for you in the beginning, when it was all fun and games. However, as time went by, your partner’s feelings faded. He isn’t doing anything to restore his love for you. He is pretending to be interested in you. If you have a strong feeling that your partner isn’t the same anymore, we can help you figure it out. 

11 Painful Signs He Is Forcing Himself To Love You 

Your boyfriend or spouse could have physical contact with you and pretend like it’s all okay. But deep down, there’s a possibility that it could all be a facade. He could be pretending to love you in order to avoid any conflicts and heartbreaks. That’s why it’s crucial to learn all the signs he is forcing himself to love you so you can try to do something about it instead of living in a bubble and thinking it’s all good. The signs start below. Scroll down and read along. 

1. He never initiates anything 

You are the one who initiates:

  • Physically intimacy
  • Planning dates 
  • Vacations
  • Birthday parties 
  • Emotional intimacy 
  • Other thoughtful gestures

It’s all you. You make the first move and he just goes along with it. And sometimes, he will outright reject the ideas you come up with in regards to spending quality time together, which is the backbone of every healthy relationship. He will often cancel plans. So, when he has problems discussing such things, you can confirm that he is feigning love. 

However, the fact that he would rather spend alone time than develop a strong emotional and physical connection with you shows that he doesn’t see this as a long-term relationship. He had his fun time with you and now he is just seeing how long he can stretch this relationship for. That’s his true feelings right there. This is one of the signs he is lying about loving you. 

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2. He runs away from difficult conversations

Difficult conversations are a natural part of any romantic relationship. It’s an opportunity to express each other’s thoughts and resolve conflicts. Such sensitive conversations also bring two people close together on a deeper level. Some of these challenging topics may include:

  • Discussing finances, budgeting, and financial goals can be tricky, especially if there are differences in spending habits or income levels
  • Addressing jealousy issues or rebuilding trust after a breach
  • Conversations about past relationships, sexual needs, desires, and boundaries 
  • Setting and respecting boundaries in the relationship 

When he’s struggling to love you, he will avoid communicating on such difficult topics. Even if the two of you sit down and finally start talking about it, he will give you vague replies, won’t fully participate in the conversation, and will be making excuses to get rid of this conversation. 

3. His behavior is inconsistent 

Inconsistency in a romantic relationship can be a significant source of stress and dissatisfaction. He will indulge in a lot of hot-and-cold behavior or frequent mood swings. This can lead to confusion and frustration in relationships. Some other signs of inconsistent behavior include:

  • His body language will be different when you are in a public setting. He will be more affectionate and loving toward you. However, the moment you reach home, his behavior changes. He becomes cold and distant again
  • He doesn’t call you even after seeing your missed calls
  • He will show love when it deems him right and when you do something to appease him 

All this is inconsistent behavior. Even research has found that such behavior can cause a lot of problems in romantic relationships. In fact, a theory called expectancy violation theory explores how inconsistencies between partners’ expectations and actual behaviors can lead to relationship dissatisfaction. It further explains that when partners don’t meet each other’s expectations consistently, it can result in disappointment and conflict.

Inconsistent behavior is a asign he doesnt love you
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4. There are frequent arguments 

Conflicts and disagreements are part and parcel of every relationship. However, it’s a sign of worry when the war of words becomes toxic. Partners need to know how to fight fair in a relationship. This is one of the key signs he is forcing himself to love you. He fights like an animal. Some of the signs of toxic conflicts include:

  • Raising his voice in an attempt to intimidate you 
  • Blaming you for his unhappiness 
  • He makes personal attacks 
  • He verbally abuses you
  • He throws things around 

When the above-mentioned things happen in your relationship, take it as a wake-up call. There is no mutual understanding, mutual respect, or mutual love between the two of you. He might be forcing himself to love you till he finds someone better. His real intentions could be to break up with you soon. 

5. He stonewalls you

Continuing from the previous point, he will stonewall you after every big fight. According to research, it’s emotional abuse because the silent treatment involves refusing to communicate or engage with a partner. Plus, it leads to feelings of rejection, abandonment, and worthlessness. It can deteriorate a person’s physical health as well. This is consciously done to gain dominance, power, or control in the relationship. 

A person who genuinely loves you will never break you like that. He will try to increase your self-esteem by showering his love on you. He will calmly sort out all your issues and will amicably agree to disagree. If he doesn’t talk to you even after seeing how miserable you are with his silence, it’s not a good sign. It’s one of the subtle cues that you’re not right for each other. He won’t say it from his mouth because he is faking it all. Don’t be blind in love and open your eyes before it’s too late. 

6. He is disinterested in your life

When he acts disinterested and indifferent toward you and the things happening in your life, it’s one of the signs he is lying about loving you. If you don’t know what indifference in a relationship looks like, read the list below :

  • He will show little to no interest and enthusiasm when you talk about your life, experiences, or achievements
  • He will rarely ask you questions about your day, interests, or goals, which indicates a lack of curiosity about your life
  • He will frequently forget important details or events that are deeply personal to you that you have shared with him multiple times 
  • He will dismiss or downplay your concerns, achievements, or experiences acting like it’s not a big deal
  • He will consistently prioritize his own interests and needs over yours without any consideration for your desires

A person who loves you truly will be your biggest cheerleader. He will celebrate your trivial and monumental achievements alike. This is one of the signs he is forcing himself to love you. 

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7. He has stopped supporting you 

From being your strongest pillar to withholding his support — that’s the graph you are witnessing in your relationship. You can sense that he isn’t genuinely excited about your dreams and goals. He isn’t putting any effort in helping you achieve them either. It’s evident that he isn’t emotionally invested in your ambitions and life goals. 

In fact, he will act like he doesn’t even care about them in the first place. He will even go to the lengths of criticizing your hard work. If this has happened to you even once, then it’s one of the alarming and clear signs your partner is pretending to love you. These are definitive proof of him looking for ways to break this relationship. 

8. He compares you to his previous girlfriends 

It was like a dream when you first met him. You fell head over heels in love with each other. It all happened in an instant. Now, he sits there denying his feelings for his ex-girlfriend while comparing you to her and this relationship with his past relationships. This is one of the most heartbreaking signs he’s pushing himself to love you. 

That’s not fair and it can take a toll on your mental health. He is either intentionally or unintentionally trying to make you feel insecure and jealous of yourself by comparing you to others. It’s clear through his actions that he has no future plans with you and wants the relationship to hit the iceberg soon. 

9. He doesn’t utilize your love language 

When you start dating someone, you quickly learn about your partner’s love languages as they are an integral part of every romantic relationship. They help individuals and couples understand how they give and receive love and affection. They enhance emotional intimacy because expressing love in the way your partner understands and appreciates deepens the emotional bond and creates an irresistible connection between you and your partner. There are five types of love languages:

  • Physical touch
  • Acts of service 
  • Quality time 
  • Words of affirmation 
  • Gift-giving

Apart from the love languages, he doesn’t even make eye contact with you anymore. He isn’t fully invested in your conversations. It’s a known fact that not everyone gives and receives love the same way. However, when he doesn’t even try to use any one of these love languages in your relationship, it’s one of the biggest signs he is simply forcing himself to love you. He simply doesn’t care about making you feel loved and appreciated. He is the wrong person for you. You genuinely deserve better. 

10. He has stopped compromising 

When both the partners equally compromise in a loving relationship, it ensures that the power balance stays intact. Neither of the parties has an upper hand in the relationship. It prevents one person from constantly exerting power and dominance over the other. He has made his own conclusions based on his feelings. He doesn’t love you so you should be the one to bend to his will, whims, and wishes. 

Lack of intimacy and unwilling to compromise
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When you compromise, it shows that you are willing to put your partner’s happiness before yours. But if your partner isn’t willing to compromise and you are the only one who is, it’s one of the signs that he doesn’t care about the relationship anymore. He is busy doing his own things. There is no genuine love and he certainly doesn’t care about fulfilling your needs.

11. He is never happy and doesn’t care about your happiness 

He will laugh at your jokes. He will smile when you do something nice for him. However, you get a feeling that the nuances of exuberance and ecstasy are missing in his eyes. His eyes seem morose. You know it in your gut that everything feels forced and he feels trapped in this relationship. Intuitions are very strong. Don’t neglect what your gut tells you. 

In addition to always seeming sad, he will also pull you down. A man who doesn’t have genuine feelings for you will never try to make you happy. He won’t join and celebrate your happiness either. He will make sure his toxicity engulfs the entire relationship. 

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What To Do If You Feel Like Your Partner Is Forcing Himself To Love You

If you suspect that your partner is forcing themselves to be with you or is not genuinely interested in the relationship, it’s essential to address the situation honestly and with empathy. Here are some things you can do:

  • Take some time to reflect on your own feelings and concerns. Consider whether you are happy and fulfilled in the relationship and whether the deeper issue lies in him 
  • Spend time with each other. Initiate an honest and open conversation with your partner
  • Give your partner the opportunity to share his feelings and perspective
  • If the conversation doesn’t lead to a resolution or if the issues are complex, consider seeking the help of a relationship counselor or therapist
  • Sometimes, partners need space to assess their feelings and priorities. Be willing to give each other the time and space necessary to make decisions about the relationship

Key Takeaways 

  • Sometimes people are so madly in love that they can’t see their partner has fallen out of love with them
  • Some of the signs your partner is forcing himself to love you include unsupportive nature, running away from difficult conversations, and being disinterested in your life 
  • He won’t know how to deal with conflicts and will give you the silent treatment 

When you see signs he is forcing himself to love you, understand that love is a voluntary gift. It cannot be coerced. Think of it as a butterfly; it goes where it pleases, and it pleases wherever it goes. So, before you dwell on such a relationship, take a step back and ask yourself if being in such a relationship is even worth it. If your partner’s concerns are trivial, then they can be sorted out easily. However, if they reject the idea of resolving conflicts and working together toward a better and more beautiful future, then you should consider walking away from the relationship.