Ah, dating! It’s like the honeymoon phase of a relationship when you look at the world with rose-tinted glasses. It is also an exciting journey that you embark on to discover yourself and foster intense dating chemistry with someone.

Dating chemistry in a relationship can make your heart do the tango – it’s like finding the missing piece to your dating puzzle. You feel like you have stumbled upon an authentic connection that promises a long-term relationship.

So, what exactly is romantic chemistry in a relationship? Are there any probable telltale signs hinting at great chemistry between two people or a lack thereof? Can you fake the chemistry between two people? Let’s find an answer to all these pressing questions! 

What Is Chemistry In Dating?

A research paper published in PsychOpen defines interpersonal chemistry as “a perceived instant connection that exists when meeting a person for the first time.”

Now, what exactly could it mean? You go on your first date. Your eyes contact as you sit across the table. You have butterflies fluttering in your stomach. You catch your breath before you reach out for their hand. And, you have a warm, nervous smile on your lips masking the nervousness building inside.

You start sharing your stories, dreams, and little eccentricities. Laugher comes naturally and you feel more at ease. Your initial nervousness gives way to shared interests as you feel the romantic connection. There is a magnetic pull between you two as you come to embrace its excitement and uncertainty. That’s what interpersonal chemistry is! Dating chemistry is not something you define, rather you feel it!

  • Natural chemistry goes beyond physical appearances
  • It is the magical spark, the unexplainable attraction that ignites between two people
  • Chemistry is a unique combination of emotional, physical, and even intellectual compatibility that fosters an intimate bond between two individuals

Dating chemistry cannot be worked upon, like perhaps communication. It simply is either there or not. None of any dating advice would make sense if you do not feel the chemistry with the other person.

Is Dating Chemistry Real?

Undoubtedly, hands down! Dating without chemistry is like having your fries without ketchup! Dating chemistry is a real and potent force that glues together romantic partners. It can not only form romantic connections but also help sustain them. Good chemistry is more than mere physical attraction that may fade over time. Rather, good connection and chemistry with someone withstand the test of time to turn it into a successful relationship. 

Physical chemistry is not just about intuitive attraction. It is backed by science. Relationship experts have concluded, after years of research, that real chemistry between lovers adds that spark to their relationship. One of the research articles published in Sage Journals concludes, “When two or more individuals experience chemistry with one another, they experience their interaction as something more than the sum of their separate contributions.”

Another study points out that enigmatic dating chemistry can release a cocktail of emotions that can make you feel good. 

So, how do you know there is dating chemistry in a relationship? Let’s look at some of the signs.

10 Signs You And Your Partner Have Dating Chemistry

You could be dating a nice guy but have no chemistry. Dating without chemistry takes the fun out of a romantic relationship; it feels boring and dead. You might be highly compatible with your partner, with all the mutual respect and shared interest, yet you could be dating without chemistry.

To help you understand and pin down real chemistry between lovers, here are a couple (or 10!) of green flags to watch out for. Take a look at these signs to find out if your personal relationship is maintaining chemistry. 

1. You share a strong emotional connection

You feel the chemistry building up in your relationship when there is a strong emotional connection. 

  • You feel understood every time you agree to disagree with your partner
  • You feel supported when your partner backs your dreams and career goals
  • You feel cared for when you take a step back to process your emotions
  • You have the same opinion on things and often have the same thought process so much so that your partner knows exactly what you are thinking and finishes your sentences

Strong emotional connections such as this can build chemistry in a relationship.  

2. You feel euphoric upon meeting that person

Having physical or sexual chemistry with someone can make you feel good, and it subsequently builds up a strong desire for that person. As you get to know the person, you feel more and more drawn toward them. 

  • You look forward to meeting them
  • You daydream about them
  • Your body language involuntarily changes when you are with them in a way that they might find endearing or attractive
  • Your body responds to their presence and you can’t stop smiling thinking about them
  • You enjoy each other’s company and spending time together

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3. You find behavioral attunement and synchrony 

Now this is what science says about dating chemistry – couples who feel strong dating chemistry also share ‘synchrony’. Moreover, romantic partners will have lasting harmonious relationships if they naturally get attuned to each other’s behavior. 

The scientific report points out that ‘co-regulation of behavior and physiology is associated with the date outcome.’ In simpler words, sharing intense chemistry with someone will have synchronized biological and behavioral systems, that is, your behavioral patterns, gestures, physical movements, laughs, and even breath will be in sync.

To quote from the report, “When a man and a woman synchronize their electrodermal activity and dynamically tune their behavior to one another, they are more likely to be romantically and sexually attracted to one another.”

So the next time you are out on a date, scan through your partner’s body language to gauge if they are in sync with yours. 

Chemistry in dating
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4. There is an undeniable sexual spark 

Sexual attraction makes way for romantic relationships. Dating without chemistry will leave your relationship bland. If you do not notice that on your first date, your relationship will not even get off the ground, leave alone the thought of going for a second date. 

It is important to have this chemistry in the bedroom too. Dating but no chemistry will mean emotionless, routine sex. But intense romantic chemistry will mean life-changing, enlightening, throbbing sex that will satisfy not just your physical urge but your mental and emotional craving as well. 

5. You lock your eyes often

Relationship experts identify this as one of the telltale signs of strong romantic chemistry. When you are with someone you have chemistry with, you can’t keep your eyes off them. 

  • Your eyes meet frequently and there is an undeniable connection that transcends words
  • You want to look only at them when they are around
  • They frequently catch you looking at them
  • No matter how many people you are with, you look at only them while talking or laughing

Eye contact is a powerful nonverbal cue that can communicate attraction and interest.

6. You share a similar sense of humor

Laughter is a wonderful indicator of chemistry. When you have chemistry with someone, you’ll find that you share a similar sense of humor. 

  • Since you share the same sense of humor, it gets easier for you to make each other laugh
  • When in a group of friends, you complete each other’s jokes
  • Inside jokes are a common occurrence between you two; so while you two are laughing your heads off, others are left wondering what exactly is funny

Sharing laughter promotes bonding and creates a positive and lighthearted atmosphere in the relationship.

7. Conversations flow naturally 

You enjoy talking to each other, and the conversation comes easily and naturally. Conversations are no more restricted to being small talk or the casual, “Hi! What’s up?”. 

You have stories and experiences to share with each other. Awkward silences are replaced with comfortable ones, where you easily connect with your partner and don’t feel the pressure to sustain the conversation unnecessarily. Sudden pauses or lulls in conversation are reduced to a minimum. The meaningful conversations and talks seem endless and go deeper into each other’s souls to dig. 

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8. You have shared interests and values 

Shared interests and values lead to natural dating chemistry. Aligning fundamental beliefs creates a sense of shared purpose. Sharing interests will have you both talking about similar things. These can be related to your passions, dreams, aspirations, career goals, life goals, or even hobbies and recreational activities. You could be 

  • Sharing the same taste in music
  • Preferring the same cuisine or food
  • Binge-watching the same movies or T.V. shows
  • Supporting the same political parties
  • Volunteering for similar social causes
  • Reading similar books
  • Harboring similar dreams and aspirations

Enjoying similar topics promotes bonding, understanding, mutual respect, and admiration. 

9. You lose track of time with them 

Hours seem to whirl by in the blink of an eye and the day ends as soon as it starts – because you are with your favorite person with whom you share a romantic chemistry. Even though you have met them just now, it feels like you know them for years and can spend endless hours with them. Your first date is going on for hours and yet both of you haven’t had your fill. 

Good chemistry is when you lose track of time and don’t want the date to end. The emotional connection, physical chemistry, and sexual attraction, all make it so comfortable for you that you do not even realize the clock ticking.

Chemistry is either there or not
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10. Either of you is flirtatious with the other

Flirting comes naturally with a person when you share an intuitive dating chemistry with them. Fun, coquettish, healthy flirting is good, in fact crucial, for a relationship. If your casanova-ish flirtatious behavior surfaces when they are around, you know you have a sparkling chemistry that keeps the relationship going. Note subtle hints such as:

  • Making and holding eye contact for a longer time
  • Advances like light physical contact such as a handshake, or a friendly bear hug
  • Being awkwardly shy or fidgety around them
  • Smiling unnecessarily 
  • Noticing every little detail about them
  • Showering them with compliments

Signs of dating chemistry can manifest themselves in multiple nuances. A study published in SagePub aptly sums up these signs, “The perception of chemistry includes cognitive (i.e., perception of shared identity), affective (i.e., positive affect and attraction), and behavioral (i.e., perceived goal-relevant coordination) components.” While some of them are hard to miss, some need more attention and time before you notice them. 

The role of online dating chemistry cannot be denied in promoting bonding and personal relationships. It encompasses emotional, physical, and intellectual compatibility, creating an irresistible bond between two individuals. When you find someone with whom you have chemistry, it’s a remarkable experience that can lead to a fulfilling and long-lasting romantic relationship. 


1. Can you fake chemistry with someone?

Romantic chemistry is something that comes naturally and involuntarily. It is difficult to fake chemistry with someone you like. You either have it or you don’t. 

2. Do you need chemistry to date someone?

While chemistry is indeed a significant aspect of dating, it is not an absolute necessity. It adds a spark and a zing to the relationship, making it more fun and lively. However, it must be remembered that romantic chemistry is just one part of dating. There are many other factors that lead to long-term happiness in relationships. 

3. How rare is chemistry with someone?  

Chemistry with someone is not rare. You can easily find chemistry with anyone with whom your wavelength matches. If you are on the same page with a person and feel emotionally or physically connected with them, then you are most likely to share good chemistry with that person.