13 Upsetting Signs She Has Someone Else & 3 Things You Can Do

Everything was going well then one day she went to a party and it feels like your relationship has changed. She seems distant, is not texting you as much and hasn’t yet confirmed for the date on Saturday. And here you are, looking for signs she has someone else – because there was so much more to this relationship. Or so you thought.

A few weeks ago, my friend Shaun called me to tell me that his relationship has hit a rock. “I think my girlfriend likes someone else. She is just not the same anymore. It looks like there is someone else she likes and I feel as if I am losing her. How could she do this to me? I just don’t know what to do!!”

It can be heartbreaking to know she has feelings for someone else, but, wait, don’t make assumptions unless and until you’re totally sure. Accusing someone of cheating behind their back without any proof could sabotage your relationship. The key is to gather enough evidence to back up your suspicions before talking to her. 

That’s why I’m here to help you with some girly advice (women know women!) We’ll explore your answers to whether is she seeing someone else. And what you can actually do about it. 

Let’s get started. 

How Do You Know If A Girl Has Someone Else? 

You probably dreamt of a future with this girl and now you are trying to gather evidence that she is seeing someone else. It is devastating, but it is necessary to put a rest to your suspicions and confront your girlfriend. 

Follow this list that shows 13 signs she has someone else in her life. Then, monitor the situation at your end, and take action accordingly. Remember, to stay calm and composed – it is not your fault. Your sanity and mental health are the topmost priority. 

1. She has started keeping you waiting

She used to reply to your texts in seconds, but now it takes hours. This could be a major sign that she’s suddenly busy with someone else.

But before you jump to conclusions and assume she’s cheating, let’s take a closer look at what might be going on:

• You text her good morning, and instead of her usual quick reply, hours go by with no response
• You send a follow-up text, but it’s another long wait
• Is she busy on her phone with someone else or perhaps he’s just busy with work

While it’s natural to worry, it’s also important to understand the situation first. Here’s what you can do.

Text her, “Hey, everything okay? You seem a bit distant lately.” If everything is fine, she’ll get back to you with all the reasons behind late replies. 

Or, if that doesn’t happen and you feel she’s pushing you away, it might be time to dig a little deeper. 

Remember, the key to any healthy relationship is open and honest conversation. So, just calmly discuss your concerns with her to get a clear picture of what’s happening in your life. 

2. She’s being secretive 

Suddenly, your girlfriend’s phone is glued to her hand. She used to leave it lying around, but now it’s always with her. And she gets super secretive about what she’s texting. 

Along with keeping with you awaited, has your girlfriend suddenly started being secretive? One of the major red flags! 

This can predict that she is crushing on someone else. This can be a tough pill to swallow, but it happens. 

To confirm this possibility, talk to her best friend. That woman might know every detail! 

Moreover, if your girlfriend continues to hide things from you or you notice other signs, like a sudden interest in her appearance, or a change in her routine, there’s a chance that she’s interested in a new relationship.

And, it’s time for a one on one CONVERSATION.

This May Also Help: 10 Sneaky Signs Someone Is Hiding Something On Their Phone 

3. She’s dropping the name of a ‘new guy’

Remember when Monica told Chandler that she’d met the funniest guy at work and how he took the next flight home? You laughed at it that time but now your girlfriend has started mentioning a new guy’s name way too often. 

At first, it might seem harmless. Maybe she’s telling you a funny story about him or mentioning something he did at work. 

There could be a possibility that she’s testing you or stirring up a bit of jealousy by doing this. According to a study, 87% of women try to make their partners jealous to get their attention.

But then one fine day, you notice she’s started comparing you to him, and not in a good way. It could be one of those classic signs she has someone else in her life.

You find her saying things like, “Oh, John is so good at fixing things, unlike you,” or “Mike always knows the best places to eat,” it’s natural to feel hurt. 

These comments might be her way to drop hints that she has a new love interest. It’s also possible that this new guy is an affair partner.

4. She’s stopped being physically intimate with you 

When it comes to human relationships, sometimes we pick up on physical signs that something might be off. If you notice a sudden drop in physical intimacy, it can be one of the physical signs she is sleeping with someone else. 

If you’re going through a rough patch and she doesn’t behave the same way as before, it might be time to pay closer attention to these signs.

• A drop in sex life and physical contact (now you feel forced)
• Using dating apps or showing new interest in things she never cared about before
• Spending time or creating new memories with that new person frequently (that don’t involve you obviously)

These are the common signs of a cheating partner that could spell trouble. However, remember, real life relationships are complex, and communication is key to understanding what’s really going on.

5. She often gets defensive 

If you bring up any concerns and she gets defensive, accuses you of being insecure, or completely denies the situation, that’s a red flag. This kind of unwillingness to communicate might be a sign she has someone else in her life. 

When someone starts acting like this, it can feel like they’re trying to shut you down because they’re hiding something.

As per a research conducted in College of Education, Psychology and Social Work, the researchers say that “When people do something wrong their primary psychological need is threatened, which drives a defensive response.”

So, if she is being defensive too often, and is unwilling to have an open and honest conversation about your worries, well, my friend, something is cooking.

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6. She’s started forgetting things you both were supposed to do together 

Has your girlfriend been forgetting dates, and plans you make together, or blowing them off last minute? (Women generally don’t forget such things, and this is supported by science) 

Recently, I met one of my friends and she told me she is seeing someone else (while being in a relationship.) She had her reasons and she wasn’t happy in her current relationship. She used these tactics – keeping her partner distant, forgetting dates, etc. She hoped he would read the signs and just back off!

I told her it was not wise to do so, and if she wants to break-up she needs to come clean on it. But, her BAE did read the signs and then just decided to cut her off.

This behavior change in your girlfriend might be one of the signs there is someone else in her life. But before jumping to conclusions, it’s important to consider all possibilities.

• Genuine forgetfulness: Sometimes, life gets busy. This new behavior might just be a temporary phase where she’s more forgetful than usual
  Conflicting emotions: If she’s dealing with conflicting emotions or stress, it can lead to forgetfulness
  Emotional distance: If you’ve noticed she’s been emotionally distant lately, it could be a sign there is someone else she likes
  Underlying issues: There could be underlying issues in your relationship that need to be addressed. Maybe she’s feeling unfulfilled or there are other problems that you’re not aware of.

At last, the only resort to sort the issues is to talk to her. If there’s any of the above-listed situations, she will talk to you to clear things out. 

7. She’s suddenly active on social media 

So, she’s suddenly super active on social media, posting more pictures (without you obviously), and cryptic messages. Social media can be a strange place, and people use it for all sorts of reasons, including cheating.

You have nothing to worry if the exchanges are jovial and fun, usual social media banter and an occasional update about love, life and relationships. 

But if you notice that she’s been liking and commenting on someone else’s posts a lot, it could be one of those signs she has met someone new. It is just so easy to cheat on social media apps like Facebook, Instagram and Snapchat!

Have you noticed all her pictures and posts get some lovey-dovey reactions from the same person a lot? Well, that indicates all is not well in your paradise and she may soon break up with you.

If her online behavior feels like it’s impacting your relationship, talking to her about how you’re feeling might help clear things up.

8. She’s avoiding you

This is a big one. Observe her, when she starts avoiding eye contact (the most romantic part of a relationship.) As per science, eye contacts hold great power. When a happy couple engages in eye contacts, oxytocin, a love hormone is released, which helps strengthen the connection. 

This makes eye contact an important part of your romantic relationship and if you find her avoiding it, she might be hiding something. 

She may also seem nervous whenever you’re around. Maybe she feels uncomfortable because she’s not being completely honest with you. These changes can also be signs she has someone else in her life.  

It’s natural to feel concerned if her behavior shifts like this. But, it’s more important to talk to her about what you’re noticing and how it’s affecting you. 

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9. She’s gone through a sudden makeover

Well! We all borrow clothes from time to time. It’s pretty common to share fashion tips or swap outfits with friends. But if you notice that her physical appearance has suddenly taken a dramatic turn (new hairstyle, new clothes, wearing make up other than usual), it could be a sign she’s trying to impress someone she wants to date. 

Or, it could be more than that. Maybe she’s paying a lot of attention to that guy’s style and even trying to catch his eye. Sometimes, these changes can be subtle but still tell you a lot about where her attention might be. 

Spas every now and then, and that new hair color, coupled with buying new lingerie indicates she has her eyes on someone else.

10. She’s picking up fights more often 

You both are at your favorite pizza place, the food is good, the vibe is fine, but suddenly, out of nowhere she starts arguing with you. And you’re just left wondering, what has happened to her?

If she is doing it more often, especially over small things, it’s not a good indication.

Sometimes, when people feel guilty or are hiding something, they might pick fights to justify their actions or create distance.

If you find yourselves fighting over matters that never used to be an issue, it could be her way to deflect from bigger problems. 

11. She avoids talking about the future with you 

FYI, couples in serious relationships love to discuss the future, the wedding, having babies, making a home, etc. So if your girlfriend starts avoiding making future plans or attending family events with you, she might be unsure about you or keeping her options open. 

Many men face such situations where their girlfriends don’t talk about the future. It can be super frustrating. But, situations can be different for everyone.

Here is how you can confirm:

• If she’s always declining the plans or seems unsure when discussing future activities, it might indicate she’s not fully committed
• When discussions turn to plans, such as vacations or life goals, she doesn’t take part in them
• She has her life chalked out for the next 5 years, but you do not feature in it

She’s definitely unsure about the relationship with you and it could be a sign she has someone else. 

12. She’s just too busy (but not with you)

This time you know that there’s no work-related stress, any emotional episode, family drama– nothing. She’s always making plans that don’t involve you and seems “too busy” to spend time together but magically finds time for others. And you are feeling left out. Is it happening? 

So, it could mean she’s prioritizing someone else. You might notice her hanging out with friends you haven’t met or finding excuses to avoid being with you. 

It’s important to consider these changes and talk about how you’re feeling. 

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13. You’re just feeling something is off

Sometimes, our intuition can pick up on things that our conscious mind might not. If you have a persistent feeling that there is someone else she likes, your gut feeling can be an important indicator that something is wrong.

So, now what can you do? You have seen all the drama, secrecy, and transformations, it’s time for some confrontation. 

3 Things You Can Do If She Has Someone Else

If you’ve reached here, you may still want her to be with you. You’re probably finding every possible solution to have her in your life. 

Look, if she was really interested in you, she might not have gone this way (too harsh, but true.) So, if you have ticked any five of the traits from the list above, here’s what you can consider doing next.

1. Talk to her – honest, open and clear

Again, communication is the key! If a couple doesn’t talk openly and honestly, it’s difficult for them to maintain a healthy relationship. Whenever me and my partner have an argument or a small fight, we sort things out by communicating. 

While it’s important to give the other person some boundaries, it’s also important to know what’s going on. So, if you can’t talk your heart out to them, nothing’s gonna work. 

When you notice the signs that we have discussed above, start by expressing your concerns without accusing her. Go like, “I feel like we’re not as close as we used to be. Is there something bothering you?” 

If your girlfriend is really into you, she will talk to you, and give proper reasons behind what has happened. And, make you understand that things are perfectly normal and she’s in a committed relationship with you. 

Otherwise, she will just get defensive, and won’t take seconds to make a mountain out of a molehill. This is your ultimate cue that the relationship is over for her.

However, it is, you just need to try it out to have a clear picture. 

2. Take a break 

As important as it is to communicate effectively, it’s also crucial to give each other space. Sometimes, taking a break can help you both think about what you really want. 

Maybe there’s someone else she likes, no problem. You’ve tried talking to her, but she’s not ready to confess. Take a break. This might help her make a final decision. And you too. 

Since, giving each other space can be beneficial for the relationship, as it reduces tension and allows for personal growth. No, I’m not saying this.

A certified marriage and family therapist from Wellesley has advised this to many of his clients. Moreover, he says that not giving a break or space to your partner often leads to breakups! 

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3. Move on!

So now you have tried everything– from communicating honestly to giving her space. But nothing has worked in your favor? It’s time to move on. 

You feel sure and are convinced she has someone else in her life. So it’s time to forgive and move forward. I know it can be too hard, especially if you are deeply invested or you guys have lived together. It’s almost impossible to even think of living without them.

But, it’s important to part ways from such a toxic relationship. There is no way your girlfriend is not cheating on you and you need to protect your mental sanity and your heart.

Here’s the cliched- There are many other women waiting for someone like you.

Remember, your well-being and mental health are more crucial than any relationship. And, sometimes, ending a relationship is the healthiest choice. 

At the end of the day, every relationship goes through ups and downs. If your girlfriend has suddenly become distant or you have noticed any signs she has someone else in her life, follow our tips for damage control.

Naturally, you can feel hurt, and worried (we’re all human after all.) All you can do is stay calm and approach the situation with an open mind. 

Whether it’s a new relationship she’s exploring, or just going through a phase, understanding and communicating are key. However, at last, if nothing goes in your favor, move on my friend. You don’t need to handle all your relationship problems on your own. 

 You deserve better!