Marriage is a wonderful thing, but like all things nice, it can also get mundane and boring. Whether you are newly married or have been in a matrimonial alliance for decades, appreciating your spouse and letting them know how important they are to you can never get out of fashion.

In a healthy relationship, partners often do small acts of love and kindness to express their love and affection. In this article, let’s discuss how to be nice to your husband, and how this will further help steer your relationship toward positivity and happiness.

13 Simple Ways To Be Nice To Your Husband

Perhaps your relationship is going through a rough patch and you want to be helpful and supportive to your better half.

Or maybe you just want to have a loveable environment at home. Or you simply want to be nice to your husband because you want to invest in your marriage and make it happier.

Whatever your reason, we appreciate you for being someone who already cares for their husband and wants to make them happy.

With the 13 tips listed below, we are sure your husband will feel much appreciated and happy. He will feel lucky to have a thoughtful and understanding wife and this will further cement your bond.

Spouses who regularly make relational investments in their marriages lead thriving and fulfilling lives.

 So without further ado, lets dig in the simplest list that will help you be nice to your husband.

1. Appreciate him for all he does for you and the family

Most of us tend to celebrate people and appreciate them as yearly rituals, like on their birthdays. A cake here, a card there and a thank you note in the lunch box.

Imagine appreciating your husband every now and then because he is working hard for the family the whole year through.

Scientifically, a person who is often appreciated tends to feel more connected with other people. There is no bigger motivation than recognition, and it’s not hard to make someone feel appreciated.

  • Simple everyday statements like “Thanks for making the dinner tonight” or “I cannot thank you enough for watching the kids tonight and letting me have a break with my girls”, will make your husband feel good about himself
  • You can simply slip in a handwritten thank you note for him being patient the other night when you simply lost it during an argument
  • Let the kids take the lead and tell them how great of a father he has been. When he hears about this from them, he will feel blessed to have a wife like you

2. Spend quality time with him

Once married, responsibilities start to dictate the daily routines in a couples’ life. An errand here, a social commitment there. Add kids to the equation and 24 hours seem like nothing.

Couples who would spend their evenings gazing into each other’s eyes now have dirty diapers to attend to and bills to pay. The grind of daily life can quickly and swiftly throw all the passion and romance out of the window.

However, in a marriage, the first commitment of couples should be toward each other. The importance of spending quality time with each other without discussing work, children, bills and that faucet that wouldn’t stop leaking cannot be stressed upon.

A study reports that couples who spend more time with each other feel more intimate and close to each other and perceived more positive qualities in their marriage.

Here is how to use the quality time love language to strengthen your marriage:

  • Start and end your day together
  • Watch a romantic movie together, minus the kids
  • Drop the kids at the grand parents one night and plan a romantic date
  • Just take a long walk in the park or around the block, holding hands and talking
  • Get some coffee together
  • Make it a ritual to cook together once a week

There is so much more that you can add, just see what works best for your relationship.

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3. Engage in the things he likes

What are some nice things you can do for your spouse? Well, take genuine interest in the things he likes.

Whether it’s his hobbies, sports or the love of checking out car engines specs, support him whole heartedly and give him the space to do what he loves.

By taking interest we do not mean you just keep sitting through that football match, but actually learn a bit about it. This will enable you and your husband have conversations on something he likes.

He will feel you are more involved in his life and will appreciate you for it. This is perhaps one of the easiest ways to show him you care about him and all that he fancies for.

4.  Use your partner’s love language to give them love

Well, chances are you have already heard or read about marriage counselor Gary Chapman’s book on love languages. For a harmonious and a deeply satisfying relationship, practicing each other’s love language is of prime importance.

We all experience love in different ways, and when we understand how we and our partner feel loved it can help us to feel close to each other.

Everyone receives and gives love differently, for instance, you may like to shower your love in form of saying words of affirmation, but your partner wants to be loved you giving them your undivided attention.

Problems arise when the giver tries his best yet the receiver is unable to attach any meaning to the givers love language, because it does not resonate with theirs.

The lack of practicing each other’s love languages, however; results in misunderstandings and conflicts because all your attempts are not in line with how your partner wants to receive love.

Instead of expressing love how you like it, figure out what your partner likes and love them the way they want to be loved. This way, your bond will strengthen and you both will feel more intimate and connected with each other.

5.     Be there for him

Through thick and thin, through happiness and sorrows. Be there for him, when he is feeling low, when he is down, during his tough times or when he simply needs to vent.

Being there for your husband will show him you care about him and are willing to help to the best of your capacity.

If life is being rather hard on your man, make sure he can count on you. To show your husband you got his back you can-

  • Just listen to him with full attention, make and maintain eye-contact
  • Do not judge or offer unsolicited advice
  • Avoid being too intrusive or insisting to know the details. Let them be I charge of what and how much and they want to share
  • Offer words of encouragement to him
  • Tell them you are there for him, no matter what. Be explicit
  • Keep checking on him
  • Offer practical help if you can

These simple ways will make him feel loved and cared for. He will know he is important to you and is valued. Your support will make him feel blessed and positive and he will be all charged up to take on the world.

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6.     Give him undivided attention

A study concludes that partners who give their undivided attention to their spouses make them feel more intimate and it reflects positively on their marriage.

Attention is probably the most intimate emotional need for men and women alike. But what exactly is it?

Well, to state in simple words, you stop doing whatever you are and listen to the other person. You should be genuinely interested in what they are saying, not just be rolling your eyes and dismissing their thoughts.

Give attention to your husband when he has something to say, and below tips will help you do just that:

  • Keep your phone aside when you are talking
  • Listen and listen actively, not to respond
  • Do not dismiss their concerns and issues , however trivial they may seem to you
  • Make your husband feel special by pausing to listen to him
  • Practice open body language, do not fidget with your phone or other things when he is talking.

You are married and it’s not fair to either of you if you feel lonely despite having taken the vows. Love can only last when conscious attempts are made by both parties involved to ensure it is felt every day.

In long term relationships, work and family responsibilities can often make spouse neglect each other, even though unintentionally. To ensure distance does not spoil your marriage, make sure you do your bit.

Shower him with affection
Image by Freepik

7.     Shower him with affection

Whether you have just started dating, just married or have been with each other for decades, showing affection to your spouse can never get out of fashion.

Infact, affection in a relationship can decrease relationship distress and increase relationship satisfaction and commitment, as per this research.

Showering your husband with sincere affection is easy if you love him and care for him. Physical affection in terms of holding hands, touching each other often, a peck on the cheek while watching TV, speaks volumes of how you feel about your partner.

However, you might need to brush yourself a little bit if you are doing this for the first time or if you have a hard time expressing affection to your loved ones.

A simple “thank you”, “I appreciate you doing this for me” can speak volumes about your feelings. And if saying is not your thing, get creative with post it notes! They can never go wrong!

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8.     Don’t be a helicopter wife

There is a thin line between checking on your partner and being obsessive about them. If you are someone always giving out instructions, poking your nose in all his affairs, never trusting him with the minutest of chores and always doubting him, you need to stop and work on yourself.

You need to figure out how to resist the urge of manipulating him and all his does to your convenience and liking. That’s one huge part in making any relationship unhappy. And a happy marriage calls out for a lot of individual space.

Constantly hovering on your husband can affect his confidence and self-esteem big time. Your husband feels invalidated and unheard. He may simply come to believe that he is good for nothing.

This can reflect negatively in all aspects of his life- personal, social and professional. Stop right there and then. Below are some steps you can take to not try and ‘perfect’ everything:

  • Firstly, apologize to your husband for constantly nagging and belittling him
  • Discuss about what you feel is really important to you and listen to his views on the same
  • Agree to meet midway in any conflict
  • Weigh out the pros and cons before calling out anything
  • Give your husband the space he clearly and rightfully deserves
  • Respect his right to privacy
  • Work on your insecurities so that you don’t end up projecting them on him

These little steps will enable your husband to feel better about himself. Gradually, as he gets more independence and takes more decisions, his confidence will increase and in turn, your marriage improve.

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9.     Empower and support him

While it is easier said than done, empowering your man can reflect positively not just on your marriage, but also help you both individually. Empowering in a relationship manifests as support, respect, love and understanding of each other’s said and unsaid needs.

When you are aware of his desires, and make yours known to him, make sure you also discuss about each other’s boundaries.

Drop the urge to control or manipulate his feelings or choices, empowering him to make his decisions and also making him accountable for the outcome.

When going through tough times, keep your husband in high spirits by being his pillar of support.

Make sure he knows you are rooting for him no matter what. Be his biggest cheerleader. Create an environment where your husband feels cherished and welcome.

If your husband is stepping out of his comfort zone, appreciate him and wish him success. Boost his confidence by saying you love him whole heartedly and nothing ever could change that. Support his endeavors and even though he does not explicitly ask for it ; offer genuine help where you can.

10.   Be forgiving when he makes a mistake

Everyone makes mistakes. Yes, it can be frustrating when your spouse does something out of immaturity or bad decision making. Perhaps you even warned him that it may backfire. And now that it has, you are angry and upset.

It would not do any good to your relationship if you cannot forgive your man and move past his mistakes.

Especially if he owns it and takes full responsibility of his actions, you must not hold it against him and harbor resentment and contempt. Both these feelings will weaken your relationship and your health.

Research has it that contempt can increase your chances of having cancer, heart diseases and more if you hold onto contempt against your loved ones. And we all know these negative feelings have ever done any good to anyone, ever.

If anything, you must have an honest discussion of what hurt you and tell your husband that you are ready to move past that because you love him and care for him. Be forgiving and understanding and also initiate a dialogue with him so that he does not repeat the same mistakes.

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11.   Don’t say hurtful things

A research by YouGov concluded that 97% of couples in the U.S. argue. While the frequency varies, with some arguing every day to once a week, once a month and so on, it is safe to conclude that couples will argue. And argue a lot.

Arguing is not really the problem, problems arise when couples decide to fight against each other in the race to prove themselves right.

Whether its money, tone of voice, household chores or anything else, healthy arguing keeps a relationship going. But if you are someone who raises her voice, cries, uses swear words or resort to name-calling when an argument gets heated, you must take steps to stop doing that.

Try to be mindful when you get into an altercation with your husband. Practice keeping your calm even during heated arguments. If you are on the verge of saying something hurtful, stop yourself.

The best way to excuse yourself from the situation is to tell your husband that you cannot deal with it right now. Talk about the issue when you both are ready to talk about it.

Most of us end up saying things we shouldn’t or making personal attacks when we are hurt. However by stopping yourself from doing that, you will make your husband realize how you value kindness and healthy boundaries over keeping scores. Who wouldn’t love such a woman?

12.  Surprise him

Let’s get to some fun, shall we? To show your husband that you love him and are considerate of what he likes, you can arrange small surprises for him.

These surprises do not have to be large or burn holes in your pockets, but thoughtful gestures that show how much you appreciate him for who he is. When you plan such surprises, you will yourself reminisce over  your wonderful time together and why you love him so much

  • If you like cooking, whip up his favorite meal once in a while
  • If he leaves for work early, keep the coffee machine on before he comes to the kitchen to get it for himself
  • Order his favorite meal or favorite snack from the restaurant
  • Dress in something sensual and tease him when he is least expecting it. Treat him like a king in bed
  • Leave a thoughtful note of what you think of him in this laptop bag
  • Express your gratitude to him by taking the family out and leaving him alone to spend a day the way he likes
  • Arrange a nightout with his friends

This list could be endless. The end motive is to make him feel wanted, loved and cared for.

Surprise him by cooking
Image by DCStudio on Freepik

13.  Take care of yourself

You are independent. You are good at what you do, you manage the household and a million other things around it. The house is clean, food is on the table. Seamless. But you are stressed, fatigued, and angry. You haven’t had a good sleep because you wanted to wake up early and bake a cake for Emma’s school friends. Everything is done, but you are not happy or peaceful.

Woman, you are the center of the house, the core of your family. Your energy is the energy everyone in the family will exude. You know what men dig for? Women who are smiling, cheerful, relaxed and happy.

So if you want to be nice to your husband, be good to you first. Take care of yourself. Invest in self-care routines. Delegate tasks, divide household chores, and definitely loose that extra weight – of others’ expectations. There, you look lighter and brighter.

Key Takeaways

  • You can show your man you care about him by simply being there for him, being supportive and empowering him
  • You are his biggest fan, but to make him know this express your gratitude and appreciate him so he knows he can count on you
  • Validate him, be ready to value your own marriage more than anything else
  • Make sure you do not forget yourself in the process

With this, we come to the end of our super guide of how to be nice to your man. We hope you find this helpful and picked up a few cues from this and are able to stir his feelings and heart. Let us know how it worked.