Of course, times have changed, and even women can ask a guy out. But why waste an opportunity to learn how to get a guy to ask you out? You never know when you will need these tips. What if the guy you have fallen for is suddenly giving you mixed signals and you think he may reject you if you ask him out? What if he simply says that the two of you are just friends and nothing more? 

To save you from potential heartbreak and make you go aww when the guy of your dreams finally asks you out, we are here with some tips that you can utilize. These tips can help you get a guy in college to hang out with you or make a colleague ask you out on a date.

You can be a bit flirty with him or wait for things to happen naturally. You can drop hints via text messages or through your body language when the two of you are around. We have many such fascinating tips for you. Just scroll down and read along.

11 Step-By-Step Strategies On How To Get A Guy To Ask You Out

Making the first move can be pretty daunting, especially if you’ve grown up in a patriarchal society. You can break the chains and get rid of the stereotypes by asking a guy out yourself. However, if you feel under-confident and are super afraid of rejection, then our below tips will help you find out how to get a guy to ask you out without looking desperate.

Do note that all it takes is to be the kind of woman guys cannot resist, and have a life that he wants to be a part of. The first in the list is to let him know you are ‘available’.

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1. Let him know you are single and open to dating

Now this is a tricky one, and most women mess it all up here. You aren’t directly asking him out, and you are not telling him about your feelings to his face. You are just letting him know that you are single and you wouldn’t mind going on a date with him.

This is not complicated: you try to find common interests with him and suggest that you do that activity together. If he mentions a restaurant he loves, tell him you’ve never been there. This will make him invite you for a meal soon. Find that common ground where the two of you can click.

Grab that opportunity and tell him you are free this weekend. Once the two of you are on a date, you can be direct and tell him you’ve enjoyed getting to know him, and you can also express your feelings clearly.

2. Slay him with your confidence

Not literally but yeah… You get the point. Research claims that confidence is a highly attractive quality, and men find confident potential partners more desirable. Men are attracted to confident women because it often signifies a strong sense of self-assurance.

They don’t get stressed out easily, they aren’t insecure, and they are less likely to be judgmental of others. Plus, they have a positive attitude toward life. So, try to be optimistic and show that you can handle challenges more effectively.

Feel confident in your own skin and your personality. Be secure. And men who appreciate confident women often value equality and are attracted to partners who are not confined by societal norms. However, there is a thin line between confidence and overconfidence. Don’t act too cocky and vainglorious and make him feel like he doesn’t deserve you. This will only drive him away.

How to ask a guy out without asking
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3. Be mysterious 

How to get a guy to ask you out online? In this era of oversharing, be different by creating mystery and curiosity. Women are certainly drawn toward mysterious men. That’s the case with men too.

They like a woman who doesn’t update every aspect of her life on social media. The areas of your life that remain hidden will pique a man’s interest. And as he gets curious and wants to know more about you, unfold your layers, one at a time.

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The energy and aura around you should make him want to know more. Use a little mystery and let him be pulled to you like two magnets coming in close proximity to one another. 

If you don’t know how to be mysterious, here are some traits you can inculcate in your personality:

  • Be engaged, yet reserved. Let an element of mystery remain while you reveal a thing or two about yourself 
  • Know your worth. Make it known to people around you that you won’t tolerate ill treatment 
  • Be attractive with your communication and body language, and have a delightful personality 
  • Don’t blow your own trumpet. Let others boast about your success 

3. How do you text a guy to get him to ask you out?

Here’s how to get a shy guy to ask you out for coffee—show genuine interest in him. You can do so by paying attention when he talks. Show that you are actively listening by making eye contact, nodding, and responding appropriately to what he is saying.

Show curiosity about his life, interests, and opinions. Ask open-ended and interesting questions that encourage him to share more about himself. This will let him know that you aren’t putting him in the friend zone, but you actually have a huge crush on him. A shy guy will only ask you out if they feel you like them back.

Take note of the things he shares with you, whether it’s about his hobbies, work life, family, or future dreams. In return, express your own passions and interests. Sharing your life experiences will create a sense of mutual understanding.

Lastly, when the two of you are together, throw away all the distractions like your mobile phone, television, and books. Show that you value his company. Show him you are interested in him, and he will feel encouraged to ask you for a casual date.

When asked on Reddit how women express their interest in men, a user replied, “It depends on how well I know the guy. If I barely know him or if he is a guy friend and we’re just in a class together, I will pay a lot of attention to him when he speaks up and I’m part of/solely the audience. I will also often have my leg crossed toward him or my body slightly directed toward him. I also definitely sneak lots of glances at him.”

5. Flirting with him can make him ask you out

Get him to ask for your number by flirting with him. Don’t just steal glances at him and expect him to assume that you are dropping hints. That’s not always going to work. According to research done by Monica M. Moore, an experimental psychologist who has been studying the art of flirting for more than 20 years, “To attract a man, women most often smile, glance, primp, laugh, giggle, toss their heads, flip their hair and whisper. Sometimes they hike their skirts, pat a buttock, hug, request a dance, touch a knee, and caress.”

Flirt with him to ask for your number
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Here are some more ways you can be flirty and make him forget about other women:

  • First, give him a glance and then a flirtatious smile
  • When you have caught his attention, say “hi” with a suggestive smile
  • Let your conversation gain momentum. Then, suggest hanging out in a group setting with mutual friends around 
  • Once you have his number, send flirty texts. Not raunchy, but flirty. You can also send hilarious memes, videos, or talk about a show you’ve just binge-watched on Netflix
  • Don’t forget to be humorous. Spend quality time with him. Share a funny story. Guys love a woman who can make them laugh

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6. Use positive and open body language 

Ask a guy out without asking directly, using positive body language. It conveys warmth, confidence, and approachability. Furthermore, your body language shouldn’t look forced. Keep it natural. Here are some key gestures and postures to exhibit: 

  • Maintain comfortable eye contact to show that you are engaged and interested in the conversation. Don’t stare. A soft gaze will do the job 
  • Many women don’t know this yet but here’s a fact: avoid crossing your arms. It signals defensiveness. Instead, keep your arms relaxed and by your sides
  • Subtly mirror the guy’s body language and create a sense of rapport and connection
  • Lean in slightly forward and show your interest in him
  • Be a bit flirty by touching his arms or grazing his thighs lightly if the two of you have known each other for a long time 

7. Talk but don’t eat his head off

Strike up a conversation, but don’t make it one-sided. If you find out that he likes the same things as you, then talk about that. Talk about your mutual interests and give personal space when required. You can’t keep using “I” sentences throughout the conversation and expect him to fall for you.

Conversations, just like relationships, have to be a two-way proposition that benefits both parties involved. 

How do you text a guy to get him to ask you out? Some text message examples include:

  • “Hey, Jim! I had a great time at the party last night. I wish we had more time to continue our conversation.”
  • “Hello, there. Just passed by the restaurant you mentioned. If you were here, we would have had a meal together.” 

Plus, you can talk about his weekend plans, his free time at home, his busy schedule at work, and stir the conversation in the right direction. Gently push him to open up by asking questions about his personal experience with love and relationships. Keep the chat lighthearted. 

A Reddit thread asked men whether they like talkative women or quiet women; a user replied, “Personally, I like talkative. But not so much that I struggle to take part in the conversation. I guess it’s a balance of talking and listening.” 

8. LOL at his jokes

Bad jokes, good jokes, and lame jokes Just laugh out loud at all of them. This is a subtle way of letting him know that you find him charming. When you laugh, you are expressing your glee and amusement. This can strengthen your bond with the cute guy and will further boost his confidence whenever you are around. 

How to make a shy guy ask you out
Image by Freepik

How do you encourage a man to ask you out? Express your happiness around him and laugh at his jokes. You just need to make sure that your laughter doesn’t sound forced or fake. Authenticity is the key in getting a guy to ask you out. If you find a guy’s joke genuinely funny, it is absolutely okay to laugh. Just be yourself and respond naturally to the situation.

9. Get a mutual friend to call you both a “couple”

This one’s a little sly, but hey, when you feel like straightforwardness doesn’t have a chance of working out, then you have to use crooked means to make a guy fall head over heels in love with you and make him ask you out. When the two of you are in a group setting, ask a friend to tease you with him. Make your friend express their desire to see you two together. And then, just brush off the topic in a playful way.

For example, something along the lines of, “Oh, you guys would make such a cute couple”. Explain your situation to this mutual friend beforehand, and tell them what’s acceptable and what’s not. Let them know that if the guy seems to be getting offended, then they don’t need to push the matter.

Get a mutual friend to call you both a “couple”
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10. Use the damsel in distress trope

Men like it when they become the knight in shining armor for women. Ace the “I need you” game by asking for help once in a while. Activate the hero instinct in him by making him feel needed and wanted, as if no one else but only he can help you. Don’t do it frequently, as this may make him feel like you are just taking advantage of him.

Men do love an independent woman, but they also like it when they take the lead from time to time. They love to be that alpha male who can help out women. The more he sees himself as a ‘hero’ in your life, the greater chances of him asking you out.

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Most guys love it when you make them feel like they are “the man”. Constantly stroke his ego by complimenting and praising him. Get him to ask for your number by asking for his advice. Tell him you are stuck in a difficult situation and you need his help. You can also allow him to do manly things for you, like fixing electrical faults, moving a sofa, or picking up something from the top shelf. 

11. Bring out jealousy in him

Jealousy is one of the emotions in human beings that we can’t run away from. This complex emotion comes out even more viciously when it has to do with romantic love. This is how to get a guy to ask you out.

So, if you want to get him to ask you to move in, try to make him want you badly by making him feel jealous. He might feel insecure if he already sees romantic potential in your current relationship status. If he likes you and feels you might move away, he may take the step of confessing his feelings for you.

Read This: Your Guide To Setting Healthy Dating Boundaries

However, don’t ruin a good chance with your own hands by overdoing it. Here are some ways you can make him feel jealous without going overboard:

  • Talk about other guys in his presence. Don’t say you are dating other guys or anything. Just talk about your male friend and how helpful and thoughtful he is 
  • Ignore his calls once in a while, but don’t overdo it. Find the right balance 
  • Let him know you are getting attention from other sources and that he isn’t the only one. Make him compete for your attention
  • Laugh at his friend’s jokes 
  • Gush over your celebrity crush 

Key Takeaways 

  • Get a guy’s attention by praising him, flirting with him, and giving him his personal space when required 
  • When trying to make a guy ask you out, don’t be too talkative and give off the impression of being too garrulous 
  • Play the damsel in distress. Invoke feelings in him that he is a “chad boy” and that he is the only one you seek help from
  • Most men cannot resist the temptation of being a ‘hero’ in a woman’s life

The above-listed tips can definitely create an opportunity where he may ask you out on a date. When played and timed right, these things happen naturally. What happens on a date rests solely on you. Be impressive, put your best foot forward, and make him realize that you could be the best thing he will ever have. From initiating conversations to asking interesting questions, make sure that you don’t bore him to death.

If he asks about your fun plans for the weekend, you cracked it. He is smitten. Just don’t be a walking red flag. Look your best. Keep him entertained. Make him laugh. Throw subtle hints at him that you like him using your body. He will definitely make the first move if he is the right guy for you. Good luck! 


How long does it take for a guy to ask a girl out? 

Honestly, there is no fixed timeframe for when a guy should ask a girl out. Every man and relationship is unique, so the timing can vary based on the people involved, their comfort levels, and the nature of their connection. Just be patient and allow your connection to eventually work and progress naturally into a relationship. 

How to get a guy to ask you out on a second date? 

On your first date, express your happiness that you are on a date with him. Be active and engaged. Don’t make him feel like you are bored and that you’d rather be home watching TV. Maintain a positive attitude throughout. Lastly, authenticity is key. Be genuine and let him see the real you. You can’t keep up with the facade for the rest of your life. So, appear as you are.