A few happy dates, romantic tête-à-têtes and long walks holding his hand – it’s been hard to climb down from cloud nine. And then, snap! Radio silence. Suddenly you hit a wall of distance between you two. He is not responding to your texts, not returning your phone calls. No wonder you have been worried about how to get his attention when he ignores you.
The act of ignoring in a relationship doesn’t always come in the shape and form of ghosting. He can be sitting next to you and still make you feel invisible. You can meet him seven days a week and still crave your man’s attention. And it leaves you a bit confused, doesn’t it?
Has he been too busy to talk?
Or his interest in you and the relationship waned off?
Have you done something or said something that he decided to block you from his life?
Before you lose your mind, let’s help you understand why a guy would the cold shoulder to his partner and some non-desperate ways to get a man’s attention back.
What’s He Thinking When He Ignores You?
When a guy ignores you, you want to know what’s going on in his mind. Not knowing what can drive you crazy. Well, there could be a hundred possible explanations and not necessarily all of them start and end with you.
Before you take the entire burden of his indifference on yourself, explore with us the various reasons why he might be ignoring you:
- Balancing work and family/relationships is not everyone’s cup of tea. Sometimes, you can give him the benefit of the doubt if he says he is busy because he probably is
- When a guy ignores you but likes you, chances are he is going through some personal issues or facing challenges in other fields of life
- If you have just started dating and not labeled the relationship yet, we can’t rule out the possibility of him keeping his options open. You don’t have his full attention because he is spending time talking to other potential partners and might be seeing someone else
- When he ignores you on purpose, it is probably a part of his highly calculated mind games. He is playing hard to get to make you chase him even more
- A guy can be genuinely interested in you and still stop texting. Yes, the fear of rejection is real. He might be insecure about your feelings for him and takes the escape route to avoid being dumped
- While deciphering why a man ignores his (potential) partner, commitment phobia certainly comes into focus. Is he interested? Yes. But are his feelings strong enough to be with you in a serious, long-term relationship? No. Hence the indifference
- You and your guy may not be on the same page or simply be incompatible. You are at a point where you invited him to dinner with your parents and he is trying to take things slow. He doesn’t know how to communicate his need for space without making you feel bad and he thought ignoring you would be less complicated
- Guys ignore their partners when they have done something awful. Perhaps he broke his promise or maybe even cheated on you. If you catch him avoiding eye contact, it’s a sign he is ashamed of his actions because he knows he messed up
- We are not here to point fingers but think, did you, by any chance, hurt his feelings or worse, his self-respect? Then it’s a no-brainer why he won’t talk – he is mad at you
- Finally, we hate to bear bad news, but your man’s attention has been waning because he has lost interest in you and this relationship. It’s time to put on a brave face if you’re determined to get his love back
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13 Ways To Get His Attention When He Ignores You
If any of the above reasons resonate with your situation, you might have drawn some inference. So yes, the guy you imagines a ‘happily forever’ is suddenly off your radar but you want to know how to get his attention when he ignores you.
If this game of ‘hide-and-seek’ aka the communication gap persists for too long, it’s going to build an emotional distance in your relationship. And that might be hard to get past through. So, we have to act fast and find subtle ways to get his attention back.
It’s not going to be easy. You may have to bend toward some feminine tricks and mind games.
But with a little patience, empathy, and trust in the person you love, you’ll have him right where you want him—in your arms. Stay with us as we walk you through these 13 fail-proof ways to get his attention when he ignores you:
1. Respect his boundaries
Intentionally or unintentionally, our romantic partners often intervene in our life in a way we absolutely do not like. Happens with all of us.
Continual texting, constant scrutiny, discussion of some personal matter in front of your friends, making decisions for you—it all can frustrate a person to such an extent that they drift away. Please don’t be that girlfriend/partner! No one wants a partner to act like their parent.
If he is not comfortable receiving a video call during office hours, spare him that space and time. If he wants to spend two evenings in a row with the boys, leave him be. If he wants to spend a day doing nothing, let him have that occasional off.
Your thoughtfulness will come back to you in terms of his love and attention.
2. Communicate – ask why your boyfriend ignores you
It’s time you started talking with your partner and addressed the elephant in the room. Without open communication, your imaginations will run wild and both of you will end up assuming inane things about each other.
Seeing you with your friends, he might think you have more fun when he is not around or perhaps you deserve someone better. He may even assume you like another guy. And he’ll try not to step on your toes.
You on the other hand may take his silence as a sign of lost interest or infidelity. His attitude may make you feel like he does not want a relationship with you. Yes, it could get that complicated and messy.
Just because you did not communicate when you should have. Or you did not communicate the right way.
Before your suspicions and speculations take your relationship down with them, have a meaningful conversation. The focus should be on the problem, not the person. Dig out when he ignores you on purpose, what makes him act that way.
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3. Make him feel needed
Wondering how to get his attention when he ignores you? Here’s a way to do damage control.
If he feels left out, make him see that he is an integral part of your life. Introduce him to your friends and family; include him in a conversation that doesn’t concern him at all.
Take one step ahead and ask for his opinion or help on an important thing. You know men can’t see a damsel in distress. He won’t be able to stop himself from jumping in with both feet and rescue you from your misery.
In the end, it will wash away your emotional disconnection and get you closer than ever.
4. Explore new ways of communication
I once dated a guy online who would reply to my texts in barely one or two words. You can guess how annoyed every conversation with him made me feel. Then we exchanged numbers and, oh boy, this dry texter had turned into a smooth-talking ladies’ man!
So you see, everyone is not so great with all modes of communication. You might be a texter, he might simply be better at talking. And some people need a little ‘outside’ help (remember Raj from The Big Bang Theory).
That’s a trick to get his attention when he ignores you over text. Not replying to your texts? Get on a call, meet him for a coffee.
And when you do so, focus on non-verbal communication. Keep your phone aside, maintain eye contact, nod when he is talking, gently stroke his arms or back. It will show him you are present in the moment and he’ll warm up to you again.
5. Take an interest in his life
To keep him interested in you, you will also have to show an interest in this person and that’s one of the most non-desperate ways to get a man’s attention back. It’s really very simple.
- Ask him about his day; try to get to know him
- Respect his likes and dislikes—find some common interests
- Spend more time with him doing what he loves
- Discuss your future with him as a couple
- Make time to know each other minus the digital distractions
These small steps can go a long way toward making things better in a relationship.
6. Know that being rude will not make your case
We won’t blame you if you’re raging mad when he suddenly ignores you out of nowhere. However, trust us, fighting it out is not the way to go if you want someone’s attention back.
If you start blaming him for everything wrong in the relationship, things between you two will escalate and drive him further away. Infact, he will run away because even though he has strong feelings for you, he is scared. And your rude attitude will drive him further away.
As we said, open communication is the key. Confront him but with empathy and respect. Keep an open mind to listen to his view and acknowledge his side of the story.
7. Compliment him
One of the attention hooks that will never fail you. Guys may not express it in so many words but they do wait for a heartfelt compliment from their favorite person.
When you are pouting about “My boyfriend is ignoring me after a fight and I don’t know how to make it up to him”, just send a compliment in his inbox.
Appreciate his efforts, tell him how dashing he looked in the black shirt the other night. He will drop his ego in a second and come running back to you fishing for more.
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8. Go on with your life
One person ignoring you is not the end of the world. If the two of you truly matter to each other, then you will find a way of clearing up your personal issues.
Meanwhile, the show must go on! Do not let a man’s attention or lack of it bring down your spirit and self-esteem.
Rather show him that you are not affected by his silent treatment—this will change his ways and perception toward you.
So do your own thing, have fun on that hiking trip, keep busy at work, focus on self-care—just be your best self. He’ll eventually start noticing and stop ignoring you.
9. Make him jealous
Okay, enough of playing nice. It’s time we stepped this game up a notch and pulled in some of the feminine tricks we spoke of earlier.
You have tried staying positive and doing the mature thing. If that isn’t working, well, whip out the big guns. In that, jealousy works like a charm on guys.
Obviously, that doesn’t mean you have to overdo it to try proving a point. Maybe you can reactivate your Bumble account. Go out for coffee with a guy friend and post cute pictures on the ‘gram.
Start talking with someone from his office so the news reaches him. The goal is to trigger the fear of losing out in him and half your problems will be taken care of.
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10. Should I ignore a guy to get his attention? Yes, give him a taste of his own medicine
Okay, don’t put it on the top of your list but for a plan B, playing hard to get is a tried and tested way to get back someone’s attention. Let’s treat silent treatment with silent treatment. Don’t answer his calls, stop texting, and ghost him on social media.
Shun him away socially as well. Hide that sparkle in your eyes when he walks into a room. Avoid eye contact when he is around and never be the first one to strike up a conversation.
Stop texting him completely. Do not reply even if he sends you a cute cate meme. The lack of attention will drive him crazy. It always takes guys a push to realize that he was wrong to take you for granted.
11. Unleash your inner tease
“Should I ignore a guy to get his attention”, you ask. Well, instead of using the no-contact method, as good as it is, we can try to tickle his fancy. Works nine out of ten times to get a guy to stop ignoring you.
So when you are going to see him next at a party, bring out that sex-back-tie dress that has been rotting in your closet for so long. Pair it with an alluring red lipstick, and he will be attracted like a moth to the flame.
Tease him playfully; rub yourself against him as you walk past each other. Let the eye contact attraction take on your chemistry.
The most important thing is to leave him wanting more. Try sending flirtatious texts to a guy if you want to get his attention when he ignores you online. It will revive his interest in no time.
12. Want to get his attention when he ignores you over text? Leave him on seen
How to get his attention when he ignores you over text? Remember nobody likes to be hanging in the seen zone. When a guy won’t talk to you on purpose, just leave the conversation halfway.
Open his messages and don’t respond. Don’t be afraid to vex him. There’s nothing wrong with showing him the mirror when he doesn’t acknowledge how he has been hurting your feelings.
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13. Stop saying ‘yes’ to everything
When he asks you to pick up his sister at the airport at 2 am and you show up, no question asked, it makes him think he can walk all over you.
And from that sense of entitlement, a person starts to ignore you. If you haven’t had a chance to nip it in the bud, let’s do so now.
Quit being at his constant beck and call and start saying ‘no’. Now, focus on the other priorities of your life and protect your boundaries. That is how you are going to gain his respect and attention back. You deserve better, girl!
How To Deal With A Guy Who Ignores You – 5 Helpful Tips
If you are trying out what we discussed so far to pique your guy’s interest, then you’re in the right direction.
After all, it isn’t easy being with a person who doesn’t give you any heed, much less be in a relationship with him. He has hurt you and you are well within your senses to make him feel guilty about hurting you.
Here are some bits of helpful advice for your plight so you can stay strong in the process and see it through:
- Don’t sell out your values: Relationships are built on a lot of give-and-take and require many sacrifices. We are confident you will find your best recourse to get over this hurdle. But may what comes, never abandon your self-respect, your morals and values that make you a unique individual
- Be the reason for your own happiness: Our codependent nature often makes us live on validation and attention from other people. Unless you try to become an emotionally independent person who’s happy inside, no amount of attention from your romantic partners will ever seem enough
- Stop chasing him: It’s a good sign to keep your hopes up and put in the effort when necessary. But there is a difference between trying to make things work and chasing a person incessantly no matter how they treat you. There is only so much you can do to keep a person interested in a relationship, understand that
- Take a break: We are not asking you to run away whenever you are facing challenges. You don’t have to end things with your partner for good. Taking a brief break from the relationship might help you clear your head and evaluate your feelings and expectations from each other
- Offer him an exit route: This is going to be hard. But it’s a move we suggest you make to hold your head high and stay in or leave this partnership with respect. Tell him that you don’t deserve the constant cold-shouldering and be explicit about what you want or don’t want from him going forward. Given all that, if he wants to walk out, you will be okay with that decision. It will save you both the time and energy of dragging along a dead-end relationship
We don’t know about you but it was quite an emotional roller-coaster for us walking you through the different shades of a relationship turmoil. Let’s hope you have the answer to ‘how to get his attention when he ignores you’.
Key Takeaways
- If a guy suddenly starts to ignore you, it can cause huge mental distress and that is understandable
- If you are keen to know why is he acting the way he is, open the gate of open and honest comminication
- Alongwith some meaningful communication, some psychological tricks may help you deal with the situation effectively
- In the end, if the relationship is getting hard to sustain and you are the only one bearing the weight, it is best to let it down
- In all this chaos, do not forget you are first and foremost responsible for your well-being and happiness
Just remember, open communication and radio silence both can be powerful ammunitions in fighting an indifferent guy. The results depend on how and when you implement them. We have no doubt you will make a sound decision!