For all those caressing a heartbreak, we’ve got 18 empowering strategies that tell you how to make him feel guilty for hurting you. Now, before you go thinking we’re advocating for revenge or unhealthy behavior, rest assured that our motive here is to empower you and to make him feel bad for hurting you. You can make him regret hurting you or leaving you to set boundaries and work toward your emotional well-being. 

Love is a rollercoaster of emotions, taking you high up in the sky at once and giving you that exuberant feeling, only to get your heart sinking as it hits low with a plunge. What, then, offers respite is a cooling balm that can soothe the pain of heartache.

How To Make Him Feel Guilty for Hurting You: 18 Powerful Strategies

One may think that the person who has hurt you whether with words or actions will reflect upon their deeds and feel sorry about it. Ironically, research has it that men feel less guilt than woman. Men, the more self-centred gender do not think much on how their actions affect others. It seems pointless to let him know he hurt you – he’s lost you anyways. It is essential to make them feel guilty for hurting you to make them perfectly aware of their bad behavior. And that is where we help you

While this may ensue a tussle between your head and heart, each encouraging you to drop the plan to make him feel guilty for hurting you, trust us when we say that it is crucial for your mental health.

It doesn’t matter if other women react differently; you do what helps you overcome the painful experience. All the agony and distress might leave you perplexed thinking, “What can I say to make him feel guilty? I must make him realize my importance!” So, here are a few ways to trick a romance scammer and make him feel guilty. And who knows, this might elicit a heartfelt apology too as they realize their mistake?! 

1. Communicate your pain

The best way to make someone feel bad for leaving you is to bluntly tell them how deeply hurt you are. Open and honest communication holds the key to a clear conscience . Make sure that you abide by these: 

  • Let him know how his behavior made you feel
  • Be honest about your own emotions but refrain from mud-slinging and name-calling acts
  • Express yourself during a calm moment without overstepping the boundaries
  • Keep your tone non-confrontational
  • Use “I” statements, remember you are not out for blaming him but letting him know how it has impacted you

This can also help you process your emotions and vent them as you acknowledge and voice your pain, allowing it to come to the fore. If he is a decent person, he will understand and acknowledge your pain, taking responsibility of his actions.

2. Set healthy boundaries

Setting boundaries is a powerful way of guarding yourself against unwarranted behavior. Relationships thrive on healthy boundaries. You need to protect yourself by defining the peripheral limits and sticking to them. Let him know what behavior is not acceptable and be firm in enforcing those boundaries. 

If someone has been hurtful, do not be afraid of asserting yourself and standing up for yourself. Communicate what is acceptable and what is not. Let them know that you value yourself and your mental sanity. Upon realizing that you will not accept disrespectful behavior, he’ll feel guilty and mend his ways.

3. Treat them the way you wanted to be treated 

The golden rule of dating puts this forth as “treat others the way you want to be treated.” We know how tempting it can be to go the ‘tit for tat’ route and reciprocate the same vengeance that they inflicted on you.

But, for once, treat them with kindness and empathy, as you would want them to treat you, to highlight the difference between you two. This will not only drive the point home, that is make them feel bad, but will also save your energy. Positivity and empathy take up lesser mental space, ensuring you your peace of mind. 

Show them that you have a bigger heart that accommodates warmth and friendliness even for those who serve unjustified rudeness. Treating them with kindness sets forth a positive example for them to follow. Retribution and revenge are only going to make matters worse, filling you up with negativity. Instead, choose peace of mind and put an end to the vicious cycle of pain and hurtful behavior. 

4. Shift your focus

How to make him feel guilty for hurting you? Show him how well you are doing without him! This is the best revenge you can hurl at him – enjoy your life to the fullest. Do not allow him to occupy your mind. Move on and shift your focus onto things that are worthy of your time and attention.

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Be the star of your life and pursue things that you’ve always wanted to do. The very thought of making the guy feel guilty is undoubtedly appealing, but letting go of things will help you concentrate on your life and happiness. Do anything you want to, other than showing that you are sitting around waiting for him to come back. Let him regret the pain he caused, on his own.

5. Turn him a blind eye

At times, people take undue advantage of all the love and respect they get. Deprive him of all of that. Ignore him. Turn a blind eye to his existence. Don’t even be in the same room.  If you cannot completely ignore him, keep your responses sharp and monosyllabic. Just pull away from him, completely.

  • Delay answering his calls
  • Do not reply to his texts immediately
  • Act you are busy
  • Make excuses whenever they suggest meeting or catching up

We suggest you ignore them, but only for a while just enough to make them realize their mistake. This will give them some time to reflect on their actions or behavior. Do keep the communication channels open, since it is crucial for resolving the conflict. Just play your cards well and do not be readily available to them. 

he does not feel guilty
Image by stefamerpik on Freepik

8. Work toward your mental health

You are hurt and feeling upset. This is not where you wanted to be, especially after giving your all to a relationship. You feel invalidated, betrayed and alone.

Vulnerable times such as these take a toll on our sanity. Keeping your personal and professional life separate is easier said than done. Your work life starts to get affected beacuse your heart is scattered into a million pieces. It is easy losing track of your life and getting caught in depression.

But you are your own hero. Take charge of your life. Take care of your mental health and emerge stronger and more resilient. If things get too murky to handle, do not shy away from seeking support. Professional help can restore emotional balance and well-being.

  • Take counseling or therapy sessions
  • Allow yourself to feel the feelings
  • Do not be harsh on yourself
  • Join support groups, if need be
  • Practice mindfulness
  • Meditate or practice yoga to find your inner calm

Having a strong sense of self will not only empower you but will also make him feel bad for hurting you when he notices your efforts to become the best version of yourself. If he know how much pain he has caused you, he will feel guilty for being the jerk he has been.

7. Seek solace in your friend circle

Don’t allow the pain to envelop you. The shadow of the hurtful behavior is sure to follow you but you have to ensure that you do not let it overpower you. Go out and make new friends, socialize with people, catch up with old friends, and surround yourself with people who value you. 

When Sarah went through a difficult breakup, she was emotionally shattered. Instead of staying locked up in a room, she went out and joined a few communities to build friendships. That one move allowed her to overcome the heartache and grow as an individual. Her ex noticed Sarah basking in her newly found self-dependence and started to regret losing her. 

Read This: Emotional Detachment In Your Relationship- Causes, Signs, And Coping Tips

8. Trust the process   

It is not for nothing that time is called the greatest healer. Instead of taking it upon yourself as a vengeful task, just let the storm of emotions pass by. Take some time to process your emotions. Step back and be patient with yourself. 

This will also allow your partner or your ex to interpret their actions and the huge impact they have had on your long-term relationship. Most guys are filled up with remorse and repentance upon being allowed the time to decode their own actions. Rushing them to feel guilty is pointless. Instead, give them a little while and see them well up with emotions. 

9. Do not let him feel you have forgotten or forgiven

Your guy may try to gaslight you or manipulate you by blaming someone else for his actions. He may play the victim card. He may also try to make you think as if you are making a huge issue over a small, trivial matter. Or perhaps he may simply accuse you of over-reacting.

He may try to deflect the guilt onto you, tell you how you are simply being unreasonable, or how because of something you said or you did he reacted impulsively. This is what gaslighters do.

If you get carried away by any of these manipulative tactics, he will assume you have either forgotten or forgiven. The thing is, when they realise their tactics are not working on you, they will be forced to reflect on what they did.

10. Confide in a mutual friend 

You must have had mutual friends with your partner, people who have been a witness to your relationship. Confessing to them or giving them an insight into the malicious behavior can be more helpful than you think.

Do not think of it as gossiping around or defaming them. Let it be a genuine outburst or flow of emotions. Spending time with such mutual friends can help you heal better. They might be able to support you in making him feel guilty about his actions. They might encourage him to reflect on his behavior and take remedial measures. 

Confide in a mutual friend
Image by yanalya on Freepik

11. Focus on self-improvement

Much like maintaining your mental sanity, self-improvement in other aspects is equally important. 

  • Focus on building up your self-confidence and self-esteem
  • Acquire new skills
  • Take up challenges
  • Pursue a hobby or interest
  • Work toward your life-goals
  • Follow your dreams and passions
  • Practice self-love
  • Nurture your self-respect

Once he sees you guarding your self-respect, he will be cautious of inflicting pain on you. As you work toward bettering yourself, he will find it difficult to cross the boundaries you have set and would never think of hurting you.

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12. Define your expectations from the relationship

If you’ve been wondering how to make him feel guilty for hurting you, then this will help you get out of the rut. Clearly defining your expectations from the relationship will send your message loud and clear. Be clear in your own approach to the relationship. Know what you want from the relationship and do not compromise on that. You deserve to get what your want and you need not settle for anything less. 

Stand your ground and do not let your partner undermine your emotions. No matter how hurtful they are, you need to assert yourself with confidence. When he sees your self-assuredness, he is sure to feel guilty for hurting you.

 13. Send him a text to make him feel guilty for hurting you

Address the elephant in the room. Do not beat about the bush or brush things under the carpet. Express your thoughts. Communicate your feelings. If you think that it is best to text to make him feel guilty for hurting you, then do so.

Steer clear of accusations and blame game. Instead, give vent to your feelings. Remember, a heartfelt and carefully thought-out message can strike the right chords of his heart, deeply stirring him to contemplate on his actions. Focus on expressing your emotions and not on manipulating him. 

14. Apologize if you are wrong

No matter how counterintuitive it may sound, a heartfelt apology does go a long way to make someone feel bad for leaving you. Let him know he hurt you indirectly. Also, do not forget to apologize for any of your actions if you, in the heat of the moment, have rubbed them the wrong way. 

Think over your own actions to see if you have contributed to the conflict in any way. This is indicative of your own maturity and emotional intelligence while highlighting their utter lack of it. 

A sincere and genuine apology on your part can have a tremendous impact on your relationship. As you take responsibility for your actions, you lead them by example and move ahead constructively. 

 15. Validate your feelings

Before you proceed to make him feel bad for hurting you, you need to give your feelings and thoughts their due importance. Do not ever question your emotions or trivialize the matter. You need to acknowledge your feelings and validate them. Remember, that he was the one who behaved wrongly and that you have every right to feel betrayed or offended. Do not feel guilty for feeling your feelings. 

While you respect your emotions, do not let him forget his misdoings. This does not mean that it should raise its head in every conversation, but do not let him downplay or undervalue your feelings either. 

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16. Do not play the victim card 

You are not a damsel in distress. Avoid portraying yourself as the victim on whom all the hell broke loose. Staying true to your feelings is indispensable but not at the cost of defaming the other person. An earnest expression of your emotions can only add value to your relationship. Let him know he’s losing you without stooping low. 

When things go south, do not ever present yourself as a helpless victim. You are capable and strong and should approach relationship challenges with confidence. When he perceives you as a strong person who is not afraid of voicing her feelings, he will admit to repenting his decisions. 

17. Adopt a kind and gentle approach

You might be harmlessly trying to test a romance scammer, but one thing you should keep in mind is to be kind and gentle. Do not go down the mean and nasty route that portrays you as Cruella. Lashing out in anger, resorting to physical revenge, or causing harm should never be your motive when you make a guy feel guilty. 

To outsmart a player is one thing but hurting someone physically or emotionally is another. The thin line demarcating the two should never be blurred. Remember, your goal is not to manipulate or seek revenge, but to promote self-growth and encourage empathy in both yourself and him. 

18. Use social media to let him know

Block him. Unfriend him. Delete his number. Let your social media be bustling with your new life and new friends, and let him know this through one of his friends. If he has attacked your self-esteem and it has shook you, do not let him know that. Work o yourself in silence while these moves send him the message. He sure is not off the hook.

Your withdrawal from their life will undoubtedly affect them, leaving them behind with a vacuum. They have taken you for granted but not anymore. It’s time to show him your worth. 

  • Spend time with other people
  • Explore newer interests and hobbies
  • Find your true calling
  • Pursue your dreams and aspirations
  • Lead your best life

Once they realize what they have lost, they are certain to see their wrongdoings. Sooner or later, they will understand their folly and start appreciating you more. 

Key Takeaways

  • Communicate how you feel, by texting, talking or giving silent treatment
  • Focus on yourself, do not get hurt get the better of you
  • Do not let them gaslight or manipulate you and invalidate your hurt
  • Seek professional therapy to calm your mind and move forward

These strategies are meant to make you feel empowered. Following these can assist you in healing your emotions, and promote understanding. As you embark on this journey of self-discovery, keep in mind that everyone’s healing process is different, and it’s essential to prioritize your well-being throughout.

As you continue to invest in your own growth and happiness, people around you, including him, may begin to recognize your value and the impact of their actions. Trust that with time, the right person will recognize your value and treat you with the love and respect you deserve.