Is Your Relationship Moving Too Fast? Signs To Watch Out And Tips To Slow Down

Love is like a flower. If you rush its growth, it will wither. Similarly, relationships need to have their own pace. But if you feel like your relationship is moving too fast, you may crash and burn soon.

Moving fast might feel exhilarating, but the beauty of falling in love lies in the small moments and gradual progression. True love is always patient. Rushing it will only lead to unnecessary turbulence.

It’s like you just started seeing this person and now in just a few weeks, you have exchanged keys to your houses and are planning to live together. It is as preposterous as it sounds, and that’s not a healthy relationship. Either or both you and your new partner are acting out of the feel-good hormones. That’s why in this article, we will tell you all about the futility in rushing things, signs, and what you can do to prevent this from happening.

What Is Considered Moving Too Fast In A Relationship? 

Moving too fast in a relationship generally refers to a pace that surpasses the comfort level and readiness of one or both partners. You are falling in love too quickly, you are giving each other expensive gifts, you have already introduced each other to your families, you are going on double dates, doing grand gestures, everyone knows you have become exclusive, and within a few dates, you are living together.

That’s the kind of ridiculous pace you tend to move in when your romantic relationship timing is off. They could be great. No doubt about that. This person could even be your “The One And Only”. However, this doesn’t justify the speed with which you are proceeding. This is a classic whirlwind romance where a person develops feelings quickly and intensely, often characterized by passionate emotions, intense attraction, and demanding commitment. 

According to a survey done by eHarmony, the average time a man takes to fall in love is 88 days, whereas a woman takes 134 days. That’s the average progression of a relationship. But if in your initial phase of the relationship, the two of you said those magic words before even 30 days, there’s a chance the two of you will face problems down the lane. That’s one of the major consequences of moving too fast in a relationship. 

15 Signs Your Relationship Is Moving Too Fast

The thrill and excitement of meeting someone new blinds people. Hence, they forget to see the potential red flags in that person. To make you a little more self-aware about your decisions, we are here to show you all the signs of women and men who move too fast in relationships.

1. You think your partner is perfect 

“Who is this perfectly flawless angel that has descended from heaven and landed in my life?” If you are thinking like this in the early stages of your relationship, it’s possible that your logic has vanished and your brain is being dominated by love hormones. You are still in your honeymoon phase and you think that your love interest can do no wrong. 

While it’s possible to have a lover that makes your life beautiful. You may even think of them as a knight in the shining armor. However, to think that they are perfect and flawless is silly and immature. Nobody is perfect. If you think your partner is immaculate and unblemished, it is because you don’t know them well enough. Your relationship progress is fast and you need to slow down. 

2. You’re smooshing, smashing, and shaking sheets

The fact that you are just having sex all the time is a clear sign that your relationship lacks depth. The sexual chemistry may be through the roof but where is the emotional connection? You can’t consider this a wholesome and healthy relationship just because you fulfill each other’s sexual needs.

According to research, just sex and no emotional accessibility is more likely to produce mate expulsion and break ups. Therefore, if your relationship is all about sex, it is very likely that you will soon get bored of each other and the lovey-dovey feelings will soon die. Such a pace also indicates your relationship will not last forever.

3. You have already met each other’s families

What do you mean your new partner is taking you to a BBQ dinner at his parent’s place? You just met them two weeks ago and you have already met your partner’s friends and family. If you can relate to this, then you have some problems to address. This union won’t result in a long-term relationship as the two of you are rushing things.

We don’t mean to be pessimistic or rude but you need to be giving importance to other things right now, such as getting to know each other on a deeper level or going on fun dates that don’t always end in sex. 

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4. Relationship labels have come into play 

If you have already started addressing each other as boyfriend and girlfriend after going on a few dates, it’s one of the telltale signs you are rushing things. Perhaps they have started calling you as their partner and you aren’t on the same page as them. This also is a sign of too much too soon.

Good things take time. You can’t change your relationship status on social media as “In a relationship” without knowing them in and out. That’s a red flag. You need to know your partner well-enough to at least go from dating to casual dating. 

5. There is no emotional connection 

Emotional intimacy is important in fostering trust and bringing two people together on a deeper level. Here are some things that indicate your lack of emotional intimacy with your love interest:

• Neither of you has been vulnerable with one another
• You don’t know what their childhood was like
• You know nothing about their fears and insecurities
• You haven’t seen their bad side or weaknesses
• You haven’t seen them at their worst

Moreover, you don’t even know what their favorite movie is. You don’t feel connected emotionally. You can sense it but you choose to ignore it. All these things scream you have considered them as your life partner early. You need to slow down.

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6. There is love bombing 

Making grand gestures, buying expensive and lavish gifts, constantly sending you text messages, and demanding your attention all the time — a classic case of love bombing and these are warning signs that your relationship is moving ahead at warp speed. 

Love bombing actually feels lovely in the beginning. A person showers all their time, energy, and love on you. They call you cute pet names. They make you feel like you are the most important person on earth. But what you don’t realize is that your relationship is heading for a slow death. The moment they get bored of you, they will discard you or vice versa. If you feel like you are being love bombed, then there are chances of you moving too quickly in your relationship. Always be rational and logical when you are falling in love. 

7. You have stopped meeting your friends 

What is considered moving too fast in a relationship? When you stop meeting your closest friends and family members. You don’t get to spend time with your family friends anymore but you meet your partner’s friends and family friends. You have made your new significant other the center of your universe.

Let’s put it this way — one person can’t become your whole world. They can either be a big or small part of your world but never the world itself. Therefore, you can’t let go of your other relationships for one person. That’s called isolating yourself. It can harm you down the road.

8. You feel pressured to keep up with their emotions 

They said I love you. So you said it back. They wanted to be physically intimate. So you consented to it. They wanted commitment. You gave that too. All relationship milestones are being initiated by your partner and you feel pressured to say yes to them all.

This is subtle and indirect coercion. You are either giving in to their demands because you are smitten or because you are afraid of being alone. This is one of the warning signs you shouldn’t ignore: 

9. Your partner has unrealistic expectations 

Your partner has unrealistic expectations of what you should provide or how the relationship should progress. They have sky high expectations that you will fix all their problems and you will bring all the happiness in their life. Basically, you have to make your partner happy. 

It’s as if they are the director of this love story and want everything to be picture perfect. You are required to meet all their emotional needs and there is no personal space anymore. All these things aren’t the honeymoon phase. But they are also warning signs for you to take control of the situation.

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10. You have lost your individuality 

You don’t know who you are outside of this relationship. All you are now is this person’s partner. You have stopped indulging in your hobbies. You don’t do the things you like. You only go to restaurants your partner suggests. You have confused sacrifice with compromise and think that this is how love is supposed to be. 

No. Love is supposed to be delicate. It waits silently and flows like a river at its own pace. It will let you fly and find your true self. A happy relationship is where you get to be free. On the other hand, relationships fail when people lose their individuality. 

11. You have stopped making decisions independently

Your partner is getting involved in every aspect of your life. You ask your partner for everything. You ask them where to have dinner and what you should wear. You even go to them for your work issues.

The fact that you have stopped making your own decisions shows that you are in a codependent relationship. You are heavily relying on your partner for everything just in the beginning of your relationship. 

12. This is a rebound relationship 

This is a rebound relationship for either you or your partner. Someone is trying to get over their ex by taking things at a breakneck speed. When you get into a rebound relationship, it’s a way of suppressing your feelings. You can’t jump from one person to another without properly healing. 

Even research suggests that rebound relationships often don’t work out because individuals may enter them shortly after the end of a previous relationship, before fully healing emotionally. On the other hand, if you have recovered from your past breakup, then the rebound relationship will be more fulfilling and satisfying. 

You think this person will solve all your problems, and you won’t ever have to deal with your breakup. That’s not true. Talk to your partner and find out if they have healed from their past. If not, ask them to do so before proceeding.

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13. You still aren’t over your ex

If you or your partner aren’t over previous relationships, then that could be one of the signs your relationship is moving too fast. If you want to pave a relationship for the long haul, you need to get over your ex before dating someone else. You cannot be with someone else while constantly thinking about your ex.

People rush into relationships, thinking new happiness will make them forget about old sorrows. In reality, they may make you forget about your ex for a while, but once the honeymoon phase fades, your own feelings will come back, and more problems will arise. 

14. There are no boundaries 

Are we moving too fast after only a few weeks of knowing each other? Yes, if you and your partner have known each other only for a while and they have already started invading your boundaries. Some of the examples included:

• They already know how much you earn, your financial habits, and goals
• Invading personal space without consent, such as going through personal belongings, invading the bathroom during private moments, or touching without permission
• Borrowing money without asking, spending your money without your knowledge, or assuming control over their financial decisions
• They don’t respect your time and work by constantly interrupting you 

If your partner does all these things, it is evident that it’s too early to make big decisions like moving in together or getting married. 

15. You feel suffocated 

You feel trapped in this relationship and you wonder why you said yes to them in the first place. You are overwhelmed by their sudden closeness in just a few months. You have forgotten your dreams and ambitions. You have forgotten yourself and do not know how to love yourself anymore. It’s all about the relationship.

You feel overwhelmed by their constant dependency, their cunning ways of exerting control, and your loss of autonomy. These are major signs that you are in a toxic and unhealthy relationship. 

Once you recognize these signs, it’s best to take matters into your own hands and slow down the relationship. 

How To Slow Down A Relationship That Is Moving Too Fast? 

Relationship moving fast but feels right? Then you don’t need to break it off. Slowing down a relationship will be a wise decision to ensure that both partners are comfortable and that a healthy foundation is being built. Here’s how you can go about it:

1. Practice self-reflection 

This is the first step you need to take when you have realized your relationship is moving too fast. Sit back and do the following things:

• Find the right time and sit in a quiet place 
• Take time to understand your own needs
• Explore your emotions and feelings for this person
• Think of the comfort level of this relationship. Are you still uncomfortable around this person’s presence? 
• Ask yourself how you feel about their constant need for attention and affection 
• Reflect on your core values and long-term goals 

2. Communicate with your partner 

Have open and honest conversations with your partner. Express your feelings, concerns, and the need to slow down. But how to tell someone the relationship is moving too fast? Here are some tips on the right way to communicating with your partner:

• Wait for the proper time when they are not busy 
• Use “I” statements instead of “You”
• Don’t use hyperbolic words like “always” and “never”
• Don’t use condescending tone 
• Express your feelings clearly 
• Be specific of your wants and needs
• Listen actively when they are talking 

3. Set boundaries 

Setting boundaries is important as it protects your emotional well-being by preventing situations that cause discomfort, anxiety, or stress. Furthermore, when boundaries are respected, relationships create a positive and comfortable environment for growth and connection. Therefore, set boundaries in your new relationship with your partner by:

• Clearly defining your personal boundaries
• Discuss the amount of time you want to spend together
• Talk about the pace of physical intimacy and the level of emotional disclosure
• Engage in meaningful and serious conversations 
• Explain your reasons 
• Be consistent 

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4. Allocate personal time 

Personal time allows you to focus on your well-being, recharge, and engage in activities that bring you joy and relaxation. You need to spend alone time to regain your individuality by: 

• Prioritizing your own needs
• Spending time apart and engaging in individual activities and hobbies
• Don’t involve your partner in these hobbies even if they have free time. Tell them you want to do these things alone 

This will give you both the space you need to recharge and maintain your individual identities.

5. Limit future planning

Premature future plans can create pressure on both partners to commit to a path they might not be ready for or fully comfortable with. So, hold off on making major commitments like:

• Moving in together
• Discussing long-term plan especially if you don’t see a future together 
• Talking about marriage or having kids 
• Moving to a different city 

Hold off these conversations until you feel more comfortable and confident about the relationship’s pace.

6. Pause physical intimacy 

If the physical aspect has been moving too quickly, consider slowing it down and focusing on building emotional intimacy first. Instead, do the following things:

• Practice physical touch like hand holding 
• Platonic cuddling 
• Giving each other massages 
• Gaze into each other’s eyes
• Have intimate conversations and talk about personal things like fears, traumas, and childhood scars 
• Spend quality time watching movies 

7. Be firm in your decisions 

Once you have decided to take things slow, you need to be firm in your decision by:

• Regularly checking in with yourself and your feelings
• Looking at the progress you’ve made 
• Sticking to your boundaries and reaffirming them when it is invaded 
• Not letting your partner manipulate or gaslight you 

Remember, a healthy and strong relationship is built on mutual understanding, respect, and open communication. These are not one-size-fits-all situations. However, slowing down is essential if you want this relationship to survive. And slowing down doesn’t mean you are ending the relationship. It means taking the necessary steps to ensure that it grows at a pace that’s right for both of you. So, slow down and savor the chapters of your relationship instead of skipping ahead and missing the good parts.