“He cheated on his girlfriend with me”, if you are experiencing this at the moment, then I am sure you are going through a very perplexing time. You must be feeling guilty for becoming someone’s reason for heartache. You must be wondering if this man has deep feelings for you and he loves you. Or you could also be thinking of dating him as you have already fallen head over heels in love with him and that’s why you didn’t think about his steady girlfriend. 

Human relationships are fickle and complicated. You are wishing for things to be different while you are deliberating about something very crucial — Who is the side chick here? Is it her or is it you? You want to know if there is a future or not. Did you end up being ‘used’?

Also, you are burned out from lying and hiding things from people. You have so many queries and we are here to answer them all. 

Why Would A Guy Cheat On His Girlfriend With Me 

When a girl or a guy cheats, it’s not always as simple as it seems. The entire scenario can be deeper than what meets the eye. You can’t always blame it on lust and randiness. Here are some reasons why he is cheating on his girlfriend regardless of his strong feelings toward her:

  • He is unhappy in the relationship: This is one of the most common reasons why men cheat. He isn’t a bad person or anything. He is just unhappy. This unhappiness could stem from many factors such as, low self-esteem, self-respect, a lack of communication, a lack of emotional satisfaction, and even emotional immaturity
  • He has commitment issues: When a guy cheats on his girlfriend, it indicates he is not fully committed to the relationship. Perhaps he has doubts about its longevity, and this makes a guy more inclined to seek connections outside of it
  • The opportunity was on his face: Sometimes, cheating occurs as a spur-of-the-moment decision when the opportunity presents itself, without much thought given to the consequences. A classic example would be one-night stands
  • Feeling unappreciated: When a guy cheats, it’s usually because he is not in a healthy relationship. He could be feeling undervalued or unappreciated in the relationship. That’s why he is seeking validation elsewhere 
  • His sexual life is unfulfilling: Many men start affairs outside of their relationship as they feel there is something lacking in their intimate life. Perhaps their partners refused to experiment in bed and now they want to fulfill their desires by establishing sexual relationships outside 
  • He is bored: It could be possible that he is bored of being in a monogamous relationship and wants to experience the thrill of being in a polyamorous relationship 

He Cheated On His Girlfriend With Me — Does He Love Me? 

Cheating is a complex issue, and it doesn’t necessarily indicate a lack of love. People can cheat for various reasons. He could be in love with you or he could also be cheating on his current girlfriend with you to fulfill his physical fantasies. However, let’s take a look at instances to gauge if he could love you or if he is using you for your body.

He loves you if:

1. He prioritizes you 

This is one of the biggest signs a committed or a married man loves you. He will prioritize you over in real life over everyone else. Some other signs that show he prioritizes you include:

  • He will consistently make time for you and show genuine interest in spending quality time together
  • He will remember important dates, events, and things that matter to you, showing that he pays attention to the details of your life
  • He will ensure he doesn’t hurt you by prioritizing someone else over you
  • If he genuinely loves you, he will treat you with respect, value your opinions, and consider your feelings when making decisions 

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2. His words and actions are aligned

A positive sign in any relationship is when a man’s words align with his actions. Every woman deserves a man whose words aren’t hollow and he fulfills all his promises. Such a guy knows how to keep a woman happy. This particular trait indicates consistency and sincerity. It means they are genuine and true to their intentions, which is an essential aspect of building trust and a strong connection.

Ergo, if you are wondering whether this cheating guy loves you or not, he does love you and wants to prove his worthiness to you by making his actions speak louder than words. However, it is essential to continue observing the overall dynamics of this relationship to ensure that it is fair to all the parties involved. 

3. He is jealous and protective of you  

When guys cheat, it’s usually a one-time thing. They cheat because they are drunk or because the opportunity prevailed and they didn’t want to let it go to waste. On the contrary, when a guy cheats  on his girlfriend and suddenly becomes all protective about you, the other woman, and shows jealousy when he sees you talking to other men, it’s an indication of his strong feelings toward you. 

Sabrina, a 28-year-old medical student from Ohio, says, “He wants to be with me but he hasn’t come out clean to his girlfriend yet. He hates the idea of me going out with other guys. He gets jealous. I just don’t want to be the ‘other girl’ anymore.” Here, it’s quite evident Sabrina’s secret affair is on the verge of getting serious as the guy is showing signs of jealousy and bitterness when she goes out with someone else. 

4. He is consistent

A girl’s boyfriend cheated on her with you. It happened again and again and again. Even if the first time he was drunk, the other times he was in all his senses. He knows this is wrong but the magnetic pull is so strong that he couldn’t control himself.

He doesn’t stop cheating on his girl and he doesn’t want to leave you either. He is consistent with you but he is also afraid of hurting his partner. He respects you. He even says he loves you. This consistency clearly screams his love toward you. 

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5. He talks about breaking up with his partner 

It’s been a few months since the two of you started your secret liaison. Perhaps it was purely sexual at first but now it’s not the same as it was. You love him and he loves you back. These “meetings in secrecy” are not enough for you and him. 

He wants more and so do you. He doesn’t want to keep you a secret in his life anymore. He says he wants to confess to his girl about your relationship. He wants to end things with her. These things prove that he loves you and wants to have a future with you. Now it is upto you to decide if such a relationship is worth it.

Why Would a guy cheat on his girlfriend with me
Image by Freepik

On the other hand, he doesn’t love you if:

1. He doesn’t care about your feelings

You have to consider things from all sides and not let this thrill of a new relationship blindside you. Keep an open eye. Does he care about your feelings? Here are some instances that show his indifference and neglect toward your feelings:

  • He consistently dismisses or invalidates your feelings when you express them, making you feel unheard or unimportant
  • He shows little empathy or understanding when you are going through challenging situations or experiencing emotional distress
  • He jokes about cheating on his girlfriend. If he jokes on her, then he is making fun of you with others 
  • He prioritizes his needs and desires without considering how they might impact you emotionally
  • He avoids taking responsibility for his actions or mistakes, leaving you feeling hurt and unheard

2. He only cares about sex

Ding, ding, ding, we have a winner. Yes, this is one of the biggest reasons why guys cheat and one aspect that determines if he loves you or is using you. In cases where he primarily talks or initiates interactions that revolve around sexual topics or activities, it’s clear he doesn’t value you and just wants to fulfill his sexual needs. Moreover, he will become distant or less engaged after engaging in sexual activities. 

When guys cheat, don’t let their “wham-bam-thank you ma’m” bring you down. Establish clearly in the beginning what you want from this relationship. If you also just want to have a FWB situation, then great. There’s nothing to worry about. However, if you love him but he loves his girlfriend but cheated on his girlfriend with you, then that’s not love. He doesn’t love her. He doesn’t love you. As simple as that. 

3. He isn’t vulnerable with you 

Vulnerability is one of the building blocks of a healthy committed relationship. You need to shed your mask and show your dark sides. This only happens when you trust someone completely. Therefore, if the guy refuses to open up to you, then it’s a warning signal for you.

His hesitation in showing curiosity in you, your personality, your past traumas, and life goals show that he doesn’t really care about you and is just passing his time till things get better with his girlfriend. Yep. That’s the ugly truth! 

4. He doesn’t talk about the future 

Will he leave his girlfriend for you? How long can the two of you continue meeting in private? Does he still love his partner? If yes, then he can’t love you. If that’s a no, then why has he not left his partner yet?

These are some questions that the cheater will never answer because he couldn’t care less. He will only talk about these things with someone he sees having a further with.  Such people do not deserve love and you need to do the right thing for yourself.

5. He flirts with other girls 

One thing that will clearly reveal his intentions is how he is with other women. If he flirts with them and has frequent one-night-stands, then it’s obvious he is a serial cheater and no amount of love or sex will change him. In this case, you will be left with only one question, “Why is he ignoring me!”. It’s because it’s in his nature to date multiple women. He can’t stick with one girl.

Such a guy isn’t built for long-term relationships, has low self-esteem, and can only be helped by professional therapists. 

Here a guy cheats because he likes the excitement of new things. He is seeing other people and will continue to do so. Nothing else. He won’t love you. He won’t care about your feelings. Even if his girlfriend found out about his shenanigans, he won’t go out of his way to explain his behavior. This is where the quote stands true — Once a cheater, always a cheater. 

Well, it takes two to tango. He has cheated on his girlfriend but what made you do it? If you were aware of his relationship, then you need to stop wanting a relationship so badly that people end up using you. If you have just come to know about his relationship, then perhaps the next question on your mind would be:

Should I Tell His Girlfriend He Cheated On Her With Me?

“He cheated on his girlfriend with me, now what can I do?” — People cheat. Things happen because life is never fair. Life will put a person through hell and back in both romantic and other relationships.

Should I Tell His Girlfriend He Cheated On Her With Me?
Image by mego-studio on Freepik

But deciding whether to tell someone that their partner has cheated on them, is a complex and sensitive situation. It’s worse if you are the one he cheated on her with. So, before taking any action, consider the following factors:

  • Consequences: Revealing the truth that his man cheated on her might have significant consequences for all parties involved. It may result in emotional pain, relationship turmoil, and even the potential end of their relationship. Do you seriously want that to happen? If yes, then go ahead and confess it. This is a big deal. Think it through before making any decisions hastily 
  • Motives: Reflect on your reasons for wanting to share this information. Ensure your intentions are not coming from bad things. You genuinely want to help and you are not acting out of spite or revenge
  • Privacy and respect: Since the other woman here is you, respect the privacy and autonomy of his partner. Don’t make a gossip out of her situation. Plus, stay away from the entire situation if you have been explicitly asked to not get involved by either of the parties 
  • Communication: Encourage the guy to take responsibility for his actions and communicate honestly with his partner. She deserves to know the truth. Moreover, if she is your friend and you did the wrong thing by sleeping with her boyfriend, then it falls on you to come clean. After all, girls need to fix each other’s crown
  • Potential harm: Consider the emotional impact your disclosure might have on his girlfriend. Think about whether she would benefit from knowing the truth or if it could cause unnecessary harm

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Key Takeaways

  • When a guy cheats on his girlfriend, it’s because he is unhappy with her. He feels like something is lacking in their relationship 
  • His actions will determine whether or not he loves you. He loves you if he wants to end things with her. He doesn’t if he has other women in his life 
  • In such times, it’s best to talk to the person who has the most to lose. Woman to woman. Be sorry and tell her the truth 

You should never let a cheater get away with his actions even if the person he cheated on his girlfriend is you. You both should take responsibility for your actions and discuss the situation honestly with their girlfriend.

Ultimately, it’s essential to prioritize the well-being and feelings of all parties involved. Lastly, if you are uncertain about what to do, seeking advice from trusted female friends or a professional counselor might be beneficial. We hope you found this post helpful.